Page 45 of These Bonds that Unite Us
Feeling him this close, his arms pressed against my back, I’m thrown back to the night on the beach. When he held me against him, our bodies rocking as we raced toward a blissful moment of shared ecstasy.
A burst of perfume leaks into the air causing heat to rapidly spread up my chest and onto my cheeks. I shouldn’t be lusting after the man who has the power to destroy me.
Nebula stumbles, but thankfully doesn’t say anything. I cling to him tighter when we reach the back door, one of his arms leaving my body so he can slide it open.
I’m distracted by the sounds of splashing and playful giggles. When I glance toward the pool and see Hannah sitting at the edge while my niece plays inside with Foster, I nearly launch myself from Nebula’s arms to reach them.
His grip tightens and he chuckles, quietly scolding me for trying to jump when I could barely stand upright in the hallway.
“You invited them to visit me?”
“I know what it feels like to miss someone you were so close with. You can still see your sister, so I want you to do so any chance you get. They are welcome here anytime you wish to see them. Hell, we will buy the piece of land next to us and build them their own house if that’s what you want.” He sets me on my feet a few steps behind Hannah.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just go enjoy this time with your sister.” He wanders over to the far end of the pool whereShepherd is leaning against their outdoor kitchen beside Titan and Callisto.
Searching, I find Nexus in the water playing with Foster and Kaitlin. A little of his exuberance comes back as he entertains the small girl with big splashes and animal impressions.
“You are not okay,” Hannah grumbles when I sink down beside her. Worry fills her warm brown eyes as she watches me. “You should have called me. I would have come sooner!”
“I know, but you have enough on your plate. I’ve been trying to figure things out for myself.”
“Okay, but doing this alone doesn’t seem to be working for you.”
Leaning my head against her shoulder, I shrug. “It isn’t, but Doctor Russell was here so I at least have an idea of what to expect now.”
“And what’s that?”
Hannah’s fingers glide through my hair, petting me the same way she used to when I was a child. It’s comforting, and paired with her familiar cherry and almond scent I find myself relaxing.
My lips purse as I watch Nexus try to jump out of the water like a dolphin, his terribly performed whistle makes my niece shriek in delight but it is his splash soaking them both that has her giggling like crazy.
“I have to bond with my Alpha.”
Hannah is quiet for several minutes. As lost watching her daughter as I am watching my future mate. “Are you sure this is what you want?” she finally asks.
Turning my head so I can look up at her, I can see her eyes trained on Shepherd where he stands at the far end of the pool. “Honestly, I don’t know. I do want to be bonded to them, but I want to go back to before everything fell apart and bond as the version of us we were back then. The fear they will leaveme again is too real to walk blindly into a bond with them now. Especially him.”
“Because you thought he chose you, but he still walked away to be with them.”
I nod in agreement. Nebula may terrify me because he holds the power to use my connection to my birth family against me, but Nexus? He’s already shown me I’m not a priority for him once. I doubt I’ll ever be able to shake the fear he will make the same choice again in the future.
“If I bond with him, they will hold an even greater capability to break me. A rejected bond would destroy me in ways this chemical rejection never could.”
“So make sure they mean it. This isn’t like my marriage to Colin. Once you take their bites and give them yours, there is no turning back. They need to understand how serious your situation is, little gremlin. Let them choose you with all the facts in hand.” Her hand pats my shoulder several times as she talks. “No more secrets, even if they will hurt for those boys to hear.”
“I told them more yesterday,” I admit. Rolling up the bottom of my sweatpants I dip my feet into the cool water, allowing the easy act of swirling my ankles to calm my hectic emotions.
“Your fear of bonding with them?” Hannah raises a knowing brow, giving me one of her mom looks when I purse my lips and look away. “If you don’t tell them everything, how can you expect them to ease your fears?”
When I don’t answer she pats my head, pressing a kiss to the top of my hair. “You deserve an adoring pack, Omen. They may have royally messed up before, but even I can see they would scorch the earth to make you happy.” She starts to push to her feet, groaning in discomfort the entire way. Shepherd suddenly appears at her side with a scowl on his face as he grips her arms to help her. “And if they decide to act like imbeciles again, Shep here will kick their butts, right Alpha?”
“Damn straight. They’re lucky I haven’t already given them the ass-kicking they deserve for the way they hurt you.” He narrows his eyes at each of the guys and I can’t help but laugh. Shepherd Wilson is one scary, grumpy asshole, and I’m so happy to have a friend like him in my corner.
“Auntie Omen swim?”
I turn back to the pool to find Nexus holding Kaitlin where she floats in the water. He’s only waist deep leaving his well-defined chest and just a hint of the matching Adonis belt on display. It’s unfair for him to be so fucking handsome and half-naked when I feel like I’m falling apart over here.
