Page 85 of This Fate That Guides Us
NOW PLAYING: HOLDMy Breath- Post Malone
My eyes are still heavy with sleep when I finally wake up. The nest beside me is cold. Empty. If the room wasn’t saturated in Nexus and my scents combined, I’d believe everything that happened was yet another fever dream.
Forcing myself the rest of the way awake, I glance around to see the remnants of my time spent with one of my Fate matched mates. Empty water bottles and granola bar wrappers overflow in the trash. A full bottle and an unopened snack sit beside me with a shirt. Nexus left me his shirt. I pull the material to my nose, inhaling his amber and oud scent even though it still permeates the air around me. Small traces of Titan’s pink pepper and leather scent tell me this is actually another of my alpha’s shirts.
Not my alphas, I remind myself gently.
I need a shower. Even though I remember pieces of Nexus helping me get clean, my body feels sticky with sweat, slick, and cum. Leaving the nest for the attached bathroom, I turn the shower on to warm up while I gather the soaps and shampoos the hotel provides.
After a thorough scrub, I stand at the sink and brush my teeth. Nothing is worse than post-heat teeth grime. They always seem to be the things we forget to care for the most.
Looking at myself in the mirror, my eyes track the small bruises and love bites littering my skin. It isn’t until I turn to look at my back that my joy becomes panic. At the bottom curve of my ass, slightly hidden from view, is a partial bond mark. I know it isn’t a full mark because I can’t feel the bond in my chest. Nexus almost bonded me. He started the process at least.
Shit, I hope I didn’t bite him too.
A knock at the nest door draws my attention away from the potential disaster now decorating my ass. I throw on Nexus’ shirt, grateful it is long enough to cover all my parts, and swing the door open. Lex stands on the other side with a duffle bag in his hands. He offers it to me and I quickly get dressed, making sure all of my belongings are removed from the nest.
“Here, eat.” Lex slides me the breakfast he must have had the hotel send up. I devour the food, starving despite the protein bars Nexus fed me yesterday.
“So how bad is it?” I finally ask. I remember telling Bea to reveal everything to Pack Graves. I’m honestly surprised Nexus even showed up to help me. Maybe he felt bad about the heat and only came to make sure it didn’t kill me…
“I only know what Bea told me.” Lex shakes his head, his dark blonde hair falling across his forehead. “I can’t speak for Pack Graves, but I don’t agree with the way they’ve reacted so far. They’re removing you from the rest of the tour.”
I expected as much. I’ll have to stop by the office before they head to the West Coast and explain things to Mr. Acherley. I don’t want the guys to have to find an excuse for my termination.
“Listen, I’m not going to bullshit you Omen. Pack Graves have also made it clear they want nothing to do with you. They went as far as to put in a formal injunction with the DAU to ensure you aren’t allowed anywhere near them.”
My breath stalls in my lungs hearing the words I feared spoken aloud. Even knowing there was a chance this could be the outcome of my secrecy, I’m unprepared for the pain splintering through my chest. As if the organ is splitting apart. “I didn’t get to explain,” I mumble numbly.
I fumble through the bag I’d sat on the floor to find my phone. Opening the device, I curse when I see the battery life has diminished to less than five percent. Hoping the power will last long enough to get me through one phone call I scroll to Nexus’ name and press the call button. The line rings once before I’m sent to his voicemail.
“No, no, no.” I try Callisto next. My hands shake so much I’m barely keeping the phone in my hand. His line is the same. Titan and Nebula’s too. “Please,” I whisper. My eyes are glued to the device as I send message after message to our group chat, but they’re all undelivered. They’ve blocked me. I have no way of contacting them. Of explaining–
“Do you have a pen?” I suddenly ask Lex. There is a way I can contact them. He finds one in a drawer and hands it to me. His brows are drawn as he watches me quickly write across my skin. I focus on my mates, willing them to receive my message and give me one chance to explain everything.
‘Please let me explain.’
Minutes pass before my arm starts to vibrate with an incoming message. I choke out a breath of relief but it is short-lived.
‘Desist contact immediately or we’ll have to file a restraining order against you.’
The warm, smooth feeling wrapped around my body tells me the message is from Nebula. He’d written me randomly when he was too worried about me to resist.
Tears leak from my sore eyes in endless streams as I fall apart. Shattering like glass on concrete. My knees buckle and I hit the floor. Sobs clog my throat. I swallow convulsively to clear them away but they escape anyway.
In my mind, I can see my supposed-to-be mates. Pack Graves. We’re standing on opposite shores with the white water rapids of our emotions preventing us from reaching each other. I can see the charred remnants of a bridge hanging from each side, and I can feel the weight of a lighter in my hand. I did this to us. Forced this distance between me and my Fated pack.
Now I’m facing the consequences of my decisions and all I can feel is regret. Why does it hurt so much when I knew this was coming? My heartbreak makes me feel as though I’m being sliced into a thousand ribbons. How will I ever survive this pain?
I get one day holed up in my apartment trying to come to terms with Pack Graves' choice before I have to face the world once more. Tomorrow Primordial Covenant’s tour resumes so I have to visit the studio today to talk to Shiloh Acherley about my resignation.
Lex drives me, still my silent shadow in the wake of my birth family potentially finding my identity. I don’t see the point. So what if my father finds me? Nothing he could do would be worsethan the pain I’m experiencing now. “We’re here,” He grunts from the driver's seat. He’s been watching me more thoroughly since he witnessed my breakdown.
I follow him into the building and up to the label’s offices. We bypass the room where I’d met Primordial Covenant the first time, heading to Mr. Acherley’s office two doors down. I try to ignore the way my heart clenches painfully at the reminder of our first Fateful encounter. I almost want to step inside the room to see if it still holds any hint of their scents, but I recognize my desperation is speaking and force myself to keep moving.
“Come in,” Shiloh calls when Lex knocks on the door. We both step inside and the older exec rises to offer his hand. “Mr. Castillo, Miss Powell. To what do I owe this pleasure?” He gestures to two empty seats so I take one. Lex remains standing close to the door.
“I need to terminate my contract with the label and resign from the remainder of the tour.” Shiloh takes my request calmly, asking for my reasons. When I explain about the drugging at the festival and my connection to the DAU, he’s quick to agree. We negotiate the terms of my dismissal so my business isn’t negatively affected by my leaving.
