Page 67 of This Fate That Guides Us
“Um, Bea,” I hedge with a frown. “We can’t go out while Lex and Ridley are busy with whatever the DAU assigned them to do.”
“That would be true if Foster and Shepherd weren’t going with us!” My best friend beams, but her smile sinks when I’m not as excited about a night on the town as she is.
“Please, Oms. We’ve both been so busy with work and men,” she says with sadness in her tone, making me feel even shittier. We haven’t had nearly as much time for just us girls since beforewe left for the tour. I know something has been building between her and our bodyguards, and Shiloh the exec from the record label, but I’ve been so caught up in worry, my career, and Pack Graves I haven’t taken the time to ask her about any of it.
“Fine.” I quickly cave. While I’m not looking forward to the crowds at the local clubs, I do owe her a night out with just us. Plus Foster and Shepherd apparently. Though Shepherd will probably spend the whole night in protective mode hovering around us.
Half an hour later I stand in the doorway to our shared bathroom. Candy Courage’s most recent album blasts from the speaker sitting on the sink where Bea is currently styling her hair. I can’t hide a smile as I take us both in. An abundance of dark hair is the only real similarity between us.
Too easily I can imagine my big sister Hannah here with us. Complaining playfully about how unfair it is for us to have such thick hair while she still has to use toddler ponytail holders. An exaggeration, of course, but she always poked fun at how thin her hair is in comparison to my own. Not for the first time I wish she had fled New Hampshire with me. One day I will get her out of there. She will be as free as I hope to be.
My mind drifts to the stories Nebula told me about his sister and my heart aches. I couldn’t imagine losing Hannah, let alone watching her slowly fade away right before my eyes. His grief and pain are still palpable even with the distance between us. He obviously loved her dearly.
I make a note to ask Donovan about Hannah while we’re back in New York this week. I’m always worried my birth father will discover her role in helping me escape New Hampshire. I would never forgive myself if she was hurt protecting me.
“Your turn!” Bea sing songs, pulling me to the sink so she can pull my hair up. I let her work, finally asking all of the questions I’ve missed over the past few weeks.
“So how are things with Lex and Ridley?”
Bea’s nose scrunches when she aims a glare at me through the mirror. “It’s complicated.”
“That I get,” I respond with a sigh.
“Not so much with Ridley. He swears I’m his Fate matched mate. His connection is experiencing the other person's pain, something he promises he feels with me every time I so much as stub my toe. I think he’s crazy, but he’s also hot as hell and I do feel a pull, so I don’t know.” She braids the top of my hair into two strands before pulling them back to loop over the small space buns she’s created toward the back. “Lex is… difficult. We’ve both admitted we feel the pull, but he’s so hot and cold about it I don’t know if I even believe him half the time.”
I bite my cheek to hide a wince. Is that how Pack Graves feels about me too? Are they unsure about my interest in them because of how flaky I’ve been in my affection?
“Not that it matters since neither one has any interest in building a pack with me. Not yet at least. It would be unprofessional.” She rolls her eyes with genuine annoyance as she talks. “And with the two of them hanging around it’s not like I can sneak off to hook up with a hot musician or roadie when the urge strikes.”
My poor bestie. She’s finally surrounded by hot musicians only to realize the dick she wants isn’t even part of the band. “You’ll work it out,” I promise. “Eventually Donovan’s safety concerns will fade and they won’t be our bodyguards anymore. Then they’ll be free to pick you up.”
Bea only shrugs so I switch to a different topic. “What about Mr. Acherley?”
Her hands stumble around the curling iron she’s using on the rest of my hair when I mention the Soulbound office exec. “He’s my boss. And even if he wasn't, he's an arrogant, overstepping asshole.”
I chuckle at her description before mentioning him calling her by her full first name. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about! Well, that and everything else he’s done, but seriously how difficult is it to call me Bea instead of Sabine?! Especially after hearing repeatedly how much I loathe my full name. He’s such a prick.” Even with the fire in her voice, I can see the heat in her eyes when she thinks of the older alpha.
“Too bad you can’t hate fuck him to get it out of your system,” I joke.
She swats my shoulder before starting her own inquisition. “What about you Miss I never have time for my bestie because I’m always hanging out with hot musicians? Don’t think I missed how flushed you were after you disappeared with Nebula last night!”
I drop my eyes to the sink, my guilt renewed. Now would be the perfect opportunity to tell her who Primordial Covenant is to me, but I can’t force the words past my throat. Instead, I offer a different truth. “They are definitely hot. Absolutely smokin’. And so sweet. We just connected from day one and it’s only grown more intense since then.”
She finishes my hair and motions for me to spin around so she can get to work on my makeup. Bea loves dressing me up any chance she gets. She’ll be a great girl mom in the future if she decides to have kids of her own.
“But?” she prompts.
“But, I’ve been fighting the pull. At first out of concern. I doubt I’ll ever get over the fear my birth family will find them and hurt them to get to me. Then, after we grew closer and I realized how safe I feel with them, it morphed into a different fear.”
“You’re still afraid they’ll reject you once they learn who you were before,” she adds softly as she paints my eyelids. “Oh, Oms.They seem like a pretty level-headed pack. I doubt they’d hold your birth family’s sins against you.”
I hum in agreement, not speaking as she moves on to my lips. When she’s done I tell her about my call with Donovan. Leaving out any mention of Fated connections. Bea agrees I should talk to Lex and tell Pack Graves this week after their show.
“No matter what happens, babe, I’ve got your back.”
I wrap her in a tight hug before she ushers me into my room to finish getting ready.
I feel lighter having talked things out with my bestie. Even if there are still secrets I’ll have to reveal eventually, it’s nice to have her to talk to when I get too nervous about my future with my pack.
