Page 56 of This Fate That Guides Us
Which is why I’ve been pacing my bus all evening. After our show in Little Rock last night and tonight in Memphis, the guys have been closed off. Morose even. I don’t think anyone else on the tour staff has noticed, or maybe they already know the cause, but I don’t know and my omega instincts have certainly noticed. My skin is crawling with the need to go to their bus, beat down their door, and crawl into their laps to soothe them.
Something I am very tempted to do, but fear prevents me from taking that step. Fear of my birth family and of their rejection when they learn my birth identity. No matter how hard I try to convince myself, I can’t seem to believe they will still want to be with me once they learn the truth.
“If you don’t sit down I’m going to call Nexus and make him take you to their bus for the night,” Bea groans from the coach where she’s been binging the last few episodes of the reality talent show she’s obsessed with. I’ve kept my pacing out of her view, but apparently, I’m still bothering her anyway.
Lex studies me from where he sits beside her, before nodding. “Put some athletic clothes on, we’re going for a run.”
I look at him in horror, my mouth opening and closing as I try to comprehend what he suggests. “You want me to do what?!”
Bea is belly laughing beside him, her red face half buried in one of her pillows. “Omen is an omega. We don’t run.”
Lex rolls his eyes at my best friend, a softness reflected there that makes my heart ache before he turns a raised brow in my direction. “Your instincts are riding you hard enough you are bursting with anxious energy and can’t sit still. So, you have two choices. One–we go for a run to wear you out. Two–I throw you over my shoulder and drop you on Pack Grave’s couch. The choice is yours, but you’d better decide quickly, Omen.”
“You can’t seriously–”
“Tick-tock,” Lex says, cutting me off. He stands and starts stretching his arms behind his head. I study his face and realize he’s actually serious.
“Lex,” I try to bargain. I slowly back toward the bunks hoping I can outrun him and lock myself in my nest.
“Times up,” he grins. It’s absolutely terrifying watching his lips tilt up. He barely even smiles and now he’s grinning? He closes the distance between us before I can fully turn to face the back of our bus. His shoulder digs into my stomach and I’m tossed against his back as he stands back to his full height.
“Put me down you barbarian!” I shriek in protest, but my bodyguard ignores me as he stomps down the steps of our bus and out the door. Each step bounces me against him and I’m left with no choice but to hold on to prevent myself from getting way too intimate with his ass.
“I don’t think bodyguards are supposed to manhandle their clients,” I grumble as he stops outside of Primordial Covenant’s bus.
“Probably not,” he chuckles as he beats on their door, “but you’re too stubborn to let me help you otherwise.”
The door opens and the sound of their TV playing in the background filters out around us. “Lex?” Callisto questions. “Omen? Are you okay?” Lex doesn’t bother to answer the beta. He just grunts as he shoves past him and bounces us onto their bus.
“Lex, I swear to god, if you don’t stop bouncing me around I’m going to give you a big enough wedgie you’ll lose at least one ball from poor circulation in the process!” My protest turns into a squeal as I’m immediately thrown off his shoulder. I barely process the growls vibrating through the air when I land against a hard chest. Strong arms wrap around me, preventing me from bouncing to the floor.
“What the fuck, Ferguson?” Nebula snarls from across the room.
“She’s not to leave this bus without me, but until her instincts calm down, she’s your problem. Call me when she’s less frantic.” The door slams behind Lex as he leaves me behind, red-faced and wishing a hole in the floor would open up and swallow me. I’m going to strangle him in his sleep if I survive tonight.
Pink pepper and leather fill my senses as Titan helps me upright. I glance at his face before awkwardly letting my gaze fall away. We all sit in awkward silence and my heart breaks a little. I know I’m the one who has been pushing them away, that this silence is my fault. I don’t know how to fix it. Or if I can even overcome my fears long enough to attempt to.
“You okay little omega?” Nebula asks. He sits down on the couch beside us and I shrug, picking at imaginary lint on my shirt. Strong fingers grip my chin forcing me to look up at him. “Lex said something about your instincts?”
I sigh knowing they won’t drop it until I admit what’s wrong. I try to push to my feet to escape Titan’s hold, knowing he’s still upset with how our date ended in Louisville, but his arms wraptighter around me. I peek back up at him through my lashes only to find his expression stern as he stares down at me.
“It’s natural for an omega to sometimes develop an affinity to people they spend a lot of time around or have a deeper connection to. So it’s easy for us to feel the stronger emotions of someone we have an affinity with. The four of you have emitted… sour vibes for the past two nights and I’ve been able to feel your discontent.”
“So, you are restless because you can feel something is off but you don’t know what the reason is?” Nebula clarifies.
“And you didn’t feel comfortable asking us,” Callisto adds with a sad half-smile.
“Basically,” I admit with a shrug trying not to meet any of their eyes. My issues aren’t their problem any more than theirs are mine. I need to leave and find a way to deal with my haywire instincts on my own, but Titan hasn’t made a move to release me from his arms yet.
“We are all from Nashville. Well, I guess it’s more accurate to say we attended the Alpha Academy there but grew up in the greater Nashville area.” Nexus plays with a piece of my hair as he starts to explain. “The state of Tennessee as a whole has an outdated traditionalist view, so most of us don’t have many good memories here.”
“That also means,” Nebula grunts, squeezing onto the couch with us, “the protests outside of the show will be the most volatile there too.”
My breath catches as I consider what he’s told me. Michigan is still the roughest of the protests we have faced, so knowing our next stop may be worse makes me a little nervous. I did anticipate Nashville to be somewhere I wouldn’t feel safe working from anywhere but the stage, given the closest anti-designation group’s headquarters is a little over an hour away.
They make it seem as though they are more worried about the anti-pack protestors who live locally. My teeth dig into my lip as I try to fight the urge to voice the questions flying through my mind. They don’t owe me answers, especially after the hot and cold treatment I’ve given them throughout the past few weeks of their tour.
Swallowing my questions is hard. My frazzled instincts only make the task all the more difficult.
