Page 55 of This Fate That Guides Us
“We have to leave early to get to Little Rock with enough time for Omen to visit a laundromat to wash out the blankets from her nest,” Lex explains when my girl shakes her head in denial. “One of us will let you know when she’s up and moving for the day.”
“Thanks man.” Relief fills my voice with his promise. I’ll drive my mates crazy on the road tomorrow if I spend the entire ride worrying about my girl experiencing another mini-heat alone. As long as I know she’s okay, I should be able to keep my instincts in check until I see her again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
NOW PLAYING: CANYou Feel My Heart- Bring Me the Horizon
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday,” I apologize to Shelby. Bea had texted her yesterday evening to let her know what was going on but I’d been too exhausted to stay awake for the phone call.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart, we both know those mini-heats can really wipe you out afterward. You’ve experienced them enough in the past five years to know how best to care for yourself afterward.”
Shelby’s voice is light but I can still pick up the thread of worry in her tone. Knowing I’m the cause of her concern has guilt slowly bubbling in my mind. I shouldn’t feel like I’m burdening her, but I do. My birth parents certainly would have seen it that way.
“So another one, huh? Is it just the two now or have there been others?”
“Just the two,” I tell her. I’m grateful she’s moving on so quickly. Focusing on the facts will help my feelings of inadequacy fade.
“Hmmm, and you’re still taking your birth control regularly? Haven’t missed a dose in the chaos of the tour?” I tell her I haven’t and hear her shuffling paperwork on her desk. I can picture her sitting in her office. The white wooden desk she uses is usually cluttered with notes and files. She somehow always knows where the thing she’s looking for is, which is truly a feat since no one else would ever be able to find it without reorganizing the entire room.
“The blood work we did before the tour didn’t show anything unusual so I was going to assume it was stress-induced, but if they are recurring then there may be something more going on.”
“Like what?” I ask curiously. Aside from a birth control malfunction, I’m not sure what else causes mini-heats.
“The most obvious answer would be your body developing a tolerance to your birth control. Pregnancy is also one of the top causes, but unlikely in your case since you’ve been taking preventative measures for so long.” Shelby pauses. I can hear her clicking a pen, something she does when she is lost in thought. “The lesser known causes are autoimmune diseases or damage to your scent glands.”
“The last two would have shown up in the blood work, right?” I’m certainly not a doctor but I’ve learned enough from helping Shelby and Foster over the years to understand the way my body works in relation to things like blood work and medications.
“Correct, We’ll do another round of tests when you get back to Starburgh next week, just to be safe.”
I agreed and we set up a time for me to stop by the local DAU clinic the day after we get back. We chat about how the dads are doing–Forrest is driving her crazy with his other mates busy at their jobs for the next few days, but I can hear the love in her voice as she talks about all the little events he’s managed to talk her into attending with him.
Longing for the type of bond they share briefly fills me, but I try not to linger on the feeling.
“Oh, I remembered one other thing! It isn’t something scientifically confirmed, more of an old wive’s tale, but it’s believed close proximity to one of your Fate matched mates can also cause hormone fluctuations. Almost like your body is trying to convince you to solidify the connection. Again, it’s a rumor, but at least it’s a fun one, right?”
I laugh along halfheartedly with Shelby before quickly, but subtly, ending the call. My mind is already whirling. Since the moment I saw Titan’s Fated connection appear in the tunnel I’ve suspected his pack were the soulmates at the other end of mine. Between Shelby’s ‘fun’ rumor and the pull between us, there is little doubt who they are to me.
Still, I need to know for sure and there’s only one way to find out. Tonight, while they are getting ready for their show in Little Rock, I’m going to send my mates a message.
Leaning against the bar at the back of the venue, I watch Primordial Covenant finish their sound check. The guys have been so sweet tonight, even Titan stopped to check in with me after Nexus told them about my mini-heat yesterday. My guilt builds with each and every interaction I have with their pack. The inside of my cheek is nearly raw from my teeth digging intoit to stop myself from blurting out my truths to ease the weight of my sins.
Brady walks out onto the stage, stealing Pack Graves' attention. Their backs are turned toward me and I know this is my chance. I shift my hand slowly to my pocket, being careful to not draw Lex’s attention, and pull out a gel pen.
Pressing the tip to my palm I focus on Callisto. His light cedar and wildflower scent. The way he smiled as we danced beside his fire a few nights ago.
I freeze realizing I never worked out what I was going to say. I don’t want to risk giving myself away, not yet. The sound of Bea’s voice travels from the side of the stage where she is grilling her band’s drummer about how he plans to utilize the advice Titan gave him.
A small smile stretches across my lips as I focus back on Pack Graves, letting my intent flow into the ink as I doodle a little bumblebee on my palm. I quickly recap the pen and shove it in my pocket in time to see all four of them glance down at their hands.
Nexus’ face lights up, his deep brown eyes snapping over to where I’m standing. That light fades a little bit when he sees me going through pictures on my camera, no pen in sight.
The taste of copper fills my mouth as I bite my inner cheek even harder, breaking the skin in my attempt to rein in the despair slowly pouring through my veins. Pack Graves are my Fate matched mates. I’ve witnessed proof of our connection with my own eyes. I should be elated. I should rush the stage and throw myself in their arms to share this joyous news.
Instead, I stand frozen at the sidelines, unable to move past my fear.
I’ve always known Fate could be a fickle bitch, but to hand me my dream career with my soulmates as my coworkersknowing I can’t claim them? I’m starting to think the universe hates me as much as I do.
As an omega, your instincts can often alert you to when someone nearby is feeling an intense emotion. Usually anger or sadness, but occasionally joy or frustration too. When you meet your Fate matched mates, your empathetic sense is greatly enhanced. You become so in tune with their changes in mood you don’t even have to be in the same room to know something is wrong.
