Page 53 of This Fate That Guides Us
Taking a long, hot shower to clear the post-heat grime from my body, I glance in the mirror as I dry myself off. My hair isa tangled mess, even after washing it. The skin beneath my eyes is dark, a clear side effect of the exhaustion still clinging to my body.
I haven’t bothered to return my contacts and it’s odd to see my own sea-green orbs looking back at me. Sighing, I leave the contact container untouched and walk out to the living room area.
Bea doesn’t comment on my lack of disguise, she just slides my phone across the table toward me. I glance at the lit screen to see multiple unread texts from Pack Graves. Nexus mostly.
Opening the thread, I have to fight back tears when I read them all. Sweet notes about his day, awful jokes he found on the internet, candid pictures of him and his mates. I haven’t responded to a single message in three days and yet he never stopped sending them.
I feel overwhelmingly shitty seeing how much effort he’s put in to connect with me. I’ve been such a bitch the past few days ignoring and avoiding them with no explanation why. They all deserve better than the way I’ve been treating them.
Yet another example of how defective I am as an omega.
Ridley sits a large bowl of pasta on the table in front of me before settling at the other end of the couch beside Bea. “Thanks,” I mumble before digging in.
Slowly eating my food, I snort a laugh when I look up to see Ridley smashing his. I swear alphas eat daily what a post-heat omega does. Or maybe that’s a Ridley and Lex thing. I guess I haven’t spent a lot of time around alphas who embrace their designation.
Sitting my empty bowl aside, I sink into the couch cushions and will myself to not fall right back to sleep. Since the mini-heat has cleared my system, taking my heightened moodiness with it, I know I need to apologize to all three of my bus mates. They didn’t deserve me lashing out at them yesterday.
“I’m sorry.” I force my eyes open and meet both of their gazes. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did. I took my frustration at myself out on you and that wasn’t okay. I’ll try to work through things better in the future instead of taking my emotions out on those around me.”
“You were starting a mini-heat, Oms, so we all can cut you some slack. You know how I get before a heat so…” Bea shrugs. She is definitely a grump before her heat starts, but she never directs those feelings toward me.
I start to voice my objections to her immediate forgiveness but am interrupted when someone knocks on our door. Lex appears from the front where he must have been on the phone with Brady. Muffled voices float back toward us before he returns.
Panic begins to well in my heart when I spy Nexus walking up the steps behind him. I’m not wearing my contacts! He’s going to realize I’ve been hiding my real identity. He’s going to hate me for lying to him. I can’t–
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
NOW PLAYING: HYPNOSIS- Sleep Token
Over three days have passed since I spoke to my girl. She’s been ghosting us every chance she gets and I don’t know why. The nasty voice at the back of my mind has a thousand reasons for the distance between us, but I’m doing my best to ignore him.
I am worthy of the omega who holds my heart captive.
Maybe if I tell myself that often enough, I’ll start to believe it.
Staring up at the bleary sky–because of course it would be cloudy and rainy when my sunshine isn’t around–I sit in my feelings. The skin-crawling anxiety and festering worry are emotions I have to own before they tear me apart.
“She’s trapped in her own head,” Callisto murmurs from beside me. His head leans against my shoulder. I know he’s trying to comfort me, to ease the ache in my chest my separation from Omen is causing.
My love for Cal is as fathomless as the deepest parts of the ocean, but even he cannot pull me from the funk I’ve found myself in. Only having my girl in my arms will heal me.
“She said she wasn’t good for our pack. We just have to be patient and show her how much we value her presence.”
I nod along agreeing Omen needs to be wooed slowly, with lots of words of affirmation along the way. Patience, however, is something I find myself lacking. Which doesn’t surprise anyone.
When Callisto sighs and heads over to talk to Nebula by the bus steps, I pull my phone out and start planning a romance novel worthy grovel. I may not know what I’m apologizing for, but I’m going to show my girl exactly how sorry I am anyway.
With a bouquet of peach and lavender roses in hand, I knock on Omen’s bus door. I ordered only a dozen, since I know my girl doesn’t react well to receiving gifts. She can smash them on the floor for all I care. As long as I get to see her with my own eyes, to hear her sultry voice and inhale her floral scent.
Lex cracks the door open, the scowl on his face fades when he sees me waiting outside. He shakes his head but steps back to let me move past him. Bea is sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Omen, an empty bowl on her lap and worry creasing her forehead as she watches her best friend eat.
My girl is freshly showered, her long hair still wet and dripping onto her faded t-shirt. Dark circles line her eyes showing her exhaustion. I feel bad for interrupting her dinner, but I can’t leave now. Not when her scent fills the air of their bus and settles the anxious beast living within me.
Dropping to my knees beside her, I hold the flowers out. “Please accept my apology, gorgeous, for whatever I or my packmates did to upset you.” I keep my eyes locked on the wall behind her, too nervous to see her reaction.
“Oh Nex, it’s nothing any of you did,” she promises. “I’ve been going through some personal things–”
“She’s been having mini-heats,” Bea interjects.
