Page 4 of This Fate That Guides Us
‘The warmth of your scent feels like coming home.
The threads woven between us remind me I’m no longer alone.’
Half an hour later when the professor is wrapping up her lecture, my arm starts to tingle where I wrote on it. I momentarily grow concerned I might be having a bad reaction to the ink on my skin and quickly glance down at the words.
Seeing nothing wrong with my arm, I’m even more confused when I start to feel a sense of comfort and joy spread through me. Like getting hot cocoa from your favorite café on a cold day and realizing they put a dash of cayenne inside.
Bewildered, my eyes begin to roam around the room, but when the tingling starts to grow stronger, they snap back to my arm. Below where I wrote on my arm, words start to appear.
‘In the safety of your arms, I find my greatest joy,
wherever you go, no matter how far, my soul finally
knows where it belongs.’
My breath stalls in my lungs as panic builds low in my spine. No, please no, I silently beg as I stare at the words in shock. Tremors shake my hands as I gather my things, causing me to send my bag tumbling back to the floor when I try to pick it up.
Nausea churns in my stomach as I start to panic. I can’t have a Fated connection. It isn’t safe. They could–
Bam! The classroom door slams against the wall when someone opens it and walks inside. The next class is starting soon and I’m running late.
Walking into the hallway, I take a few deep breaths to center myself. All of my panic and worry are packed into a small box to be dealt with at home tonight. Right now I just have to focus on getting through the rest of my school day.
If you were to ask me to recount either of my last two lectures for the day, my mind would draw a blank. How could I focus with these words burned into my arm, reminding me of how cruel Fate can be? I barely remember waving goodbye as I left campus and beelined for my apartment.
The door slams shut behind me causing Bea to jump from where she sits at the table. “Oms?”
Here in the safety of our space, I let the feelings trapped beneath my skin free. Tears well in my eyes, dripping down my cheeks. Wordlessly, I slip off my coat and hold out my arm for my best friend to see.
She takes my hand, gently turning my wrist to read the words. “You have a Fated connection?” She keeps her voice pitched low, knowing me well enough to realize I am too close to spiraling into a full panic attack to handle her true excitement.
“Yes,” I choke out the word. I can’t even look at my arm without feeling as though I will break.
I’ve spent the past several years hiding behind a new identity after being forced to run from my hometown when I presented as an omega. My birth family are some of the most vocal and intolerant anti-designation leaders in the country. The DAU–a pro-pack, pro-designation group–helped smuggle me somewhere safer. They set me up with a whole new life, a new identity, and everything necessary for me to hide in plain sight.
So I can’t have any mates, Fated or otherwise. Not until my birth family no longer poses a threat to me and everyone associated with me.
I struggle enough knowing Bea and her family may one day be targeted to get to me. The thought of bonding to someone and my family finding them… I won’t do it.
Even though it destroys me to reject this connection, what choice do I have?
“No! I can see what you’re thinking and I won’t let you do that to yourself!” Bea glares. Her nails dig into my palm, grounding me through my panic. “Oms, I love you to pieces. You know I do. You’ve been my ride-or-die since the moment we met. So I’m going to be brutally honest, and it’s going to hurt to hear.”
She pauses, waiting until I meet her eyes. “If you set aside your connection to your mates out of fear, your parents win. They spent their entire life chipping away at your unique pieces so you’d fit their mold and join the other sheep they’ve converted. They are terrible, awful, vile people. Why are you denying yourself the possibility of the type of love people around the world dream about? Why are you letting your villains win?”
“I can’t, Bea,” I beg her. Imploring her to understand. “You grew up hearing stories from other anti-designation survivors, so you know what happens to anyone who defies my father’s vision. If he ever finds me… We both know I won’t survive a second time. And if I have a pack, even one I’m not bonded to, and he finds out? It would be selfish of me to put anyone else at risk. I won’t destroy someone else for a chance at my own happiness.”
Bea paces away from me in frustration. Her hands dig into her curls, tugging at the roots. Suddenly she stops and spins on her heel to face me. “So wait.”
“Wait?” I repeat.
“Yes, wait.” She closes the distance between us and grips both of my hands tightly in hers. “This connection is forever, Oms. You don’t have to meet and bond with them tomorrow. So wait. The DAU is already working extensively to find a way to take down not only your father but the entire oppressivesystem. What happens if you reject this bond and a year from now your father is behind bars and unable to ever find you? Are you willing to take that chance?”
Staring into the depths of her blue eyes, I take my first breath in what feels like a lifetime. She’s right. I was so lost in my fear and anxiety I hadn’t even considered it a possibility to delay getting to know them.
I could have that happiness with my mates on the other end of this Fated connection. I just have to ask them to be patient until I am safe enough to find them.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I won’t reject the connection. Yet.”
