Page 37 of You Can't Fight Lightning
Roxy
Iwoke feeling relaxed, refreshed, and ready for my date with Z.
Those words resonated in my head, pinging around like hail bouncing off a metal roof.
I had a date.
A date.
With Z.
The man I’d kissed last night. I’d wanted to kiss his face off.
Panic hit me, sending my brain firing in all different directions as memories of last night came back.
I’d kissed him.
He’d kissed me.
I’d nearly fallen down in a swoon at the way he felt when he was kissing me. Like, I’dneverbeen kissed like that before.
Ever.
Holy shit. I wanted him to kiss me more, to kiss me everywhere. I wanted to—I stopped myself. What was I doing? I needed to cancel the date. I needed to stop this.
Somehow, in the insanity of yesterday, I’d allowed my guard down, and I agreed to meet him today for brunch.
And now, in the cold light of reality, I knew I couldn’t do it.
I liked him too much.
And if he liked me? Well, he was basically signing his death sentence. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t watch another man I loved die.
I didn’t love Z.
But I could.
And I knew it.
Shaking my head, tossing back the blankets, I got up and showered, determined to set my world right. My life was small, and unexciting, and no one kissed me like Z had kissed me, but my world was safe. For me. For those around me. No one loved me the way I wanted to be loved, sure. Even though I didn’t know if I really deserved love ever again. Not after Wade and Cameron. But when I stayed single, no one else died.
Even though my heart was stomping its feet and carrying on, I got ready and left the house feeling determined. I was not going to do this to another man, nor was I going to pick up the pieces of my heart again.
After the last two times, I wasn’t sure that I could piece them together anymore.
My heart was miserable now, but it was better than what could happen. What would happen? I knew the curse would hit me again like I knew my bad habits.
When I parked near the coffee shop, Z was outside again. His posture was relaxed, and he was reading, the book in one hand.
His sunglasses caught the light and for a moment, he seemed surrounded by light, like an aura.
He was so beautiful.
My heart stopped stomping its feet long enough to pout, and ache.
Damn it.
He looked up as I walked toward him, and the way his face lit up at the sight of me caused another ache, this one deep in the core of my heart.
