Page 34 of Shift in the Blood
“Oh, sure. I’m just your employer.”
“You want to say that to her face?” Neville came out of a room as I grumbled.
“No. Don’t you repeat it either.”
“She’s not wrong. You need to make things right. I think that Clara is pretty clear on what she wants.”
“She hasn’t even been here a month! How can you know?” I’d never felt this disoriented and frustrated and irritated in all my four hundred plus years.
“How can you not?” Neville’s question followed me like the Ghost of Christmas past.
I was still stewing over this idea when there was a knock on my door two nights later.
It was Clara. I knew before I even opened the door.
“Come in.” I stepped aside to invite her in.
She eased in, looking uncomfortable.
“How can I help you?” God, did I have to sound so formal? So… so like a complete ass?
“We need to talk about the patronage.”
I looked at her carefully. She wasn’t wearing the necklace, but holding it in her hand. She held it out to me. “This isn’t going to work for me. I’ve tried, but I can’t. We…” She stopped. Took a breath. Then faced me and continued. “We want different things from this. And this is painful. I’ve finished withFemme au Repos. I can finish the rest away from here. I’ll have them to you within the next six months. You have my word.” She shook her hand holding the necklace slightly, wanting me to take it.
“Why do you want to leave?”
“Because I care for you… I care for you a great deal. You are keeping me safe. You got rid of Maxim for me without a second thought. You’re watching out for Carina. She’s all right. I’ve spoken to her.” A smile briefly cross her face. “You’re doing for me in the way I’ve always felt it was my responsibility to take care of Carina. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have someone else take care of you. To care for you. And I’m grateful.” She clasped her hands in front of her, stopping again.
“But?”
“I want more. You don’t. I thought I could live with it, but it’s becoming untenable.”
“Untenable?” I wanted to make sure I was hearing her right.
She nodded. “I can’t stop how I feel about you. Even now, when I’m so mad at you I could kick you somewhere painful. I could kick you hard. More than once.” Her expression turned ferocious.
“Your feelings are not unrequited.”
“And another thing---what?” she stopped.
“Your feelings are not unrequited.”
“Then why are you doing this?” She tossed up her hands, her frustration evident.
“Your entire adult life. That’s what you said, right? That you’d had to be responsible your entire adult life, and that you didn’t feel you had a lot of choice. Even with the patronage. You felt you had no choice.”
“I am not getting your point.”
“Someone had just tried to kill you. You were hurt. Your sister and you were fighting. I didn’t want you to make a choice from a place of fear, or desperation, or because you felt there were no others.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I wanted you to choose me for me.”
Chapter Thirteen
Clara
