Page 45 of Nostalgia
The sun was starting to go down and I was reclining next to the pool when the twins both cannonballed right in. They laughed as they splashed each other and me. I was about to ask where their lifeguard was when motion at the backdoor caught my eye.
I could have swallowed my tongue. The bikini that Aiyanna wore looked a tad too small but damn, it was fitting in all the right areas. The blue fabric looked amazing against her bronzed skin. Her lean stomach flexed she grabbed some towels from a cabinet next to the outdoor kitchen.
“You can close your mouth now.” She called to me.
“Your brother let you outside in that?” I struggled to get the words out. I didn’t have to see her naked, I could imagine it now. I was struggling to stay on my chair and not crawl right to her. I was pathetic.
“He’s taking a nap.” She laughed as she made her way into the water. I was almost disappointed I was missing my view but then I imagined the bikini clinging to her evenmoreand I was anxious. “Maze was right about this one.”
I laughed. “Yeah? She let you borrow that?”
“Said it would drive you crazy.” She shook her head. “Huh.”
“You could wear a potato sack and it would drive me crazy.”
She didn’t say anything and ducked under the water. She emerged by my feet and rested her head on her arms. “You want to marry me?”
I sat down in front of her and pulled her hands into mine. “I don’t date just for fun, Aiyanna. I am dating to get married someday and you’re the only one I can see myself with for a long time. If you don’t see this as a long term gig,” I shrugged even though it hurt to say it. “That’s fine, and I will walk away. But I needed everything laid out so you never have to guess how I feel about you.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Aiyanna
Derek Mule was a no-nonsensekind of man. It was terrifying and sexy all wrapped up in one weird burrito. I hadn’t thought of marrying Derek, but if the cards had been reversed and I didn’t have all the baggage from my family hanging over my head, would things be different? Would I have thought of more before now?
My fingers parted my hair expertly then braided the thick strands without looking in the mirror. I had locked the door this time. I hadn’t said much after his admonition and here I was, hiding like a sick animal. We were supposed to go home tomorrow but a part of me wanted to stay here. To grow old with my family right up my butt and the reservation breathing down my throat. But another part of me wanted to see where this thing went with Derek.
The way he interacted with Everly and Henry was enough to tell me he was going to be an incredible father someday. He was attentive to my needs and always gave me space if I needed it. It was like he could sense it. He was broody and overprotective but not overbearing. I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. I knew I didn’t have to make any serious decisions today but I knew that if I didn’t want to marry him someday or couldn’t see that as a possibility I had to walk away.
Possibly sell my bar and come home. Not because it was my only option but because Derek and the bar were the only things that kept me rooted there. I planted my hands on the ceramic countertop and stared at myself in the mirror.
If I was going to walk away from Derek, I had to do it soon. Even if it meant staying behind while he boarded that plane to Virginia.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Derek
I could feelit in the air that things had changed between us. I had gone and messed it all up but I knew that I wouldn’t take any of it back, not one single word. I wasn’t the kind of man to do that, not to keep a woman. There were tons of women out there and if Aiyanna didn’t want me for the long haul, so be it. It would hurt like hell but I would move on. She taught me that it was okay too. For that, I knew I would always love her. I would always think of her and the freedom she gave my soul.
I went to knock on the bathroom door but I stopped. She had been in there for an hour. While she had gotten ready, or whatever it was she was doing, I had gone for a run, ate breakfast, and had a chat with her pops. I came upstairs to change and shower to find the bathroom door locked still.
My knuckles met the wooden door and emotions fell from my face when the door unlocked. She didn’t open the door but I knew when I went in there, she would be gone.
Even though I had already had breakfast I sat down with Aiyanna at the table with her parents. We didn’t speak to each other. I honestly didn’t know what to say at this point. I couldn’t salvage the relationship. Aiyanna’s parents looked at us with strange faces but didn’t ask questions. I had a feeling those would come later when we weren’t together. Or when I went on another run to get all of this pent up anxiety out of my system.
But that didn’t happen because her dad had enough of the awkward silence. “What is going on between you two? You’re usually picking at each other and stealing food from each other’s plates. You can hardly keep your hands off of one another and I don’t even have to worry about more than kissing going on.”
Aiyanna’s mom looked at him and shook her head. She didn’t approve of the meddling.
Aiyanna took a big sip from her orange juice and looked at me for the first time that morning. For the first time since I had met her, I couldn’t read her. She cleared her throat, looked down at her plate, and started talking. “Derek told me that he is dating to marry me someday.”
Her mother clapped her hands and her father frowned in my direction. All these men could see what I didwrongexcept me.
Halona stopped clapping and looked at her daughter’s features. “Isn’t that what you want someday?”
“What if I don’t want to live in Virginia for the rest of my life? What if I want to come home?” Her voice was soft and I honestly hadn’t expected that to be a reason she didn’t want to be with me anymore. She knew I wouldn’t hold her back from that right?
“Then you come home,” I said. I didn’t sound disappointed or upset. In fact, I wasn’t afraid either. If that was the only thing keeping us apart, I could manage.
