Page 1 of Nostalgia
Chapter One
Derek Mule
I zeroedin on her from across the bar. She looked like a hard-ass, but I doubted she was one. The side of her head was shaved and tattoos snaked out from her collar. She cocked an eyebrow as a man approached her. She didn't say anything and continued to act like she didn't care about the attention, but by the way her body moved, I could tell she was enjoying the show. The nonstop attention that was being thrown at her feet. Her bright eyes met mine briefly and interest sparked inside of them.
Eric nudged my elbow. “Why don't you go talk to her?"
I grunted in response. I had been interested but now that she had set her sights on me, my feelings had faded. It was a blessing and a curse. The blessing was it got me laid, the curse being it was never with the woman I was interested in. The moment they turned their bedroom eyes on, I was done. My body and mind were seriously messed up. They loved to torment me.
Jace leaned in and clinked his beer against my empty glass. "Do you revel in being alone?"
I turned my eyes to his and narrowed them. His face fell and he took a step backward. He knew I was hitting my limit on human interaction. Tonight was faster than usual. I raked my fingers through my short hair and stood from the bar. I couldn't handle the loud, thumping music any longer and the small talk was starting to make me electric. And not in a good way. I pushed through the throngs of people and tried my hardest to not make eye contact again.
A shoulder bumped into mine and forced me to look up. The woman scowled at me. She pushed her blue hair from her bright eyes and gave me a stare that could have ended me. I had never felt so much anger radiate off of someone else before.
"You could watch where you're going," she snapped.
"I could say the same to you," I growled back.
"It's impossible to stay out of your way. You're a hulking giant not caring what you plow into. Did your troop nickname you the Hulk yet?" Her lips curled up but she hardly looked amused.
I frowned. "Troop?"
"Don't play stupid. You come in here several nights a week with your attitude and boys. They're either brothers or you're in the military. We are close to a base."
I rolled my eyes and pushed around her. Her little fingers wrapped around my wrist and I was honestly surprised by the move. I didn't yank out of her grasp and I didn't turn back toward her. "If you knew who I was and what I do, you wouldn't have touched me. I would greatly consider your next move."
She laughed. It was pretty but slightly deranged. "I'm not afraid of you."
Scratch that. She was fully deranged. "You're insane."
"I think this is the most I have ever seen you talk," she said as she released her grip on my wrist.
"Are you watching me?" I asked. My boots crunched on the gravel as I swiveled back in her direction, but she was already gone. The bumping of the music could still be heard from the parking lot I now stood in, but it wasn't the music that had my blood humming. It was the girl that hadn't backed down from my broody exterior and my grunting, awful personality.
Chapter Two
Derek
We wentfor another lap and I dusted Jace. He was one of the fastest of my brothers in our SEAL squad. He had earned it because I had held back at every practice and every training. There was no point in me being good at anything but killing my targets. I was the best at a lot of things but there were some things I needed to hide. Today was one of those days that I needed a win. It had been two weeks since I had been to the bar. Two weeks since that little firecracker had tried to get my walls down. Or at least, that's what I imagined happened. I was probably delirious that night. Drinking was a no bueno in my book. I couldn't afford to lose focus. It was too dangerous, but that night I had seen my team watching me. I couldn't give them any reason to worry.
A memory bubbled up as I took a sip from my water bottle. The cold water fought its way down my throat while I fought to keep the pain from surfacing. I could do this. I could keep myself in check. I had done it for ten years. I blinked and there it was playing in the back of my mind, like it had happened yesterday.
Pain.
Suffering.
Grief.
Jace watched me with careful eyes. He had this thing where he could stare through my soul. He had always been like that, but it had intensified since he had married his wife, Elise. I raised my eyebrows and gave him a blank stare. There was no reason for him to know my problems. I had left the death of my loved ones and the failure of my past right where it belonged, in the past. I loved my brothers. I would die for them. I had almost died for them on many occasions but they didn’t need to know what was going on behind the scenes. We couldn’t jeopardize missions with my bullshit. I couldn't jeopardize missions withmyproblems.
"Are you okay?" Jace finally asked.
I grunted.
"Lately your grunts have sounded different,” Jace said from behind me. I left him in the road with all of his analyzing. I couldn't do this today. I pushed the door open to our housing and passed the rest of my brothers doing their various household duties. We would be deploying soon and needed to prepare for that. Everyone looked my way as I breezed through but I didn't care. I didn't pay them any attention. I couldn't afford to. It was going to be Jace's first deployment since his son had been born. His second deployment since he had married Elise and been reunited with his daughter, Everly. I had to make sure every mission didn't end up like the one that almost ended his life before. The one mission that was one hundred percent my fault. Every mission after that had to go perfectly or I would make sure I was the one that wouldn’t make it home.
For the first time in ten years, I knew I needed a drink.
