Page 20 of Healing Hearts on Thistledown Lane: Part 4
‘That’s good,’ he said, although the doubtful look in his eyes suggested he was far from convinced. ‘And I know it won’t make anything better, but I’m sorry.’
Maura closed her eyes briefly. Her heart had leapt to find Fraser on her doorstep and she was glad he’d taken such prompt action to stop Fleming from causing more damage. But it didn’t change the fundamental problem. Fleming had approached her because of her friendship with Fraser, and it was something that would probably only get worse the more successful he became. Who was to say this wouldn’t be a recurring theme – that other journalists wouldn’t pick up the scent and follow it back to her? Could they target her again in the future?
‘Thank you,’ she said at length. ‘I know it’s not your fault. It’s just the price of fame, isn’t it? People want to know everything about you. Scandal sells newspapers and when there’s no scandal, they make one up.’ Glancing up, she saw he was utterlystill, watching her with an air of wary expectation, as though he knew what she was going to say next. ‘I can’t live that way, Fraser,’ she said softly. ‘I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder every time I go out, or wondering if the messages that come through my website are genuine. I’m happy you’re living your dream but I don’t want to be caught in the crossfire.’ She took a breath. ‘I don’t think we can be friends anymore. I’m sorry.’
He eyed her silently, his expression unreadable. ‘I can’t say I blame you,’ he said. ‘But I’ve come to a realisation of my own over the last few days. I don’t think thisismy dream. Not anymore.’
Confused, she blinked. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean the whole movie star thing,’ he said. ‘Fending off journalists, flying thousands of miles at a moment’s notice, working opposite actors who are rude and entitled when there are more talented alternatives who don’t get a look-in because they don’t know the right people. Being away from home and living in hotels…’ He dragged a hand through his hair and sighed. ‘I don’t think it’s for me.’
‘You’re jetlagged,’ she countered, because he couldn’t mean any of this. ‘You’ll feel better in the morning.’
He took a step towards her. ‘That’s the thing – I don’t think I will. I sat on Venice Beach, telling myself how lucky I was to be there, how incredible it was going to be to star in a Marco Minelli film, and I felt – nothing. No excitement, no happiness. I couldn’t wait to leave.’
Maura frowned. ‘But that’s just homesickness. Everyone gets that when they’re outside their comfort zone.’
‘Maybe, but I think it was more than that.’ He hesitated, uncertainty etched across his face. ‘Sitting on the plane, waiting for it to take off, all I could think about was you.’
‘Me?’ she echoed, her forehead crumpling in dismay. ‘Please tell me you didn’t come back early because of my run-in with Fleming.’
‘No.’ Fraser shook his head. ‘I didn’t know about that until I landed.’ He let out a slow breath and fixed her with steady eyes. ‘The truth is, you were on my mind long before that. When I was watching the sun come up in Beverly Hills, on a tour of the studio and even when I was supposed to be kissing Priscilla de la Cruz. That’s when I realised the only woman I wanted to kiss was you.’
The admission caused Maura to gasp. She goggled at him in wide-eyed astonishment, certain she must have misheard. ‘What?’
His gaze didn’t waver. ‘I’m not sure how long I’ve wanted that. Maybe for months, although I convinced myself I was mistaking friendship for something else. And then you broke up with Jamie and you were so lost – so fragile – that it felt wrong to even think of you as anything more than a friend. I was scared to do anything that might hurt you or frighten you off.’ He puffed out a sigh. ‘I still am.’
Head reeling, Maura let out a shaky laugh. All this time she’d been holding back, worried that admitting she wanted more than friendship would drive Fraser away, and it seemed he’d been doing the same. But fear hadn’t been the only thing holding her back. His return to acting had given her another good reason to say nothing, and that hadn’t changed. The hesitation Fraser was experiencing now would undoubtedly pass, and Maura would be left nursing more disappointment – perhaps even a broken heart.
‘Why are you telling me this?’ she asked, anguish colouring the words. ‘You’re about to become world famous, Fraser. I don’t want to be part of that.’
Shaking his head, he kept his eyes fixed on hers. ‘But that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m not going to be famous. I pulled out of the movie.’
‘You did what?’ The calmness with which he had uttered the words only bewildered her more. ‘Are you insane?’
Fraser grimaced. ‘I know that’s how it looks but I’m actually thinking rationally for the first time in months. Or as rationally as a man who’s lost his heart can ever think.’
It was too much for Maura. Did he mean he’d lost heart in acting? She took a breath. ‘I don’t understand. What exactly are you saying?’
He took three steps forward to close the distance between them and gently took her hands. ‘I’m saying that I love you, Maura.’ He gazed steadily down at her, a smile curving the corners of his mouth. ‘I think I always have, right from the first time I saw you. I just didn’t appreciate it until yesterday.’
‘Me?’ she whispered, certain she had misunderstood once again. ‘Youloveme?’
Fraser nodded. ‘Do you remember that Christmas years ago? When we bumped into each other outside the pub and you stopped me from landing face down on the pavement?’
She felt her eyes widen. ‘Yes, but I didn’t think you did.’
‘How could I forget?’ he said. ‘You looked like an angel, sent to save me from myself. But no sooner had I got you in my arms than you vanished, and it took me eighteen years to find you again.’ Smiling once more, he reached out to brush a curl from her forehead. ‘I fell in love with the idea of you then. It’s taken me until now to realise I love the woman you’ve become.’
Tears pressed at Maura’s eyes but this time she didn’t fight them. How often had she dreamed of him saying these words? Could she trust that it was real now? ‘Do you mean that?’
He nodded. ‘I do. And I hope with all my heart you love me too.’
The dam broke inside Maura. All her fears and objections were washed away, leaving only the shimmering glow of happiness. ‘I do,’ she cried, turning her face towards his. ‘I do love you. I think I always have.’
Afterwards, she would marvel at the way time seemed to stop. The breath caught in her throat as she stared up at him, this man who had danced in and out of her life for so long. She took in the long lashes that still framed the oceans of his eyes, the fine cheek bones and firm chin, now partly softened by the ticklish brush of his beard. He’d called her an angel but he was the beautiful one, and somehow, he was hers to kiss; not for a single stolen moment, but slowly and lengthily. With infinite wonder, she reached up to caress the curve of his cheek and drew him towards her. The touch of his lips was tentative, feather light and all too brief, making her skin catch fire. But less than a heartbeat later, his mouth was on hers again, pressing with a gentle insistence that sent her thoughts spinning, before pulling away once more. When at last he kissed her fully, she lost all sense of anything except him. Her arms tightened around him as the embrace deepened, and she never wanted to let go. It had been so long since that first kiss, too short to do much more than teach her what a kiss could be. But even that was nothing compared to what she felt now. Joy mingled with rightness to create an intense sense of belonging – the feeling that she was exactly where she ought to be, that at long last she was home. Warmth blossomed in every part of her and, for a time, that was all she knew. Then, before she was entirely lost, the kiss slowed. Finally, they broke apart to gaze at each other in dazed wonder.
‘Wow,’ Fraser murmured, sounding more than a little breathless. ‘That’s what I call a kiss.’
