Page 69 of A Montana Secret Admirer
But her?
Something told him she was already planning on leaving him the second the summer was over. Despite knowing that, he couldn’t shake that terrified feeling of actually losing her for good. If she wasn’t willing to commit to something right now, then how could he expect her to commit to something long-distance?
The truth was simple.
He couldn’t.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Another new day,and Serenity didn’t want to drag herself from her bed.
She was all too familiar with the dark, depressing feelings that floated in her mind. She’d felt the same way the first weeks after losing Finn.
Getting out of bed had been a chore, and she’d only done it for her boys. She should be getting up and facing the consequences of how she’d treated not only her sister, but Reese as well. Mostly, there was the embarrassment over her outbursts. There were no excuses for her behavior. While she did know that she was right to a degree, the way she’d approached it had been wrong.
Her sister would forgive her.
That was who Jane was, through and through.
She’d probably sweep her feelings under the rug and tell Serenity that she was just worried for her, and that they were still going to be close no matter what.
A silly argument wasn’t going to come between them.
But Reese?
He was likely already regretting his interest in her. He’d said it was okay, but she wouldn’t be surprised if he’d felt put on the spot.
Serenity pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and groaned. Damage control would be a necessity today. She just didn’t know where to start.
She loved Reese.
Deep in her soul, she knew she did. She even knew she wanted to stay in Rocky Ridge. And if she were completely honest with herself, she’d easily be able to admit that if it weren’t for her concerns about Tegan, she might have already signed a lease for that cute little apartment she’d found above the tailor in town. She hadn’t told Jane about it. And she definitely wouldn’t be able to tell Reese. Somehow, admitting how easy it would be to move her life to this small town would almost make it a permanent reality.
Another groan escaped her lips as she turned her body to the side and climbed off her bed.
Why was she so scared of making that commitment? There had to be something deeper than just her fears for Tegan. At times, her internal struggles stole her breath.
Literally.
Too many people were counting on her. Too many people were waiting for her to make a decision that would alter the course of their lives.
She could feel the catch of her breath as her heart started palpitating once more. Serenity placed a palm over her chest and closed her eyes. It wasn’t like she was agreeing to marry the guy.
Marriage.
The thought both terrified her and thrilled her all at once, which only added to the growing anxiety in her body. How could part of her want something so badly while another side of her wanted to run?
Serenity paused at the full-length mirror that hung on the wall and took in her bedraggled appearance. Her issues had nothing to do with Finn—well, not in the typical sense of the word. She would always love him. She would always miss him. But she knew she could move forward and be happy while holding those memories close to her chest.
The anxiety she was feeling?
That was a whole other ballgame.
She looked tired. Worn out. Her fears were getting the better of her. Fear of losing Reese. Fear of allowing herself to be happy again only for that happiness to be ripped from her fingertips. Closing her eyes against the onslaught of emotions that came with that realization, Serenity forced herself to focus on her breathing.
The weight of these decisions was wreaking havoc with her mental state. She was better than this. She’d push through it like she always did.
Taking in a deep breath, she counted to ten, then she exhaled. “I can do this. I just have to prioritize what is most important.”
