Page 59 of Cowboy
I understand his meaning, not in front of Saoirse. "Of course. Why don't you go wash up? I'll start on dinner."
As Ciarán heads inside, Saoirse tugs on my hand. "Can I help with dinner?"
I smile down at her. "Of course you can. Let's go see what we can make."
In the kitchen, I set Saoirse up with the task of washing vegetables while I start chopping. My mind is racing with questions about Ciarán's meeting, about our impending trip to Vienna, about what will happen when we finally confront Dylan.
"Caoimhe?" Saoirse's voice breaks through my thoughts. "You're not chopping anymore."
I look down to see the knife still in my hand, hovering over the half-cut onion. "Sorry, sweetheart. I just got lost in thought for a moment."
Saoirse gives me a knowing look far beyond her years. "It's okay to be scared," she says softly. "I get scared too."
I set down the knife and pull her into a hug, marveling at her intuition and strength. "You're right," I whisper. "It is okay to be scared. But you know what? Being brave doesn't mean you're not scared. It means doing what you need to do even when you are scared."
She nods against my chest. "Like you did when you saved me?"
"Exactly like that," I say, my voice thick with emotion. "And like you did every day since then."
We stay like that for a moment, drawing strength from each other. Then I hear Ciarán's footsteps approaching, and we pull apart.
"Something smells good," he says, entering the kitchen. His hair is damp from the shower, and he looks more relaxed than when he arrived.
"We're making stir fry," Saoirse announces proudly. "I washed the vegetables."
Ciarán grins at her. "Excellent job, little chef. I bet it's going to be delicious."
As we finish preparing dinner, I can't help but marvel at how domestic this all feels. For a moment, it's almost like we're a normal family, untouched by the horrors of the past year. But reality is never far away, and I know that once Saoirse is in bed, Ciarán and I will have to discuss the difficult road ahead.
After dinner, we settle Saoirse in with a movie while Ciarán and I clean up. As I'm drying the last dish, he leans against the counter, his expression serious.
"So," he begins quietly, "I talked to Travis and Pyro. We're set to leave for Vienna in two days."
I nod, a mixture of anticipation and dread settling in my stomach. "And they're okay with me coming along?"
Ciarán hesitates. "They understand why you need to be there. But, Caoimhe, you have to promise me that when it comes time to... deal with Dylan, you'll stay back. Let the club handle it."
I want to argue, to insist that I should be there every step of the way, but I know he's right. Whatever happens to Dylan, I can't be directly involved. Not if I want to move forward with my life, with Saoirse.
"I promise," I say softly. "I just need to see him, to understand why he did this to me. After that... he's all yours."
Ciarán nods, relief evident in his eyes. He reaches out, gently tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "We'll get through this together, okay? And when it's all over, we'll figure out what comes next. For all of us."
I lean into his touch, drawing strength from his presence. "Thank you," I whisper. "For everything."
As we stand there in the quiet kitchen, I'm struck by how much has changed in such a short time. A few weeks ago, I was trapped in a nightmare, with no hope of escape. Now, I'm here with Ciarán, with Saoirse, on the verge of confronting my past and reclaiming my future.
Whatever happens in Vienna, whatever answers I get from Dylan, I know one thing for certain: I'm not alone anymore. And that gives me the strength to face whatever lies ahead.
19
COWBOY
The morning of our departure arrives all too quickly. As I load our bags into the car, I can't shake the feeling that everything is about to change. Caoimhe emerges from the house, Saoirse's small hand clasped tightly in hers. The little girl's eyes are red-rimmed, and I know saying goodbye has been hard on both of them.
"You ready?" I ask softly as Caoimhe approaches.
She nods, her jaw set with determination. "As I'll ever be."
