Page 96 of The Grump I Loathe
“No,” I interrupted, my voice quiet but firm. “It’s not the wedding. It’syou. I used to pull you away from whatever was your latest obsession. I’d make you unplug and spend time with Grace—but I’m not there in your daily life anymore.Youhave to be the one to police yourself. To make sure that when you make a promise to Grace, you keep it. Because Sawyer…” I trailed off. I didn’t want to be accused of jealousy again, but there were things that needed to be said.
“Because Sawyer’s not going to do what you did, right?” Ali stated. “That’s what you want to say.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “It is.”
There was a long pause where all I could hear was the sound of metal rubbing against metal. Ali was fiddling with her necklace. She always did that when she was anxious. “Sawyer pulls me away from my work so I can focus onhim,” she admitted. “He won’t do it for Grace.”
“That’s certainly the impression I’ve gotten.”
“He loves me, you know. And I love him.”
“I don’t doubt that,” I said. “But he doesn’t show the slightest interest in Grace. I get the impression that he’s happiest when she’s not around. And if that’s what you want too, then I can deal with that. I’ll talk to my lawyer, you’ll talk to yours, and we’ll get it on paper that custody is completely mine, without visitation. Grace won’t like it, but she’ll learn to move on. If you’re not going to be in her life, it’ll be better to have a clean break.” I didn’t want Grace to go through what Eddie did, and I was going to make damn sure it didn’t happen.
“That’s not what I want,” Ali said quickly. “I’ll…I’ll talk to Sawyer. I’ll make it clear that Grace and I are a package deal. And I’ll do better about making time for her going forward, and not canceling phone calls or plans. Maybe hire a PA to make sure I unplug when I need to.”
“Good,” I said, letting out a sigh. “That’s go?—”
“Andyou’lldo better, too,” Ali added.
“…What?”
“Connor…” Alitsked. “Why do you think Grace gave you the phone?”
“Because you wanted to yell at me for what happened at your reception?”
She chuckled. “Well,yeah,I absolutely wanted to yell at you for that. But that wasn’tGrace’smotive. What she wanted was for me to talk some sense into you.”
“This is about Eddie, isn’t it?” I asked, barely holding back a groan.
“Yeah. Look, I didn’t realize you two were that serious. And I’m sorry for anything I might have said at the wedding.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What did you say?”
“I might have implied she was a rebound.”
“To her? Ali?—”
“And like I said, I’m sorry for that. Because from what Grace tells me, she’s really special to you. And she makes you happy. When was the last time you actually let yourself have something just for the joy of it?”
“I’ve got other things to worry about than the amount of joy in my life,” I ground out.
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t. The company is thriving. Grace is amazing. Your mom has built an incredible life for herself. Don’t you think it’s time you finally prioritized yourself and what you really want?”
I took a beat, considering her words. Of all the conversations I figured I’d be having with Ali, this wasn’t one of them. But maybe she was right. Maybe I finally did have the chance to open myself up to real love, real happiness.
“If you’re not going to do it for yourself, don’t you think you should do it for Grace? I want her to grow up seeing the adults in her life be happy—with work they enjoy, and friendships that support them, and love that makes everything worthwhile. That’s what I want to model for her. Don’t you?”
It was a valid point. If I wanted to give Grace the best life she could have, didn’t I owe it to her to build a good life for myself? How else would she know it was possible?
And no matter how I tried or who I imagined, the only person I saw at my side, truly making me happy, was Eddie. No one else was going to argue with me over quesadillas like she did or get me addicted to M&M’s the way she did or turn a pancake breakfast into a dance party like her. There was no one like Eddie.
No one else was going to come in and flip my world upside down.
“Well?” Ali said.
“I’ll consider it,” I said. “What you said.”
“Good. And we should take another look at our custody arrangement, but what I really think we need to do is consult Grace about it. Let her decide what days she wants to spend with both of us.”
