Page 69 of The Grump I Loathe
My hand tightened around my fork as two lines appeared between Eddie’s eyebrows. “I’m sorry you dealt with that.”
Eddie shrugged, stabbing her dessert. “Old news. I just hate that Alannah’s having to go through it. She doesn’t need the stress before the regional competition. Despite how hard they push her, I know Alannah genuinely likes gymnastics. But they’re gonna ruin it for her. I wish I could do more, I just…don’t know where to start.”
“I’m sure Alannah appreciates all the support youdogive her. When I was going through my divorce, my brothers were my rocks. I don’t know what I would have done if they weren’t around to support me and Grace.”
“I’m glad you’re so close,” Eddie said. “That you had them. I’m a little jealous. I wished for siblings all the time growing up. Someone else to sit with me through all the mess and keep me company. And now I finally have one, and Valentina wants to drag her to the other side of the country.” She took a long dreg of her wine. “The ridiculous thing is I’m still sitting here wishing for a big family, when clearly that isn’t meant to be.”
“It’s not ridiculous to want that,” I said. “I wanted Grace to have a big family, too. Well, maybe nothuge, but I always wanted siblings for her. Istillthink about that even knowing how horribly things ended with Ali.”
“She’d be an awesome big sister,” Eddie said.
I smiled. “Well, at any rate, she’ll have younger cousins.”
Eddie’s smile turned sad, and I wanted to offer my family up to her. I knew how quickly she’d win them over, the way she had Grace, and—whoa!
Hold on.
I couldn’t be thinking likethat. Because that was dangerous. That was inviting the idea that this was serious and lasting. I couldn’twanther like that. I knew how destructive that kind of want could be. It would only bring instability to my life. To Grace’s. To the company. I cleared my throat. “Well, I know it doesn’t make up for the lack of family, but I think you’ve got quite the crew at the office. You’re good at collecting people.”
She smirked. “It’s all the chocolate I keep stocked in my cubicle. But, no, if anyone’s good at collecting people, it’s you.”
“Last time I checked, you told me people were afraid of me.”
“Not afraid,intimidated.They look up to you, and they don’t want to disappoint you because of how wellyoulook after them.”
“I just think people shouldn’t have to fight so hard for basic things. Decent, affordable health care. A paycheck that does more than cover their living expenses. Time off. Growing up with my mom’s health being so unpredictable was rough, and I wished we’d had more support. I feel like that’s the bare minimum I can provide LockMill’s staff.”
I chuckled under my breath. “It’s funny. I didn’t even want to work in this industry in the first place, and now I’m locked in.”
Eddie frowned. “How’d you end up in gaming, then?”
I gave her a brief overview of how Ali came to me with the investment opportunity and how just when the company took off and we’d agreed to part ways, Ali learned she was pregnant. “Getting married and staying with the company so we could have that security was definitely a decision I made for Grace’s benefit at the time. I thought we both did. Now I think Ali feels like I trapped her in this life with me even though all I ever wanted to do was?—”
“Take care of her,” Eddie said softly, running her fingers over the back of my hand. “You’re always taking care of people, from what I’ve seen. Grace. The LockMill employees. Your Mom. It’s what you do best.”
My chest twinged. No one had ever said that to me before. Not out loud. “I wish Ali wasn’t so angry with me. That she didn’t feel like I’d robbed her of years of happiness.”
“Is that howyoufeel?”
“I didn’t before, but now…I don’t know how I feel. We were never perfect, but I thought we were committed to making sure Grace was taken care of. And I was happyenoughwith that. Now I wonder if I did it all wrong.”
Eddie tipped her head thoughtfully. “I think you make the best decisions you can at the time, and you have to work not to resent the fallout of those decisions. Sure, maybe you two would do things differently if you were able to do it over right now, but that’s only because you have a decade of perspective and hindsight to go off of. It doesn’t feel very fair for Ali to blame you for a compromise youbothmade.”
“I think I just wanted to make sure Grace had the stability I always craved as a kid.”
“You always want to be everyone’s rock,” Eddie said. “My parents would have loved having you as a kid. Solid. Dependable. Theystillwish I’d picked a more stable career. Those few months when I was contemplating leaving the industry were probably the happiest of their lives.”
“You thought about doing something else?” I asked.
“No…Well, not exactly. I was dating this guy in college. Things ended pretty badly, I was upset, and I wasn’t sure I saw a future in gaming anymore thanks to Ryker.”
“Wait…Ryker’s your ex?”
She nodded. “We were pretty serious in college. We started working together, developing a game in my junior year. It did fairly well in the indie circles.”
I frowned. “Wait, are you talking aboutLethal Deception? But Ryker always says he made it on his own. Why wasn’t it on your CV?” Her only personal credit had beenAlterbot.
“Because when it premiered, he’d conveniently forgotten to put my name in the credits.”
