Page 71 of Prince of Control
“Of course, I came for you.” I don’t know why my eyes are getting hot. My throat feels clogged. “You’re my husband.”
Baron drops his head between his knees for a moment then leans his shoulder against mine. “I’m humbled,” he mumbles. “I want–” He breaks off again.
He’s usually so slick and confident. As pakhan of his bratva cell, he’s strong, dominant, the leader, but right now, he’s all mine.
I didn’t realize how much I needed this. Not that I wanted him humbled–well, maybe I did–but that I craved prying him open like an oyster. Seeing the softer parts under the hard shell. I wanted to find out what makes him tick. What makes him sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of everyone around him? What makes him so fierce a protector?
I touch his face. “What do you want?” I murmur.
He lets out a humorless chuff of laughter. “I want you to care.” His voice breaks.
My heart follows suit.
I throw my leg over his waist to straddle his lap. “I care, Baron,” I whisper.
He holds my waist and leans his forehead against mine. “I’m crazy about you, Lara. I agreed to marry you out of duty, but the moment I met you, that changed. You felt like…someone I’d been waiting for my entire life.”
Tears prick my eyes.
“I didn’t want this. I still don’t. But…you got past my defenses. I want to know you, Baron. The real you.”
He stares back at me, his brown eyes dark. I see a faint alarm in them. Like he knows I’m storming the castle, coming for his deepest, darkest secret.
“Tell me,” I murmur.
Genuine alarm flares, but he covers it. “Tell you what?”
“What happened that made you this way. Who did you lose?”
He sucks in a startled breath and holds it.
I cradle his stubbled jaw in my hands and stroke my thumbs back toward his ears, tracing the soft hairs that make up his sideburns.
“Our housekeeper. Valentina. And…Lili could have died.”
I stay very still, hardly breathing. Waiting for him to go on.
“It was my fault. We never left our building without protection. My dad drove us to school in an armored car. Our building was a fortress–no one could breach it.” Baron’s breath comes in short, shallow pants.
The trauma of whatever he’s about to tell me still rules his nervous system. He still relives it like it’s happening in the present.
“I wanted ice cream.” His voice is rusty. “There was this ice cream cart out on the beach–I could see it from our living room window. I was ten–old enough to go buy it myself, but we weren’t allowed out alone, which I hated. I hassled Valentina to let me go, and when she wouldn’t, I asked her to take us down there. I got Lili in on it, and she begged and pleaded and whined until Valentina agreed to take us.
I keep my mouth shut and continue to brush my thumbs over his temples, around his ears, trying to soothe the agitated state from his body while he tells the story.
“We got the ice cream, and we were walking back–almost in front of our building–when this white van drove up on the sidewalk, and three guys jump out. Valentina screams and picks Lili up. She tells me to run to the building, but I–” he shakes his head, looking confused. Like he’s still that ten-year-old boy in shock on the sidewalk.
“I just stood there. I froze.”
“That’s a normal human response,” I murmur softly, not wanting to interrupt his flow but also not wanting him to go on with some belief that he did the wrong thing.
He swallowed. “One of them shot Valentina in the head. She went down on the sidewalk with half her head blown off. He grabbed Lili’s arm and pulled it out of the socket, yanking her out of Valentina’s death grip.
“Two guys grabbed me. I finally woke up and tried to get away, but it was too late. They wrestled me to the van. Maykl––Alexei and Feliks’ dad–rushed out of the building with guns drawn, but he didn’t fire.”
Baron’s brows furrow. “I screamed at him to shoot. At the time, I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t, but, of course, he was afraid of accidentally hitting me or Lili.”
Baron stops and doesn’t go on. His gaze is unfocused, like he’s still reliving the moment.
