Page 66 of The Russian Pakhan's Forced Bride
I suppose it’s easier for him to feel that way when everything is going in his favor, and this is something he has clearly been wanting. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I cried in the bathroom after.
Not out of sadness…but from how overwhelmed I felt.
It’s been a lot to take in, especially given everything else that has happened between us.
Our marriage has been nothing short of a whirlwind full of whiplash, and despite how I’m still getting to know Roman, we’re going to be welcoming another life in a few months.
The thought of having a baby doesn’t scare me, but not entirely knowing the man I’ve been married to, or how it might change us does.
Roman is in and out of the house as often as he can be, but it’s been mostly quiet.
He has me on a strict schedule of taking it easy, which involves lounging around the house and trying my hardest to keep busy somehow.
But without any work or chores to preoccupy me, it’s easier said than done.
Elena stops by in the early afternoon, carrying an arrangement of pretty spring flowers and some desserts she picked up from her favorite spot to break up the monotony.
She’s full of life, looking radiant and sounding more than excited.
As much as I find it difficult to connect with Roman’s family when I see them, Elena is the outlier, and despite everything, I find myself appreciating her company more and more.
“I already have a list of names if you need some inspiration,” she says while we walk together through a quiet strip in the city with a few guards trailing behind us. She grins. “To be fair, I’ve thought of more girl names since that’s what my gut feeling is telling me it’ll be. I already know she’ll have everyone wrapped around her finger.”
I can’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm, well aware that she’s been looking forward to this day for quite some time. “And what if it’s a boy?”
“Then he’ll be doomed…Roman will make sure he’s nothing short of a good man,” she says with a laugh of her own. “He’ll watch him like a hawk.”
“Is that what he did with your brothers?”
Elena scoffs as if it’s obvious. “He still does. You should’ve seen him with Ivan when he was a teenager…any time he tried to bring a girl home, Roman would ‘chaperone’ them until she’d get uncomfortable and leave.”
Unable to help myself, I laugh at that—genuinely and unencumbered by everything else going on.
She sighs, but her smile lingers. “No wonder he acts the way he does now…But I know Roman will be smitten no matter what you have.”
Despite myself, those words bring a small swell of hope to my chest, and something in me hopes she’s right.
The way Elena glows with excitement over the pregnancy is beautiful to me, and I’m glad to have her to help lift my spirits. But even so, a new kind of pressure builds within my chest.
To her, the baby is an absolute miracle. To me, I still don’t know how to feel…which only exacerbates it all.
After meandering around the shops and picking up a few things for the baby that Elena wouldn’t let me leave without, we returned home, then she set off back to her place.
By the time I’m alone again, I feel tired all over from the sunshine and sharing too many smiles, but when I reach the bedroom for a nap, I pause.
Sticking out like a sore thumb, given how long I’ve been without one, a phone sits on my nightstand.
It’s not my old one, but this cell is new and sleek while it rests on the box.
Immediately, I know what it’s supposed to be. A gift.
The whisper of freedom, or perhaps a subtle thanks for being less combative with him. It’s a small thing, but the gesture weighs much heavier than I ever thought it would.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I reach for the phone and take it in. That familiar weight feels good again after going so long without my old one, and I find myself quick to unlock it.
While doing a short search, I find my old contacts transferred over, along with some new ones Roman took the liberty of adding for me.
But one catches my attention, and with a breath, I click on the name and bring the phone to my ear.
