Page 37 of The Disputed Legacy
He didn’t.
Remember?
He almost did, but he didn’t.
He was the one tricking me now. When he hugged me close and slanted lower, he was so clearly giving me the clues that he was looking for a kiss. At the last second, he’d shifted aside. But it was the principle of it all.
He hadwantedto kiss me.
That idea stuck with me all night, taunting me with erotic thoughts of what it would feel like to be kissed by him. To feel his lips on my skin, his hands caressing me.
His dick filling me.
Even though I understood that it was a normal thing any person could do, I still felt so naughty and guilty to ever pleasure myself. It was all I could do to take the edge off last night, though. Getting out my vibrator, I played with myself and tried to experiment a little further than I had before. I never wanted to feel “bad” by being so curious about sex. I never tried to talk myself out of exploring what I liked and didn’t care for. With the mental image of it being Saul fucking me instead of my vibe, I learned that I really liked the idea of him with me.
This morning, I woke up feeling restless and still needy despite masturbating to the memory of Saul almost kissing me.
Oscar wondered why I was grumpy, and I reassured him that I wasn’t, that I just… hadn’t slept well, and that was mostly the truth.
Because of how much Saul was on my mind, the day at the diner felt so much longer. Everything dragged, and I caught myself watching the clock more than usual.
I was counting down the time until Saul might show up tonight.
That settles it, then.
I was breaking my own rules about not dating. Saul had snuck under my radar, and he’d been so steady of a force of desire for a month now that I couldn’t convince myself to dismiss him.
Something about his almost kissing me and teasing me into thinking I could finally experience this new desire and lust with him was my undoing.
I couldn’t explain it.
I wasn’t sure I even wanted to.
We were supposed to just be friends, but as the minutes ticked over and brought me closer to when Saul would show up—hopefully—I figured I should just listen to my body for once and go with what felt right.
Oscar arrived after school, and he was the regular happy little boy that he always was. Seeing him brightened my mood. It didn’t erase this apprehension and nervousness to see Saul since I’d personally given myself permission to see where things would go between us. Nothing would calm me from this suspense. Only Saul coming here and giving me those wicked stares of desire could release me from missing him and longing for him.
Then he was there.
Walking in like usual, dressed in another expensive suit, his longish hair slightly unkempt in that way that made me want to run my fingers through it just to see if it was as soft and silky as it looked.
Yesterday, he was a mess. It prompted me to worry that he’d been hurt. Or if he didn’t just look like a bad boy but actually was one too. A certain lawlessness defined him, but I couldn’t tell whether it should scare me away or keep me intrigued.
Today, he looked fine. More than fine. With his dark-brown gaze sliding toward me, I relished the uptick in my pulse. I welcomed the now-familiar excitement. And I let my thoughts wander.
I’m going to kiss you tonight. A real one. My first one.
I didn’t care if it had to be excused as a “good night” kiss. If I looked at his lips any longer and failed to taste them, I would be bereft of pleasure for more than I could handle.
Denying myself wasn’t going to help me. Not when he had me so distracted and addicted to this possibility that I could be the apple of his eye.
And I refused to believe that it would be the end of the world if I caved. Just a little. For him.
“Hi,” he said once he strolled up to the booth where Oscar was seated, pulling out his homework and getting ready to start it all.
Oh, God.
It wasn’t fair how a simple two-letter word could make me so swoony. I did my best not to show it, clinging to my stubborn independence. His voice was just so rich and deep. His smile was so disarming and sexy.
