Page 74 of Prisoner of Darkness and Dreams
“How about trusting me when I say we shouldn’t pressure the dryads to bend their rules, especially when they’ve just agreed to help us?”
He catches my hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it.
“Alright. Point taken,” he murmurs against my skin. “Although it seems like a stupid rule to me.”
In the spirit of compromise, when we return to Diomi’s side, I ask the question.
“With respect, whycan’tthe prince join us?”
He hesitates, searching for the words.
“The ritual requires you to explore certain memories and focus on the emotions they bring up. It’s possible having someone present who is so…intertwinedwith Your Highness could distract you from the procedure.”
I nod, understanding. They’ve seen what Leon and I are to each other, and they think we’re too emotionally close for me to maintain focus if he’s with me. It’s a fair assumption, and I’m not going to argue with the dryads’ methods. They’re the healing experts after all. But I’m a little surprised when Leon doesn’t argue the point either, asking a totally different question.
“This ritual—is it dangerous?”
I hadn’t considered this. I’ve been too excited to get my magic back, and I feel a touch of uneasiness when Diomi once again weighs his response before answering.
“Frankly, that depends on Her Highness and how much she resists the ritual.”
I can’t think of any reason I’d fight the thing that’s going to restore my powers. But he didn’t sayifI resisted the ritual—he saidhow much. I’m more nervous than I let on when I turn to Leon.
“I’ll be okay,” I say. He gives me a look that tells me he sees right through me.
“Youwillbe,” he says. “Because the council aren’t going to let anything else happen to you.” He fixes an intimidating stare at Diomi. “Correct?”
The dryad stands a bit taller, clearly trying to stay strong under Leon’s withering gaze.
“If it ever looks like Her Highness is at risk of serious harm, I will stop the ritual,” he says.
Leon nods, though I see a muscle twitch in his jaw. It’s hard for him to accept this. He’s fighting all his instincts to let me descend those stepswithout him, and I’m grateful for his restraint—for his trust in me. I catch his eye and mouth the words “thank you” before following Diomi down to the temple’s entrance.
When we step inside the temple, I see exactly why we needed to travel underground. The tip of the gaidonesti might be in the bottom level of the hall, but Diomi explained yesterday that they stretch far below ground. Here, the dryads have excavated the earth around one of the stones, and an entire, sloping wall of the temple is made up of its shimmering surface.
The building has obviously been constructed to maximize contact with its power. A large altar is positioned directly beside the gaidonesti, surrounded by six dryads. Some I recognize from the council meeting. Others Diomi introduces as senior healers.
With each introduction, my nerves grow. I’m realizing what we’re about to do will be no easy task. Maybe I’ve known that all along, but I just didn’t want to face it before I had to.
“First, we will give you a potion that will heighten your ability to recall memories,” Diomi explains. “When you think of them, they will be more vivid and intense than usual. Then we’ll ask you to lie down on the altar and place your hand against the gaidonesti.”
I swallow, that familiar tension in my gut stirring. My memories have been what I’ve spent this whole time fighting to avoid. I was afraid that letting myself focus on them would break me, but now they’re going to come for me stronger than ever. I suppose if I’m going to risk facing them, it’s safest when surrounded by a bunch of healers. They at least might be able to stop me completely losing my mind.
“And then?” I ask, unable to keep the strain from my voice.
“Then you will need to revisit any experiences that may have depleted your celestial spark. In short, connect with your most traumatic memories. You will use the gaidonesti’s power to purify them. That should rob them of the ability to diminish your inner flame.”
“Purify?” I repeat, trying to picture what he’s describing.
“My guess is that it will appear like a fire, burning through the memory. But however you perceive it, you must let the celestial power flood theimages. After that, your inner flame should be able to light your darkest memories so they won’t smother your magic anymore.”
I take a deep breath, absorbing it all. The process doesn’t exactly sound pleasant, but like Diomi said, if I can just face those memories, I shouldn’t have a problem doing what they ask. Then my magic will be back. I hold onto that thought as I nod.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m ready.”
“We’ll be using our viatic power to try to connect with your body during this process—it should allow us to get some sense of what you’re experiencing,” Diomi says as one of the other dryads hands me the potion.
It’s a thick, bitter concoction with a strangely tart aftertaste, but it goes down easily enough. Then the dryads begin to conjure, chanting in old Agathyrian as they help me up onto the altar. I settle down on top of it and lay my hand on the surface of the gaidonesti. A fleeting thought comes to me, something about how this situation feels familiar…
