Page 99 of The Echo of Forever
Everything in sight became collateral damage until nothing was left but a heavy feeling of despair weighing on my shoulders.
“I don’t even know…”
What if…
I screamed at the same time Vanilla wrapped itself around me.
“Easy, my forever,” Demetrius whispered softly, holding me tightly from behind. “Easy, baby. Breathe for me.”
I tried to pull away from him, but my body wouldn’t cooperate.
Fuck. Fuck.Fuck!
How was I supposed to tell him?
It was all my fault.
And I can’t remember how I felt. Was I happy? Did I want kids?
How was I supposed to tell him?
“I can’t,” I whispered, trembling in arms I didn’t deserve. “Take me home, please.”
He didn’t press me for details as he guided me out. I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to see the concern in his eyes when I knew what I’d lost. What we’d lost.
I felt disconnected, like I was floating outside myself.
“My apartment,” I whispered, staring out the window as he drove us in the wrong direction. “I need some time alone.”
He gripped my thigh, but I refused to look at him.
“You can have time alone where I’m able to keep an eye on you, my forever. That’s in our building, not the one your parents own.”
I chose not to argue; there was no part of me that wanted to be at odds with him for wanting to take care of me. Instead, I blocked out what I learned as best I could and powered on my personal phone.
I turned it off after my conversation with Jayden the other morning. Only Carmen knew my whereabouts after we replaced my beacon with our personal trackers.
There were only so many days I could be away before things got a little shaky for her, and the window for that was closing quickly.
“No wonder I’m so broken,” I muttered, scrolling through my father’s threatening text messages. Then Kai’s, who wanted to cash in on his favor. A few from Carmen, reminding me to show my face soon. But nothing from my mom.
Mm.
The truck came to a hard stop, and Demetrius put his arm out to keep me from hitting the dashboard. He parallel parked and turned, but I glanced away before our eyes could meet.
“How long before you confide in me?” he asked. “This morning, you agreed to recommit. But now you want to be away from me, why?”
I started to type a message out to Carmen, but he snatched my phone and tossed it into the back seat.
“Fuck that phone, Forever. Talk to me.”
My eyes started to water, so I closed them.
He wasn’t going to let me wallow or push him away. But it wasn’t like I was strong enough to pull off the latter.
My clear obsession with this man had already locked itself in place inside my head. There was no such thing as giving him up, no matter how bad I wanted to make this about me and my shortcomings.
“Fuck everybody…” I aggressively wiped a tear away and finally looked at him. “They should all be dead, not our baby.”
