Page 165 of The Echo of Forever
“What makes you think I’ll have the patience for it?” she asked, moving toward the fire escape at the back of the building.
I followed, keeping my voice low as we descended the metal stairs.
“You’re the most mild-mannered person I’ve ever met. Besides that, you’re surrounded by a bunch of different personalities…” My boot hit the alley pavement, and then I continued. “Solei only knows what Everwood can produce.”
And that was the heart of it. Solei had never seen beyond our city’s borders, never understood that there were other ways to exist. She was trapped in the patterns Everwood had established for her.
We moved through the alley silently, emerging onto a side street where we’d parked our beat-up sedan.
“I’ll think about it,” Violet said as she stowed the rifle in the trunk.
It wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no either. From Violet, that was as good as I could hope for on the first ask. I nodded, satisfied for now.
As I pulled away from the curb, my mind drifted to Forever. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since morning.
Heading to you now, baby.
The second I stepped into our home, I knew something was off. I closed the door behind me and moved through the space quietly, finding exactly who I was looking for, but not how I expected to find her.
Forever was perched on the kitchen counter, staring at the gun in her hand. My heart stopped, then immediately kicked into overdrive when she lifted it, pressing the barrel to her temple. In that moment, I felt true panic for the first time in my life.
I knew she felt me there, felt my eyes on her, but she didn’t look up. Didn’t acknowledge me at all. Just kept staring at nothing while holding that gun to her head like it was the answer to questions I didn’t even know she was asking.
“What’s the matter, my forever?” I kept my voice soft as I moved toward her. “Why you want to leave me here alone?”
The words were selfish as fuck, I knew that. But I couldn’t help myself. My life meant nothing without her in it. She was the compass that kept me pointed true north, and the thought of losing her to her own hand tore me up inside worse than any bullet ever could.
“I don’t want to leave you,” she whispered. “But, how else can I make amends for what I don’t remember?”
And then it hit.
She must have talked to Quinn. Her mother had told me everything willingly. How a young Forever had befriended a scholarship girl at her elementary school. How she’d witnessed that same friend being violently raped when they were just ten years old. Quinn had gotten a call from the school saying they’d found Forever passed out behind the building and had just been sent to the hospital by ambulance. When she woke in the hospital the next night, she had no memory of what had happened.
The doctors diagnosed her with dissociative amnesia after she passed out during a hypnotherapy session at eleven. That’s when Quinn learned the truth, and, being off her meds at the time, she went into full protective mode.
It explained why Forever grew up never making friends outside of Carmen, who Quinn had specifically chosen for her. The two had known each other since they were in diapers, but weren’t pushed together regularly until just before Forever’s twelfth birthday.
What Quinn couldn’t explain was why she’d drugged Forever a couple of weeks back. But after telling me about Solomon’s trafficking ring, how she and other society wives had been working for years to dismantle it, I had a feeling it all connected back to him. All he’d been up to lately must have triggeredsomething in Quinn, made her fear for her daughter all over again.
“You know?” I asked carefully, not wanting to reveal more by accident and send Forever into a panic.
Or worse, have her pass out and wake with no memory of this moment, pushing us right back to the beginning.
Forever finally looked at me. Her eyes were red and swollen, and it broke my fucking heart.
“You… You…” She cried harder, using her free hand to wipe tears from her face while the other swung the gun around to point at me now. “You love me, right? Will you do it? I can’t pull the trigger. I never can.”
This woman… My wife. My fucking heart was in so much pain she wanted to die, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. Now she was asking me to do it for her. Like that wouldn’t destroy me, too.
I shook my head and closed the distance between us, gently wrapping my fingers around the barrel and pressing it to my own forehead.
“You can’t pull the trigger because you don’t want to die, baby,” I told her, holding her gaze. “But I can do it for you. I can die in your place as long as you never think about ending your life again. Promise me that and I’ll die right here for you.”
Something shifted in her gaze, and she jerked the gun back suddenly, eyes going wide before she completely broke down, collapsing against my chest with gut-wrenching sobs.
“I didn’t mean to,” she cried, gripping my shirt like it was the only thing keeping her from drowning. “I love you. I’m sorry.”
I wrapped my arms around her, feeling my own eyes grow wet at her despair. If only I could make it all go away.
