Page 79 of Kissed By the Gods
“We’re all exhausted, all the time. You still can’t sleep like that. I called your name five times. Shook you. Poked you with my sword.”
“You what?”
“Gently!” he says, throwing his hands up. “You think I’m reckless with sharp adamas before I’ve even had coffee?”
I groan and swing my legs over the side of the cot, water dripping off my shirt. Godsdammit. I’ve been in the barracks for nearly two months, and this is the first time I wasn’t the first one awake. With “you’re an abomination” Tyrston nearby, half the time I don’t think I sleep at all.
And, unfortunately, now that we know the Kher’zenn are hunting me, I’ve not been allowed to escape the barracks to go on any more patrols. Not until winter is finally here, though there’ve been no more attacks.
“You could’ve shaken me harder.”
“I did! You growled and rolled over. And then mumbled something about swimming in the darkness and Ryot and kissing?—”
“Leif!” I jump up on my tiptoes to slap my hand over his mouth, looking over his shoulder to find we’re the only ones left in the barracks. The heat of a flush spreads up my chest and my neck until it warms my cheeks. Sweet Serephelle, I had a sex dream about Ryot.
Leif smirks, taking a dramatic step back. “Sounded like a great dream. I wouldn’t want to wake up either.”
I grab at my holsters and my weapons, my hands clumsy, like they’re still swimming around in the darkness. I fumble the buckles—twice—before I get them latched. “You better hope I forget this by the time I’m holding a blade.”
He grins, already halfway to the door. “You’ll thank me when you’re not doing laps up Godswatch Peak for being late.”
“Wait—what day is it?”
“Weapons training,” he calls. “And if you don’t get all that—” he gestures broadly to the chaotic mess of me trying to strap on my scythe, half-dressed and still dripping wet, “—together in the next twenty seconds, we’re going to be very, very late.”
I curse under my breath, dragging on my boots. The holster strap refuses to buckle properly, so I give up and carry the damnscythe. Leif’s already out the door. By the time I catch up with him I’m a little out of breath, and Leif looks a lot more serious, the thrill of waking me up with a bucket of ice water apparently gone. The corridors are empty as we make our way toward the training grounds. We really are the last ones out.
“You know the part in your vows,” he starts, voice quieter now, more careful, “about forsaking your family?”
“Yeah,” I say dryly. “I think I remember the part where I bind my life to the gods and give up everything I’ve ever loved or wanted. That bit really sticks with you.”
He flushes a little, but nods. “Right, well. About that.”
His eyes skirt to me before he looks forward again, avoiding my gaze. “The Synod doesn’t mean forsaking your past family. They mean forsakinganyfamily—past, present, or future.”
I crinkle my brow a little in confusion. Any kind of family is the last thing on my mind. I’m not exactly daydreaming about little scythe-wielding toddlers.
“So?” I ask him.
He clears his throat awkwardly but stops. He looks down at the floor, his cheeks flushed. This must be serious if he’s going to risk being late.
“Altor aren’t allowed to have relationships,” he says. “We’re not allowed the distractions of anything serious, of anything …emotional.”
I frown. “Okay. I wasn’t exactly planning to settle down and raise goats, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“That’s not what I’m getting at,” he says, and finally looks at me. “You’ve been spending time with Ryot.”
“Well, yeah. He’s my master.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.”
I flush now, because I do. I don’t want to talk about it. I open my mouth, then close it.
“Leina, I’m not judging. But Iamwarning you.”
“I don’t need?—”
“Yes. Yes, you do.” His voice is firmer now. “Look, you wouldn’t be the first two to couple off. But I don’t think it’s an easy life. And if something were to happen between you two—something real—it wouldn’t end in anything good. Not for you. Not for him.”
