Page 57 of Wilder Puck
He shakes his head. “No. No, I would never regret any of this.”
Ryan looks like a fraction of himself right now. His eyes are full of guilt. His tone of voice and body language are screaming guilt.
I say, “Neither would I.”
“Okay, so let’s talk before I–” He glances down at my mouth. “Kiss you again.”
I blush, walking to the couch. “Come on, let’s sit.”
He sits next to me after I pat the couch, but I can tell he doesn’t want to sit right now.
I blow out a shaky breath. “I'm scared. Terrified, actually.”
He takes a careful glance at me. “Of me?”
“No.” The denial bursts out of me. “Neverofyou. I'm scared of this. Like I messed it all up by suggesting we…you know…”
Understanding dawns on his face, chased by a flicker of relief. “Baddie,” he breathes. “You haven’t messed anything up.”
“Yet,” I whisper, hating the fear in my voice. “I'm not good at this, Ry. In relationships, at being someone's girlfriend. I've never...I've never had anything real, and we’re really good at being friends. Best friends. That doesn’t mean we’re going to be good together.”
It costs me to admit it, to lay my fears bare like this. But that kiss outside was a lot more than a practice kiss. It was needy like he’s been longing for it. And I don’t think I can take another kiss without having this conversation.
Ryan's expression goes soft and a little sad. He reaches for me, slowly enough that I could dodge him if I wanted. I don't. I let him take my hand, let him twine our fingers together.
“Baddie.Addison,” he says, so gently it makes my throat tight. “I've never had something real either. You think I know what the hell I'm doing here? I'm just as terrified of fucking this up as you are.”
I blink at him, surprised. “You…are?”
“Girl, I'm shaking in my skates.” He smirks. “You're...God, Baddie, you are…you’re incredibly badass, you’re smart, beautiful, witty, and you’re…my best friend. The thought of ruining what we have? It keeps me up at night.”
I glance at our hands, feeling the heat between our palms. I’m already sweating. “I––really?” I turn my head to look him in the eye.
He nods at me with gentle eyes.
I swallow. “Then we’re on the same page.”
He tugs me closer, resting his forehead against mine. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.”
I smile, staring into his eyes. He’s no longer filled with guilt. His expression has softened, and he’s waiting for permission to kiss me. I can see it in his eyes.
He tucks my hair behind my ear and whispers, “The same page.”
“That kiss back there didn’t seem like practice.”
His nose grazes mine. “I couldn’t control myself. You just looked so cute.”
I press my lips against his. He kisses me back, grabbing my neck with one hand and my waist with the other. I melt into him.
He whispers between kisses, “I… don’t want… to be friends-with-benefits… anymore.”
I kiss his neck as I crawl onto his lap.
He licks my collarbone. He whispers, “We’re done doing that, okay?”
His lips against my neck tickle with every word he says.
“Addison.” He grabs my face to look at him. I can’t help but rock my hips.
