Page 85 of Wilder Puck
“I'd like that,” I say, meaning it. “Actually, I know the perfect place. I’ll send you the address.”
We say our goodbyes and I hang up, exhaling a shaky breath. That wasn’t the advice I was hoping to get, but sometimes a third-person perspective is all someone needs. I’m relieved to have reconciled with my dad, but I still don’t know what I’m going to do about Ryan Wilder.
My goalie, my favorite flavor, the China Wall, my man. I have a decision to make, and the time is ticking. It’s either I stay mad, or I learn to forgive.
Chapter 26
I pace back and forth across the living room, my phone pressed tightly to my ear as I try to keep the rising panic out of my voice. “She's not home yet, Mav. It's past ten o'clock and she's still gone.”
Chase says, “I don't know, man. She probably just needs some time to process everything.”
I scoff, running a hand through my hair for the hundredth time. “She has nowhere else to go. What if something happened to her? What if she's out there somewhere, hurt or lost or–”
“Hey, hey, slow down,” Chase cuts in, his tone calm. “Let's not jump to worst-case scenarios. Have you tried the coffee shop? Maybe she went there.”
I stop short, feeling like an idiot. Of course. The coffee shop. Why didn't I think of that?
“Fuck, you're right. I should go check–”
“Hold on,” Chase interrupts again. “I think Colt is out right now. I'll shoot him a text and have him swing by Baddie Addie’s. You stay put in case Addie comes home, okay?”
I deflate, sinking down onto the couch cushions. “Okay. Yeah, okay. Thanks, Mav.”
“Anytime, bro. Keep your head up. She'll be back.”
We hang up and I drop my phone onto the coffee table, burying my face in my hands. God, this is all my fault. I knew this would blow up in my face eventually, but I never thought or imagined she'd walk out on me like that.
Then again, maybe I should have seen it coming. It's not the first time she's run when things got too heavy between us. I think back to that night after a game, the night we cuddled and I let myself hope, just for a moment, that she might feel something real for me. She'd bolted then too, leaving me confused and aching in ways I didn't fully understand.
And then, mere weeks later, she was in my arms again. Telling me she loved me, that she'd always loved me. It was everything I'd ever wanted to hear, a dream come true. But now…
Now I'm wondering if I pushed too hard again. If I scared her off with the intensity of my feelings, the desperate depth of my need for her.
I know Addie, know how independent she is. How hard it is for her to let anyone in, to accept help or comfort or love. And here I am, bulldozing through her carefully constructed walls like a goddamn wrecking ball.
I groan, tipping my head back against the couch cushions. I'm an idiot. A well-meaning, hopelessly in-love idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.
My phone buzzes with an incoming text and I lunge for it, hope flaring bright and hot in my chest. But it's just Colton, confirming what I already feared.
Colton: She's not here.
The three little words hit me like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind right out of me. If she's not there, then where the hell is she?
Horrible scenarios start playing out in my head like some kind of sadistic highlight reel. Addie lost and alone, crying in her car, too upset to drive. Addie in a hospital bed, broken and bleeding and calling out for me.
I shoot to my feet, unable to sit still a second longer. I start pacing again, spiraling deeper and deeper into my own dark thoughts.
This is all my fucking fault. I knew, Iknewhiding the truth from her was a mistake. But I did it anyway, too chickenshit to have an honest conversation with the woman I claim to love more than my own life.
And for what? To spare her pride? To avoid a fight? To keep her from running again, like she did the last time I let my feelings show too clearly?
Selfish. I was so fucking selfish. Putting my own fears and insecurities above her. God, no wonder she can't stand to be around me right now.
I'm halfway to the front door, keys in hand, when I hear it. The soft jingle of a key in the lock, the creak of hinges.
“Addie?” I breathe, hardly daring to believe it.
But there she is, standing in the doorway with red puffy eyes on her beautiful face. My heart cracks right down the middle at the sight.
