Page 63 of Starlight and the Duke
“But—”
“No, a few short days with me in your bed does not count. I don’t even want to contemplate what Shoreham did or did not do with you in all the years of your marriage. I know he was good to you, and I am not faulting him for any of this situation. But he was not all that capable in bed, and may not…”
Gad, did he dare say it?
He sighed. “I have no idea if the two of you were doingitright.”
This only made her cry harder.
Well done, Durham. Make her feel worse, why don’t you?
“What I am trying say, rather ineptly, is…you need to giveusmore of a chance, Fiona. One week is nothing. Give us several years to see if this can work.”
“Living together unmarried?”
“Do not give me that it-is-sinful look. You know I would marry you this very day if you were willing. My offer of marriageremains open and shall remain so until you are ready to accept me.”
She let out a breath. “You know I cannot.”
“Do not start that discussion again,” he said, trying to hold back his frustration. “That choice is mine to make, not yours. The world will not stop if my title is extinguished. The lands attached to the title will revert to the Crown. But everything else I own, the mines, the mills, the ships, the funds, are mine to leave as I wish. I am going to protect those who rely on me to the best of my ability. And who is to say the Crown will not pass on the grant of title to someone else who is brave and worthy?”
He kissed the top of her head and continued in a gentler voice. “Enough, Fiona. Give me your hand in marriage. It is the only way the two of us will ever be happy. Forget about giving me another three days or another week or even another year. We need to give each other a lifetime together as husband and wife.”
“You will grow to despise me once you realize we can never have children.”
“I could never despise you.”
“Resent me, then.”
“Nor resent you, because it would be my choice and I am agreeing to this commitment with full knowledge of the risks and possibilities.”
“Maybe I should give us a year to see this through,” she said in a hesitant whisper. “It will be time enough for you to realize the futility of this situation.”
Or time enough for her to realize they were meant to be together.
He pounced on the comment, afraid she might take it back in the next breath. “Yes, a year would be good.”
Hallelujah.He’d grab whatever he could.
This was what he needed, time for her to learn to put her own desires first and cease bending over backward to accommodatewhat she perceived ashisduty to the Crown and the Durham title.
Whether her aching desire for children would be fulfilled was up to the Fates. Of course he wanted children. But he wantedtheirbright-eyed offspring.
He would still love her and cleave to her no matter what the future held.
The choice was an easy one for him, since he had always been in love with her. He did not want the typicaltonmarriage his parents had entered into. Those two were happiest apart from each other. What was the point of marrying if they made each other miserable?
Also, he was proud of Fiona and refused to have her appear as lesser in anyone’s eyes. He would not insult her by having rumors swirl that she was his mistress. She deserved to be held in the highest regard, and that would only happen if she were his wife and duchess.
“A year seems an awfully long time,” she mused as her tears abated and she began to look at him with clearer eyes.
“It will fly by too quickly,” he insisted.
She sniffled yet again.
“We deserve this chance, Fiona. What have we got to lose? And we might gain everything,” he reminded her, unwilling to allow her to withdraw her decision. “What is one short year out of our entire lives?”
“I know. Still, it is scary, isn’t it?”
