Page 49 of Cherish and the Duke
He glanced around and saw none of the others who had been cheering her on yesterday. “You came out here alone?”
She nodded against his chest.
“Why, Cherish?” He was kneeling beside her and rather liked cradling her in his arms. She did not seem to mind, either, for she was comfortably nestled in them.
She placed her hand on his chest as she tried to get up again, but he stopped her once more. “Give it a moment longer. I wish you had waited for me. I would have accompanied you out here.”
“No, I had to do this on my own. I felt so cowardly yesterday.”
“Why? No one thought less of you for your struggles.”
“I hate being this way, feeling so helpless and weak. I thought to approach Sugar and work my way up to riding her. Not that I consider myself brave enough to ride her yet,” she said with a wincing laugh. “But I wanted to give her a little hay and have a talk with her. I even brought a few apples along for a special treat for her. It sounds ridiculous, I know.”
“Not at all. I think it is quite admirable of you.”
“Hardly. I was determined to have Sugar like me and was ready to bribe her to accomplish it. The apples spilled out of my basket. Oh, and the basket is crushed, too.”
“Never mind about those. They are easily replaced. You are not.”
She nodded. “You and Lady Albin ride so effortlessly. I wish I could do the same.”
“It doesn’t matter whether you ever do or not, Cherish. No one will like you any less for your lack of horsemanship. It is nothing compared to all your other fine qualities.”
She snorted. “You needn’t flatter me simply because I took a dive in the dirt.”
“I’m not. Can you not see you are a favorite at this party? Those little peahens adore you, and several gentlemen of excellent character have also taken an interest in you.”
“Oh, really?” She laughed.
“Yes, really. What about Reggie? Or Lord Fellstone? They have both been quite attentive to you.”
“Perhaps.” She gave a slight shrug, as though to dismiss his statement. “Are you ready to tell me your long story? How are you in any way to blame for Lady Albin’s actions?”
“Is it so hard to figure out?”
“No, I suppose not. She wishes to revive your friendship and for some reason thinks I am standing in her way.”
He lifted her in his arms to carry her to the manor house. “Do not protest. You were badly shaken, and I will not have you falling again.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. To Gawain, it felt as though she belonged with him, her body soft and perfect as it molded to his. “Why does she think I am standing in her way?”
“In her mind, it is easier to blame you than admit to her own failings. She refuses to see that it is her own character I find unworthy. She was angry when I told her so. I spelled it out quite plainly.”
“This is a reason to runyoudown with her horse, but why me? Lady Albin clearly does not like me. It is one thing to sneer at me, but quite another to put me in physical danger. Is there something more you are not telling me?”
He sighed. “I suppose she knows I admire you above any other young lady here. This is why she is worried you are hercompetition. It is beyond her abilities to accept that I will never have her under any circumstances. That door shut when she married Lord Albin. She refuses to admit any of the past is her fault and places the blame everywhere but on herself.”
“Do you still love her?”
“No, Cherish. I meant it when I said that I stopped caring for her long ago. Even if I were still besotted—which I assure you, I am not—her behavior since arriving here, especially that dirty trick she pulled just now, would have opened my eyes to her petty nature. But I was already aware. A betrayal is a betrayal. Once trust is lost, there is no reclaiming it.”
“You will never trust her again?”
He nodded. “How can I? This applies to anyone, not just Lady Albin. This is what I am trying to teach Reggie, to acquire that ability to sense a person’s character. To know who will deceive him and who will not.”
“And once deceived, teach him never to forgive?”
“Cherish, people don’t change. If they lied to you once, they will do it again.”
