Page 36 of Cherish and the Duke
“Cherish, stop thinking about her.” He could tell by the nibbling on her lip and the expression on her face that she was troubled. Why could she not let Katie’s reappearance in his life pass without additional comment?
She grimaced as he led her into another sweeping turn. “Please don’t be angry with me, but I must get this out.”
“Don’t. You have no idea what I am thinking.”
“But isn’t this entirely the point? You are very good at hiding your thoughts, and I am worried they might lead you in the wrong direction. Are you hoping to resume your acquaintance with her? Do you think you can resist her wiles now that you are older and wiser? It is not so. You will be burned by her, just as you were the first time.”
He ought to have been irritated by her meddling, but she appeared to be sincerely worried about him, and he could not find it in himself to growl at her. “Do you think I do not know this?”
“What I think is that you might be too confident because women so easily fall at your feet.”
“Stop, Cherish. Most of them ignored me until I became a duke.”
“I cannot imagine anyone ever ignoring you.”
“Well, perhaps they were attracted to me, but they were never going to marry the third son of a duke. Encourage a dalliance, yes. But there was never a doubt any of them would choose what they thought was the more secure path for marriage.”
“Which is what Lady Albin did. Are you bitter about it?”
“I do not forgive easily, if this is what you mean.”
“You did not strike me as the sort who would. Honesty is very important to you. How hurtful it must have been to lose the one you loved with all your heart.”
“I did not love her with all my heart.” He shrugged. “Perhaps at the time it felt that way, but I got over her long ago.”
“But you kept yourself off the Marriage Mart.”
“Only because I was never interested in marrying for purposes of a business arrangement, and that is the primary purpose of that elegant meat market. However, I did not shun all events. I went to the elegant balls and fashionable soirees.Dinner parties, musicales. The theater. Occasional house parties such as this one,” he added with a wry grin.
“Still, you were not open to courting another. Are you sure it was not because you remained in love with Lady Albin? I understand completely how difficult it is to get over someone you care about. Aren’t I the same? Stupidly trying to hold on to my childhood memories of Northam Hall and hardly protesting as I was slowly turned into little more than a servant? I was stuck being true to my heart when I ought to have been more mercenary and looked out for myself. Is it not terrible? I was stuck on athing, not even a person.”
He could not help casting her an affectionate smile. “This is what I like best about you, that soft and sentimental heart of yours.”
“It is awful,” she said with a shake of her head. “I shall condemn myself to a life of misery under Lord Northam’s tight fist if I do not change my ways. I don’t think it was easy for you to move on, either. It isn’t easy for me, and I came to this party not in love with anyone.”
“And now?”
“I have not even been kissed yet. How am I to know what I should or should not be feeling? But I think when I fall in love it shall be once and always. How does one move on from this?”
“Do not look to me for an answer. Apparently, you believe I have done a terrible job of it. But I have moved on, and so shall you.”
She regarded him with a tender expression that wrapped around his heart. “Your Grace, I know you believe you are in full control of your feelings. You certainly hide them far better than I have ever done. But I do not think you have quite moved on from Lady Albin.”
“Is that so? If you are able to see through me so well, then tell me what else I am thinking.”
“I am not very good at reading people when it comes to matters of love because I have no experience with it. But your outward calm does not fool me. I know you are in turmoil. Please do not make any rash decisions. You must think things through before renewing your acquaintance with Lady Albin. You have come a long way since your days as a third son and are now one of the elite, sought-after Silver Dukes. But this does not mean your heart is impenetrable.”
They took another spin in time to the music. “Oh, I’ve done a fairly good job of building up those thick walls.”
“You may think she is safe because you do not have to marry her. Is this not the appeal of widows such as Lady Albin? But you cannot carry on a liaison with someone like her.”
He liked Cherish and always enjoyed listening to hear her thoughts, but not about this. “I am not a little boy who needs to be warned to protect his manhood.”
She emitted a shaky breath. “She will eat your soul.”
He laughed.
“I am serious. Everyone thinks you have ice in place of a heart, but you don’t. You have a wonderfully caring heart that will not behave according to your will. Hearts never do what you want them to do. I just don’t want yours to betray you.”
