Page 45 of The Moonstone Hero
“You are right. See, I am just being silly about everything.”
She tried to walk ahead of him into the cave, wanting to hide her embarrassment. She had been too honest with him and probably made him uncomfortable. Why could she not have kept her mouth shut and simply enjoyed the day?
Caden would not let go of her hand. “Careful, Ella. It gets dark quickly in these caves. Stay close to me. We mustn’t go too far in, because I only have this lantern and a bit of chalk to mark our path. The chalk can easily wash off. I don’t want us getting lost. As for your not being enough for me, that is utter nonsense. I’ve never met anyone who would suit me so perfectly as you.”
She laughed.
“No, really. Everyone who meets you is immediately charmed and adores you. There is no artifice about you, no guile or manipulation. You put everyone at ease. You go out of your way to be kind and welcoming, and are completely sincere in all you do. Even when you berate me, you are still achingly gentle. You cannot bear to hurt me.”
“Why would I ever want to hurt you?”
He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. “You wouldn’t. This is what makes you so special. There is not a cruel bone in your body. Believe me, you are the perfect balance for an arrogant arse like me. As for marriage—”
She groaned. “Oh, I had no right to bring it up.”
“You had every right. In fact, it has been on my mind ever since we shared that supper dance last year. Ella, I never forgot you,” he said with a raw ache that wrapped around her heart and squeezed it tight. His depth of feeling was evident in the strong angles of his face and in his dark eyes that looked fiery in the golden lantern light bouncing along the cave walls.
She wanted to hug him, but dared not move or breathe, dared not do anything to break the spell of this moment.
“You were always in my dreams and in my thoughts. But marriage is a lifetime commitment, especially the way you and I view it. I know you will keep to your wedding vows. Honor thy husband. Be faithful. You are too sweet and honest to do otherwise. I would do the same, promise to love and cherish you. I don’t want a business alliance. I want a woman I respect to share my bed, to curl up against my body on cold nights and seek my warmth.”
Ella listened as he bared his soul.
“I want a woman who will listen to my concerns and give her honest opinion.”
“Well, I would certainly never lie to you.”
“I know,” he said with conviction. “You would always be my safe harbor, a safe place to let down my guard. I want a woman who will bear my children and raise them with love. Who else but you would fit that role? Do you know what I thought when I first laid eyes on you?”
She shook her head. “I have no idea.”
“That you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. In fact, too beautiful to be real. I could not stop staring at you.”
This admission genuinely surprised her. “You were very discreet about it. I did not think you noticed me at all.”
“I could not take my eyes off you. I looked for you at every affair. Even though you never wore much jewelry, you sparkled so brightly. People were right to call you a diamond. You were one. You still are.”
“Caden, I had no idea you felt this way. Why did you not tell me?”
“I wanted to, sometimes. Especially after seeing you here. I thought I was dreaming when you walked into my hospital room.Ella.My beautiful Ella. I was sure I was delirious and hadtaken too much laudanum. I believed I had made you up in my dreams.”
“I was quite real.”
He nodded. “There is so much I have been wanting to say to you.”
“But something always holds you back.”
“My anger, Ella. There is still so much of it in me. I will likely do something stupid to make enemies of powerful people, because I am still a brash arse who does not know how to curb his tongue. I know I have to restrain my temper, but it is easier said than done.”
“Just keep your attention fixed on the important goals. Think of all you can do to help those injured soldiers and their families.”
“It is always on my mind. But you know me better by now, don’t you?”
She smiled at him. “Yes, I do. You can be a monumental clot.”
He laughed. “Precisely.”
He led her deeper into the cave, along a passageway that opened into a large cavern. “This must be where the pirates kept their smuggled goods,” he said.
