Page 40 of The Moonstone Hero
“Yes.” She placed her hands on the table and clasped them together. “I suppose it makes more sense for you to be free to do whatever you need to do.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
She said nothing, just appeared disappointed.
He sighed. “What I need is you, Ella. Whether you are with me or not, I would carry you in my heart. Even if I received a thousand letters propositioning me, my answer would always be the same. No. I do not want a night with some meaningless stranger. I want to build a lifetime with you.”
Her eyes widened.
“I knew it after we shared the supper dance last year.” Why was he telling her this? He was not ready to make a commitment to her. Yet he could not find the strength to pull away. What a confused arse he was. “I felt it acutely when you popped back into my life here in Moonstone Landing. But I am not asking you to marry me.”
“Oh.”
“I still have to deal with my grandfather. And I do not know if I can hold back my temper when dealing with those officious government prigs. So anything serious romantically is out of the question for now.”
She looked hurt.
Of course, only he could foul up a declaration of love with such efficiency. He ought to have kept his stupid mouth shut and not said anything to her yet. Why mention marriage when he was going to shoot down the idea in his next breath? “Sorry, Ella. You know I am an arse.”
She nodded. “And you keep proving it. Caden, you are as insufferable and irritating as ever. Even when you spend the daybehaving as everyone’s magnificent hero, you still find a way to rile me. There is one thing you and I must do before you leave here.”
“I don’t suppose that one thing has to do with you and me and clothes flying off.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she said, appearing not to be offended, since she was shaking her head and chuckling. “It has to do with moonlight and a dark, clear night. We have to stand on a hillside overlooking the cove and watch for moonstones. If they shimmer, I will wait for you forever.”
“And if they do not?”
“Then it will mean you do not love me.”
He frowned. “Ella, I do not think that is possible. If they do not shine for us, it could meanyoudo not love me.”
She shook her head. “No, Caden. I have not been able to get you out of my heart ever since we shared that supper dance. See, you were not the only one affected by it. Why do you think I have been rejecting every marriage proposal?”
“For me, Ella?” Lord, he was dense not to have realized it.
“Yes. I meant to hold out for you until all hope was lost.”
Therein lay the tragedy of it.
Would it be too late for them by the time he finished doing all he needed to do? What if it took years?
How long before she gave up on him and moved on?
Chapter Eight
Ella had beentrying very hard to shelter her heart, but it was a losing proposition. Caden had a way of melting her resistance. Yet he never quite came out and said he loved her or wanted to marry her. Quite the opposite—he went out of his way to remind her that he had no intention of marrying her now.
Or was it that he had no intention ofevermarrying her?
He used words likeforeverandonly you. However, there was always a condition attached to his declarations. He had to speak to his grandfather. He had to deal with his superiors and government officials. He had to complete his “hero” tour.
More telling was what he did not say. He did not come out straightforwardly and say he loved her. He did not resolve to speak to Uncle Cormac about wanting to marry her. Well, she supposed he had been clear about that. Marriage was out. Not that her uncle was the one responsible for giving consent. No, that was for her father to do. But her parents were in London and would not arrive in Moonstone Landing until it was time to bring her and Imogen home. Caden would be gone by then.
“Ella, I am going to bring my drawing pad and pencils with me for our outing,” Imogen said, shaking Ella out of her thoughts as she helped her into her riding habit, a moss-green velvet that fit her to perfection and brightened the green of her eyes.
“That is a lovely idea.” In turn, Ella helped Imogen into her riding outfit, which was a stunning forest-green velvet.
The two of them shared a bedchamber at Westgate Hall, her Uncle Cormac’s large home at the western end of Moonstone Landing’s cove. They could have taken separate rooms, for there were plenty of guest chambers available. But she and Imogen shared quarters in their London home and saw no reason to do otherwise here.
