Page 32 of The Moonstone Hero
“I think you have a lot to work through, Lord Mersey. About Ella and your year in West Africa. I hope you will see your way to talking to me or one of my brothers-in-law, the Marquess of Burness or the Duke of Malvern, over the next few days.”
“Ella filled me in on her family tree when I first arrived here. I am well aware of her connections.”
“Good, then let us know whenever you are ready to talk to us.” Fionn was not much older than Caden but certainly carried himself with authority. An authority coupled with confidence and probably a hard-earned wisdom. “You claim you are not a hero, Lord Mersey.”
“I’m not.”
“But enemy soldiers do not simply let their captives go free after a battle such as yours. However, they will honor a warriorthey believe has shown outstanding valor. This is what they must have thought of you. It is obvious to me, so do not bother to deny it. Do you know why they felt this way about you?”
Caden nodded.
“Care to share the reason?”
“No.”
“Very well. However, those generals and perhaps even your grandfather will be here within the next two weeks, and they will want answers. This inevitable confrontation is going to be a bloody mess unless you give thought to what you are going to tell them. Be smart about it, Lord Mersey. You can turn this situation to your advantage. You just have to get out of your own stubborn way and work out a sensible plan.”
“Duly noted,” Caden said, silently hoping for the conversation to end.
But Major Brennan was not yet done with him. “I grew up on the London streets, abandoned—or so I thought—and dumped in an orphanage at birth. I had to run away when I was a mere child or else I would have died being put to work as a chimney sweep’s monkey. So I made the choice to risk living on the streets. Life out there is not easy for a child.”
“How did you work your way up to where you are now?” Caden asked.
“The very man who plucked me off the streets and gave me an education turned out to be the one who had been betraying me all along. But my point is, I could have wallowed in my rage and spent my life resentful. I could have given up everything good to punish the family who cheated me out of my birthright. I also could have resigned my commission and never worked another day in my life once the House of Lords recognized my claim to the title and the entailed properties that came with it. But I am no gentleman, and I knew I could contribute so much more to those who needed my help if I stayed on and saw thishospital built. I did allow myself one reward, and that was to marry the woman I had always loved. The only woman I will ever love, Lady Chloe Killigrew.”
“It isn’t quite the same,” Caden said. “I appreciate how hard a time you had as a child.”
“No, you will never understand what it was like. The nightly terrors. The starvation. The constant desperation. The friends who died and those who were caught and tossed into prison just for trying to take enough scraps of food to live. Nor will I be able to fully appreciate what you went through. All I am saying is, turn that rage toward something productive. The men who died fighting alongside you need you to make something worthwhile of their sacrifice. Decide on whatever it is you think will help most, but do it. Mouthing off might give you a momentary satisfaction, but what then? You will lose the opportunity to do something significant for those who need your leadership and voice most.”
Bollocks.
Caden hated to agree with the man. Was his suggestion not better than behaving like a wild ape and tossing furniture in frustration?
“All right. Message received, Major Brennan.”
Fionn rose. “My door is always open to you should you wish to talk.”
“Thank you.” Caden meant it sincerely.
“The Marquess of Burness will likely stop in to see you in the next day or two.”
“Because of Ella?”
“Partly, but this is mostly about you.”
He watched the major stride off to engage with the wounded men brought to his hospital. The man was a natural leader.
So was he, Caden realized.
Was this not a major part of his agony? His men had trusted him. They had followed him without complaint into a looming massacre. Even as they were dying all around him, not one of them ever questioned his wisdom or the cause for which they were about to lose their lives.
But he had failed them.
What could he have done differently?
Refused to follow orders? Yes, he could have done that and been court-martialed. Another officer would have taken his place. His men would still have been sent off to die. And he would have lived on in disgrace.
That was never a choice for him. He was never going to abandon his men. He’d fought fiercely by their side, fought and fully expected to die alongside them.
