Page 41 of The Moonstone Governess
“A small part of it for now, but yes. I am not going to do anything to interfere with your governess duties for my nephew, or having my mother comfortably settled here. I don’t know what will happen between us. Quite possibly nothing, because I still need to change many things about my life. I’ve sent myharemaway, but who is to say I will not change my mind in a month and bring them back?”
“I will never respect you if you do.”
“I know, little dove. If it is any consolation, I do not expect I will ever ask them back. It would be a sign of my failure if I did.”
She shook her head. “I think you are capable of commitment, since you take your duties as duke quite seriously. You also provide generously for your family, I expect. It is not commitment so much as trust that is your stumbling point. Trusting someone with your heart, that is the difficulty. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable. What happened to you? Why is your heart so ravaged?”
He gave a short, bitter laugh. “I wanted to find out more about you, and here you are trying to draw out the secrets of my soul.”
“Is it not relevant? I think there is a lot to learn about you, Your Grace.”
He shook his head. “Daire.”
She sighed. “Yes, Daire. Any other questions you wish to ask me?”
“So you can turn the tables on me and get me talking more about my life? No, little dove. This is enough for today. But I will have lots of questions for you throughout the coming days. This is not the last conversation you and I are going to have.”
“If you say so,” she said with a soft laugh. “My life is not that complicated. Nor is it very deep or particularly filled with turmoil. I can tell you all of it in under five minutes.”
“I’m sure it will take much longer than that. You almost drowned as a child. How did this incident affect you?” He had not meant to ask more questions now, but neither of them seemed eager to move away from the other, and he really did want to know more about her.
She thought she had little to offer, but this was not true.
She pursed her lips yet again in that kissable way as she pondered his question. “I will own that it was the most frightening experience of my life. I haven’t gone in the water since that day. Cara reacted similarly. We are both deathly afraid of drowning, although she will go in now if her husband is beside her and holding tightly to her. But she will never go in alone. Nor will I. I suppose it is ridiculous, because this is a seaside village and our lives revolve around the sea.”
Tears formed in her eyes, but she hastily wiped them away. “However, fear of drowning is not what guides my life. It was Captain Arundel’s heroic actions that had the strongest impact on me. He sacrificed his life to save ours. He did not even hesitate to do this brave thing. This is why it is so important for me to honor him by doing something worthy with my life. This is what I have been striving for, and it has shaped me more than anything else, not some silly fear of water.”
Daire took out his handkerchief and handed it to her so she could dab away her tears as they threatened to fall. “That is quite a story. It is powerful, Brenna.”
“I knew in that moment I had to do something meaningful,” she said, her lips trembling as she struggled to maintain her composure. “Captain Arundel had given us all a second chance. This is why I sought to become a teacher, to add value to the lives of others.”
“You have, little dove. I’m sure you inspired every girl you taught.”
“I hope so. I tried… But Albert has now taken this meaningful thing away from me, hasn’t he?” She sniffled and turned away. “Well, I have to find out what really happened. It is not fair of me to leap to any conclusions. I need to gather all the facts.”
Daire wanted to put his arms around Brenna, but thought better of it. Everyone was watching them and must have seen her dabbing at her tears. Now they would be wondering what oafish thing he had said to make her cry.
He moved to the opposite side of the gazebo while she composed herself. It was not a large enclosure, and he was still within easy reach of her. But he understood now why she was such an earnest thing, determined to do good in the world.
In truth, he was quite proud of her. He could not think of a better way to honor the man who had saved her life.
What had he ever done to honor those who had sacrificed for him? Absolutely nothing.
Brenna was teaching young ladies to think for themselves and find their strengths. He was romping in bed with sexually active debutantes, bored widows, and unhappily married wives.
No wonder he had become disgusted with himself.
Perhaps this was why he was so fascinated with Brenna.
There was a depth to her that he had not seen in other women. Certainly never in the spoiled and poutytondiamonds he had seduced.
Gad, he hadn’t even needed to seduce them. Women flocked to him of their own accord. He had only to choose whom he wanted for the evening…or the ten minutes in a shadowed alcove if he only had time for something quick.
He could fall in love with someone like Brenna. He did not give a fig about the scandal it would create among theton.
Still, he dismissed the notion. It was too soon to make that dramatic leap. What was he thinking? Well, clearly he was not thinking carefully.
The summer season was hardly underway. They would have plenty of time to get to know each other over the coming weeks.
