Page 75 of The Moonstone Major
The kindling was damp from the water-soaked air and took a little longer to start burning. But he soon had the fire going and tossed a few more logs on to keep it ablaze. He then filled the kettle, but set it aside on the table instead of putting it on the stove.
He was going to leave that for Chloe to do once he taught her how to light the stove. He would then have her tend to the kettle and set out cups for tea. Before doing that, however, he went to the larder, took out the pot of stew Mrs. Hawke had prepared for tonight’s meal, and hung it over the hearth fire to warm.
Chloe had followed him down, but remained in the doorway just watching him move about the kitchen.
He glanced at her and saw her eyes tear up.
Blast.
Had he been too hard on her?
Now she felt awful because she regarded herself as a pampered princess. Well, shehadbeen pampered, but it had not given her an ugly nature. She was not haughty or spoiled, as many of those of her rank were. In fact, she was kind and generous, and had made him feel welcomed from the moment they had met.
He did not think less of her because she did not know her way about a kitchen.
“This is why you loathe the idea of marrying me,” she said in a ragged whisper.
“Chloe…never.” She truly made him ache. “Come on, I’ll teach you how to boil water. Are you still willing to learn?”
She nodded.
“Let me roll up your shirt sleeves first. They are too long on you and dangling. I don’t want them to fall into the flames when you light the stove. You also want to keep your hair tied back so that the ends don’t accidentally catch fire.” She was such a pretty thing, with big eyes and long, silky hair. She had an earnest expression on her face, and he saw how much she wanted to gain his approval.
She had it, of course.
He thought she was wonderful and had so many fine qualities. That she had no experience in a kitchen did not diminish her in any way.
But he had made too much of it, he supposed.
Being so kind and good-natured, she had taken it all very much to heart.
He drew her up against him when he was done rolling up her sleeves, growling softly as he placed his arms around her and wrapped her in his embrace. This was where she belonged and had always belonged, only he had been too caught up in his dark past to allow her to shine her light on him.
He was still caught up in this dark void of his past, still haunted by all the unknowns of his life. But he always found solace in Chloe, in her sweetness and acceptance of him. He loved her beyond anything he had ever imagined possible.
Protecting her mattered more to him than his own life ever could.
Because of that love, he had wanted to give Chloe the opportunity to accept someone of more suitable rank and wealth, especially Lord Claymore, who was now returning to Moonstone Landing. He thought of it as making a noble sacrifice on his part. But in truth, he was just being cowardly and using his fears of disappointing her as a reason to push her away. He should have given her feelings more consideration.
But he had looked at the situation only through his eyes, his mind fixed on the fact he was not good enough for her. She had never felt this way, nor had she ever made him feel lesser. Quite the opposite—no one had ever made him feel more cherished.
And here he was, willing to pass her off to someone else.
Not only was he thinking to foist her on someone else, someone he deemed worthy while ignoring Chloe’s wishes, but she must have been in agony thinking he would move on and find someone else for himself.
No wonder she had almost made herself ill when seeing him with Lady Dowling.
How could he have done this to Chloe, this sweet girl who loved him truly? Because of him, she had been in misery thinking she would lose him to the merry widow. Others thought the woman beautiful, but she could never compare to Chloe.
Chloe was far prettier in his eyes. Indeed, she was radiant.
She would never lose him to anyone else, because he loved her too much. But how was she to know this if he constantly pushed her away? He loved her to the depths of his soul, so why did he think she could not love him in this same, all-consuming way?
“Chloe…” She had never once belittled him or cared who sired him. She loved him for the man he was. For this reason, her family had come around to accepting him despite having expressed some initial concerns. This was no longer an issue. They understood what Chloe needed, what her heart yearned for, and were not going to stand in her way.
All along, he had been the obstruction.
He ran his thumb lightly along the line of her jaw. “There is something I have forgotten to do.”
