Page 82 of The Moonstone Marquess
How could she have been so stupid? She was not thinking merely of their morning swim or sitting for their midday meal.
Oh, how utterly stupid she had been!
A man as proud as Cormac would never sleep with Lady Seline. Oh, perhaps he would have been amenable to a quick romp that required him to undo a button or two. But to spend the night in her bedchamber? To undress himself? And undress her? Then put himself together sufficiently to walk out the next morning?
He could not do it.
Nor would his pride allow him to rely on someone like Lady Seline, who was not above mocking or ridiculing others. He had to fear she would do the same to him.
Of course she would. Yes, she would utterly destroy him as she watched with malicious amusement while he struggled to don his clothes and boots.
He’d referred to the woman as a viper.
She gasped. “I’m so sorry, Cormac. Can you ever forgive me?”
He frowned. “About my not wanting the sea captain’s clothes? What is there to forgive?”
“No, not that.” She stared at him, feeling quite anguished for her inadvertent cruelty. But he did not appear to know what she was talking about. “The rumors…they’re all lies.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I told you that. You didn’t believe me. What has suddenly changed?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I am so, so stupid.”
“Phoebe, stop. Why are you beating yourself up?” Then he inhaled sharply. “My garments. That’s why you believe me now. Because you’ve suddenly realized I am as helpless as an infant when it comes to dressing myself.”
“And too proud ever to allow someone as ruthless as Lady Seline to see you struggling and vulnerable.” She took his hand. “Come upstairs with me. I’ll help you.”
He laughed. “Are you mad? If you are caught with your hands on my falls, you’ll be ruined.”
“And you will save me by marrying me. Is this not what you are hoping for?”
“Lord help me, yes. I’m aching for the day we exchange wedding vows. But are you all right with it? Don’t you need more time?”
“No. And you can thank Imogen mostly. She adores you.”
“And I love her, as must be obvious. My nieces are the most precious things to me, as you well know.”
Phoebe nodded. “She is as wise as any ancient sage. She told me quite plainly that you do not lie. So if you say the gossip is not true, then it isn’t true. She is right. And I was a fool to ever doubt you.”
“No, love. Not a fool.” He caressed her cheek. “Just too scared to love someone with a past as wicked as mine.”
She looked up at him, just stared at him while her heart opened up and allowed him in. “But in asking me to marry you, you are trusting me with your most intimate fears. All these little things that frustrate and anger you at every turn. That wound your pride. You are letting me in because you know I will never hurt you. Cormac, I am not scared anymore.”
He kissed her lightly on the mouth. “Then you’ll marry me?”
She nodded when he ended the soft kiss. “Yes.”
“Well, blessed saints.” He smiled and kissed her again with tender urgency.
The sun shone down on them, and the air felt fresh and light.
Allowing herself to love him was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
She now understood how much he loved her, for he would not have revealed his private shame to anyone else. Oh, as a practical matter, others would realize his constraints. But to actually be in the room with him, assisting him…that was something too much for his pride to take.
Yet he was allowing her in. Not only did he love her, but he trusted her never to hurt or shame him. He was sharing his vulnerability with her, and it was no small thing for him to do.
It was the purest act of love.
