Page 33 of The Moonstone Marquess
“Yes, Phoebe.”
“That is ridiculous.”
“No, it isn’t. You preyed on my thoughts.Phoebe.The little lioness. It was time I did something about you.”
“So you turn up drunk on my doorstep and forget your nieces were coming to stay the month with you? That was a very good start.”
He sighed. “Stop kicking my arse. I did not say I was perfect. I know I am far from it. But I was so tired of being angry at the world, of hating myself, and being a constant trial to my brother. Cain wrote to me about how much he enjoyed his life in Moonstone Landing and was constantly urging me to get out of London and move here. He would also tell me what you were doing.”
She regarded him with confusion. “Why would he mention me?”
“Because I always asked about you.” He settled on the sand and looked out across the sea. “In those dark hours, my darkest indeed, I would write to him.Tell me about Phoebe. How is she? How is my lioness?”
She settled beside him, tucking her legs under her shapely bottom. “I never knew.”
“You weren’t meant to. I purchased the house, had it furnished, and was about to start my new life. Mylife, because I was desperate to find a reason to go on living. Not that I meant to do myself in. I had no intention of it. I simply abhorred the path my life was taking and knew changes had to be made.”
She said nothing, merely continued to listen.
“I know it was not fair to place this burden on you, for you owed me nothing. You had not ever met me until that disastrous encounter yesterday, and here I was deciding you were the only one who could save me.”
He shook his head and paused a moment.
Waves lapped closer, but the tide was only now starting to come in. They could sit together a while longer before having to move back. “I had acquired Westgate Hall and was preparing to come out here when my friend died. I had given him my word to protect his brother, to make a man of him. Not only with women, although obviously… Well, that was easily attended to. But I had to keep my oath.”
He glanced at her and continued. “How does one instill character in someone with a fragile heart? Having given James this deathbed promise, I invited his grieving brother along with me for this first week.”
“Along with those ladies.”
“Yes, those ladies that he, not I, invited. In truth, I was not keen on the idea of having them along, but he was so wretched and would not stop crying. His friend, Lord Harding, had already made plans to bring them.”
“Toconsoleyour grieving friend,” she said dryly.
“Do not look upon me with disapproval, Phoebe. He needed… Well, it was part of the reason he felt so inadequate, not only in his relations with women but also in taking on his responsibilities as earl. As for the women, they are desperately unhappy creatures. Having felt my own pain and handled it badly, I am not one to judge them.”
He leaned back in the sand, propping himself up by resting his weight on his one elbow. “Sometimes physical pain is an easier thing to handle. How does a broken heart or shattered soul ever heal? I sought relief in meaningless relations with the wrong sort of women. The partners were irrelevant. Perhaps it would have been wiser merely to drink myself into oblivion, but I never wanted my nieces to see me falling so low.”
Phoebe scooted back as a wave washed close to their boots. “Move back with me.”
He did so, once more settling beside her.
Life felt so much calmer when he was beside her, even though she obviously disapproved of his ways and was not shy about telling him so. He could not explain this feeling of peace that fell over him whenever he was with her. “I’ve probably botched the entire week. Lord Harding is a former schoolmate of the earl’s and an utter leech. These ladies he brought along, despite their titles, have no scruples whatsoever.”
He sighed. “I do not pretend to be a saint. Nor do I need you telling me how depraved we all are or how badly I have planned this week. My point in talking to you is that I will soon be sending these guests away. However, Richard has asked to remain with me another week. I think we had a bit of a breakthrough today, but he is not yet steady on his feet and could do with more time. I am torn, Phoebe.”
She nodded. “Between duty to him and duty to your nieces.”
“Yes, precisely. I will not have him in the same house as those girls. I cannot be sure he is recovered and do not want them near if he happens to have another breakdown.”
“So you are asking me if they may stay here a little while longer?”
“Yes.” He had been gazing out over the water and now turned to face her. The wind had picked up and was blowing a few wisps of her curls out of their pins and onto her sun-kissed cheeks.
She looked so lovely.
“But if it is too much of an imposition, I will understand.”
“Your nieces are sweet and entirely too well behaved,” she said with a lilting laugh. “Chloe and I don’t mind having them with us at all.”
