Page 89 of The Moonstone Marquess
“She loves you both,” Cain said. “I’m sure she’ll split her time between her two sisters. But I think Moonstone Cottage is the place she considers home. Do not be surprised if she asks to move back there the moment she comes of age.”
Phoebe and Cormac did not remain long afterward, since her sister and Cain still had a lot of unpacking to do and were likely tired from their trip. They decided to ride into town to see how his nieces were getting along with their fittings. Also, she was eager to relate the good news to Chloe and the girls.
Of course, they were aware of the couple’s desire to marry. But it was nice to be able to officially proclaim their betrothal.
Not that it very much mattered, since the entire town now knew of their feelings and had simply accepted they were betrothed.
Cormac was unusually quiet as they rode toward Moonstone Landing. Hadrian ambled at an easy lope, his big hooves muffled as they struck the damp earth. Phoebe remained comfortably tucked against Cormac’s chest.
But she turned to him when he suddenly drew Hadrian to a halt. They had just reached the scenic rise overlooking the village and the sea beyond.
He dismounted and then helped her down.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, for he suddenly looked quite serious.
“No, love.” His voice was thick and raspy. “I just wanted a moment alone with you.”
He wrapped his arm around her as they stood together and admired the view. Her breath caught when she glanced at him and noticed his eyes tearing. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but there was something in his expression that stilled her tongue.
After a moment, he let out a ragged breath and spoke. “One loses sight of beauty when your face is flat against a muddy, blood-slicked ground and cannons are firing all around you. All you can hear are screams of the wounded and the deafening roars of those never-ending cannon blasts. All you can smell is death and blood. I was not a good person when I signed up to fight. Oh, I had a sense of duty to my country, but that is all the good that could be said of me.”
She was afraid to utter a word, but she knew he was not as bad as he made himself out to be. He had a strong love of family, had always been good to his brother and now his brother’s daughters. He was also a dutiful marquess and took his responsibilities to those who lived and worked on his estates quite seriously.
“I look at Seline and see her for what I used to be back then. Arrogant. Selfish.”
“I cannot believe you were ever that mean-spirited. You were never so cruel as to purposely harm anyone.”
He shook his head. “I hurteveryone. I might have even been capable of hurting you, had I met you earlier. I like to think I would have kept away from you, for even as vile as I was, I did have somewhat of a code of honor. No virgins. No entanglements. Honesty about my intentions—but those intentions were rarely honorable. I gave no thought whatsoever to who might be hurt by my casual dalliances. What if I destroyed marriages?”
“Seems to me it is the spouses who do the destroying. It is one thing if those marriages were happy before you came along.”
“No, they weren’t. Even at my most despicable, I would not have…” He sighed. “Perhaps I was not the worst man alive. But neither was I a good man. Despite having a prosperous estate and a loving family, I never reached out to help those in need. I gave no thought to anyone other than myself.”
He turned toward her and gave her cheek a soft caress. “I was in a bad way after losing my arm. I did not need Seline’s cruelty to sink me lower, for I had already struck bottom. Hating myself and hating the world. Then Cain and Hen came to visit me. They mentioned you.Phoebe.That’s all I needed to hear, and I somehow knew my heart was yours.”
She gave him a smile. “Took you three years to get here.”
He grinned back. “You would not have liked me if I had come any sooner. I was no prize even a few weeks ago, when you first set eyes on me. But I was ready to reform, ready to pledge my heart to you, since I was already in love with you.”
“You were in love with theideaof me.”
“No, with you. You are in my blood and in my soul, in every breath I take.Phoebe.You are the soft breeze against my cheek and the lavender-scented air surrounding us. You brought me here, no one else. I am surrounded by beauty because you are beside me. You have no idea how special you are to me. Cain knows it. He saw the look in my eyes. He feels the same about your sister.”
Her heart melted as he spoke. She had never imagined anyone could feel this way about her, especially this man she loved so deeply.
“I hope you will grow to trust me, Phoebe. I just wanted to explain to you why I know our marriage will always be unbreakable. You’ve given me this.” He motioned toward the village and sea. “You’ve given me love. Happiness. I was in such a deep, dark hole. You lifted me out of it. And don’t say I did it myself. I didn’t. I needed the hope of you. I needed you.”
He was unburdening a decade of torment and unhappiness.
She did not know what to say.
She had done nothing but be herself.
Perhaps this was all he needed her to be. Just herself. Phoebe Killigrew, who loved him.
She thought she understood what was going through his mind at this moment, this new road he was about to take, one that would lead to happiness and fulfillment instead of emptiness and misery.
“It seems ironic that the rakehell marquess should find his freedom by committing himself in marriage, especially to me,” she teased affectionately.
