Page 11 of The Dream of Love
She put a hand over her heart, hoping beyond hope he intended to be the one to teach her. Merciful heaven, was it possible? What would it entail? She was already having sinful thoughts about him.
Were his thoughts about her just as sinful?
He was Wellesford’s respected vicar. Would an exchange of kisses corrupt him morally? Would it unleash wanton desires in a physical and morally improper way?
Was it wrong of her to hope for it?
Of course, it was. No wonder her father wanted her out of his house. She was a hoyden and a dissolute. “Who will teach me? You?”
He regarded her oddly. “I was thinking you ought to talk to Poppy. She is happily married to Nathaniel. You can also speak to Olivia, who is obviously in love with her husband, the Duke of Hartford. They’re due to return to Gosling Hall tomorrow.” He glanced toward the meadow separating Sherbourne Manor from Gosling Hall. “I can assure you, Poppy and Olivia will do all they can to help you understand about this sort of love.”
He continued to regard her oddly. “Remi, you look confused. What is the matter?”
She sighed, deciding to tell him the truth since she was not very good at hiding her feelings anyway. “I thought you meant you were going to teach me. Isn’t this what you do? Offer guidance to those who are lost?”
His chuckle was deep and resonant. “Blessed saints, not that sort of guidance.”
“I’m sorry. I suppose I was not thinking clearly. That sort of love would require some physical involvement, and I know you do not want to touch me in that way. But if marriage is sacred, then isn’t there some higher level of awareness and affection that I ought to be taught? An awareness of the senses. You know, sight, touch, taste, scent, and hearing.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Who told you this? Poppy? Is she going on about that book of hers?”
Remi shook her head. “What book?”
“Never mind.”
“Adam, please tell me. Is this something I can learn from a book? I am an avid reader and a good student when I put my mind to it. Will you tell me? Or must I ask Poppy?”
“No, I’ll tell you.” He shook his head and groaned. “Have you never seen her toting a book with a faded red leather binding?”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
“I suppose it doesn’t matter. Ask her about it. She is holding on to it for her sister, Violet, when she comes of age. She’ll hand it off to Violet when it is time for her to make her London debut. Poppy, Olivia, and Nathaniel’s sister, Penelope, claim to have used it to lead each of them to their true love. They are convinced it is magical. But I urge you to ignore that nonsense.”
“Are you speaking of the same book they loaned to Miss Billings, the Wellesford bookshop owner? Did she not find true love shortly thereafter with the village doctor?” Her eyes brightened, and she suddenly felt hope about her situation.
He frowned. “The doctor fell in love with her years prior. Indeed, he fell in love with her at first sight. It just took him a while to come around to admitting it.”
“But it is no coincidence she happened to be reading this book when he finally found the courage to tell her. The more I think on it, the more it makes sense to ask Poppy for the loan of this book. What have I got to lose? How will I be any worse off? I’ll read it, study it. Memorize it. Then I’ll know what traits to look for in my perfect husband. She tried to talk to me about the five senses the other day. I ought to have paid closer attention. But it is all in that book, isn’t it?”
“Remi, don’t place all your hopes onThe Book of Love.”
She inhaled lightly. “A perfect name for it, don’t you think? A magical book to help one find love. Adam, this is exactly what I must do, place my hope in it.”
“No…that is, I want you to read it. But do not think it is the end all and be all. I do not want to see you crushed.”
“I am already crushed. Why should I not pin my dreams on it? Do you have a better suggestion? I need to find the right man and marry him. Elope with him, if necessary. I won’t have much time before my father hands me over to the ogre he has chosen for me.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” He tucked a finger under her chin to force her to look at him. Oh, she was looking. She could look at him for hours and not blink. If only he knew how perfect he was and how easy it was to stare at him all day. “Do not put all your faith in this…pagan magic.”
“But you’ve seen it work. How can you deny its power?” She slipped out of his grasp and put her hands on her hips. “If it worked for Poppy, Olivia, Penelope,andMiss Billings, why do you believe it cannot possibly work for me?”
“Because you would be reading it in desperation and might convince yourself to marry the wrong man simply because he was the first to come along.”
“If you are so worried about my inability to distinguish love from desperation, then why won’t you help me? You are the one who is supposed to set the example for your parishioners, half of whom are madly in love with you, if you hadn’t noticed. And while we are on the topic of marriage, why don’tyouwant to get married?”
“Blessed saints! That again?” He folded his arms across his chest and stood with his legs slightly apart, the stance somehow making him appear bigger than he was, and he was already as big and daunting as a warrior knight. “Because I don’t. This isn’t about me.”
“That is not an answer.” She had to tip her head back to meet his gaze, for they stood too close now, each of them too stubborn to give an inch. She still had her hands on her hips, and he still had his muscled arms crossed over his chest.
