Page 66 of Overtime Goal
Goddammit. Where the hell had he said he was going? Drinks? I threw off the sheets and stumbled into the bathroom for a quick shower. He hadn’t told me exactly where he was going, but it didn’t matter.
I’ll tear Positano apart if I have to. I’m going down there, and I won’t come back until Logan’s with me.
27/
logan
Quinn watchedme like he already knew the answer to his question: “Ready, Lo?” It hung there between us, as if this were no big deal. We’d had drinks, and he was ready to celebrate old times with a good fuck. Or four.
His mouth had curved into that familiar smirk that used to undo me. “Lo, you ready?” he asked again, softer this time but still sure of himself.
I didn’t answer. Around us, the terrace hummed with conversation and clinking glasses. Beyond us, the sea stretched wide and blue in the distance, with sails scattered across the horizon. Overhead, gulls screamed as they wheeled down toward the water. The sound was so sharp and raw it cut into the mess in my head.
Quinn was still handsome as fuck. He was bigger than me and broader. His shirt stretched across the same torso I’d once slept against. I remembered what he could do with his wide hands, and the way he’d begged me to fuck him with a broken, needy whine I’d never forget, no matter how much I wanted to.
Most of my life, I’d thought men were hopeless. Today, I thought the same thing about myself. Every word out of his mouth scraped me raw. The cocky tilt of his shoulders and theeasy smirk were the same as always. He acted like he owned everything in the room, including me. His confidence could charm the whole bar, but to me it felt like proof I’d only been one of many.
But still I stared, sitting next to him, cornered by memories and temptation. He was objectively beautiful. With my hurt pride and churning testosterone, I couldn’t ignore all that. Was this what Riley felt with women, wanting them even when his heart wasn’t in it?
It wasn’t the same, though, because Quinn and I had a history. I used to tell myself I was lucky he wanted me, and after that, I spent a long time trying to mend my broken heart. Now, I stared down at my beer, wondering if it would be worth the humiliation of accepting his offer. It would get my mind off Riley for a while, but would I feel even worse when it was over?
Quinn crossed his arms, wearing his phony patient smirk. He was always good at waiting long enough to make me think the next move was mine.
Riley was impatient too, but his was never calculated like Quinn’s. Riley’s urgency was electric, eager to experience life and wanting me right there with him. It pulled me in every damn time. He was irresistible, but that was a problem because he could also be reckless. Riley was the kind of guy who’d hook up with a puck bunny in the arena’s parking lot and laugh it off ten minutes later. It didn’t matter because I was still chasing the echo of his laugh, wanting to feel his excitement about doing something crazy.
This morning, he’d been hurt and scared, but I’d shut him down as if his feelings weren’t important. I’d thrown up walls to defend myself, which was what I’d always done when I was the scared one.
My mind raced while Quinn sighed in the background. I was pulling away from Riley because I was frightened he’d hurt me,but why was I so afraid? If he truly hadn’t wanted to go out with Natalie, then he’d never once broken a promise to me. Back in Buffalo, he’d been straightforward about not being able to make promises yet. Those weren’t the words of someone who’d say whatever it took to get what they wanted and worry about the consequences later.
Riles had never left me feeling used, and he’d never made me feel stupid for trusting him. He’d never gone off the grid and left me wondering if he was alive. Even when he ignored everyone else, he always stayed in touch with me.
Quinn was the opposite. I’d told myself it didn’t matter when he disappeared for days and wouldn’t return my calls. After I heard rumors that he was sleeping around, I asked him if there was someone else. He brushed me off and said I was imagining things.
Later, on one of my visits to Seattle, he confessed that there were many others. “I’m just taking care of my needs,” he’d said. “It has nothing to do with our relationship. I’d rather be with you if I could.”
But it had everything to do with us, which was something he never understood. That could have been what bothered me so much about Riley’s date with Natalie. He’d sounded too much like Quinn when he said, “Come on. It’s only PR. You know how this works.” Then, “I don’t want to go. I’d rather stay with you and have dinner together.”
I’d immediately jumped to the conclusion they’d have sex. It hadn’t been an unreasonable thought, given all the conquests Riley had boasted about before LA. In a panic, I did the same thing I’d done with Quinn years earlier; I threw up a wall and checked out before he could hurt me worse.
Did Riley have sex with Natalie? If he had, he’d rushed away as soon as they’d finished. When he got home, he hadn’t looked dirty or well fucked, and he hadn’t looked freshly showeredeither. What I’d seen was a man with too much on his mind, and I hadn’t missed the brokenness in his voice when I asked him to leave me alone.
He couldn’t have faked the worry etched on his face this morning, and he’d seemed devastated when I wouldn’t listen to him. Like an asshole, I’d dismissed his feelings. He’d looked gutted when I told him we needed space, but I’d still been too angry with him to care.
Shit. Why can’t he just love me?
“Logan?” Quinn leaned in, brows drawn together. “Where’d you go just now?”
I blinked. “Sorry. Still zonked from traveling, maybe?”
He smiled. “Want to make it better?” He brushed a knuckle against mine. “Let’s go to my hotel.”
Did I owe Riley the benefit of the doubt, or was I falling back into a self-created hell by imagining I did? If I chose him, would I be opening myself to the possibility of something real? Or would I be walking into a heartbreak I might never recover from?
I swallowed hard and looked out at the sea.
28/
riley
