Page 60 of Overtime Goal
Maybe he’s out looking for someone, my asshole brain whispered.Another man. Someone who doesn’t make him miserable.
The thought stabbed me in the chest. I leaned against the kitchen counter, gripping the cool granite edge. It would be no less than I deserved, maybe, but it goddamn hurt. I couldn’t have fucked things up any better if I’d tried.
Swallowing hard, I tried to convince myself he was out for a walk, trying to clear his mind. He’d probably had a terrible night too, picturing me with Natalie and imagining the worst.
But fuck him. He’d been the one who wouldn’t talk to me. If he had, he’d know nothing happened between her and me. I could’ve told him I didn’t want anyone but him, that last night had proved it beyond any doubt.
If he’d let me talk, I would’ve said it wasn’t only about sex. It was about him, how he could make me laugh harder than anyone else, and how being near him shut down all the noise in my head. Even our stupid arguments were good because they proved we cared enough to fight.
I was in so deep I could barely see daylight. And now, when I was finally ready to say it out loud and ask him to help figure out what we were, he was gone. Goddammit. Had I blown my shot, maybe for good, because I hadn’t told my agent to shove his ultimatum up his ass? Come on. Frank had called early in the morning, right after Logan had given me a mind-altering blow job. If I’d been thinking clearly, I’d have realized other people would have killed to represent me. But I’d been too addled and confused. Too fucking selfish.
So here I was, alone in paradise and afraid I’d lost my best friend for good. I swiped at my face, furious at the tears, because they were no help. What the hell was I going to do without him?
With nothing else to do, I made coffee. My hands shook as I spooned grounds into the machine and switched it on. The rich scent made my stomach rumble, but I didn’t want to eat without Logan. Eventually, I caved, poured myself a cup of coffee, and grabbed a couple of pastries from a box on the counter. Then I carried everything outside and dropped into a chair.
You’re a fucking idiot, Riley.
The pastries were flaky, buttery perfection, but the bitter taste of regret was stronger. I embellished my previous statement. “I’m a grade-A certified fucking asshole idiot.”
As I was swallowing the last bite, I heard footsteps inside. Logan was home.
My pulse went haywire as relief kicked in. I ran into the kitchen, poured him coffee, and put two more pastries on a plate. When I looked up, he was standing in the doorway watching me. His expression gave nothing away.
“Hi,” I said, summoning as much good cheer as I could. “I wasn’t sure when you’d be home, so I already started eating. Come outside and join me?”
He crossed the room and took the coffee and pastries from me. “Thank you. Let’s go.”
“It’s a beautiful day. Are we still going on our drive?”
He said nothing until we were sitting at the table, and even then, he ignored my question. “I’m sorry if you were worried this morning. I forgot to leave a note, and I didn’t take my phone.”
“Iwasworried, to be honest. After yesterday and last night, I didn’t know what to think.”
He swallowed a bite of his sfogliatella before he spoke. “Like I said, I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. I accept.”
Without saying anything else, he finished his pastry and drank some coffee. Finally, he looked at me again. “Did you enjoy your date?”
“Not really. Natalie’s nice and all, and the restaurant was fantastic. I want to take you there. But the date was no good. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Logan, and I want to talk about it.”
He picked up his cornetto and looked at me over the top of it. “I’ve been thinking too. I need to tell you a few things.”
Adrenaline shot through me, making my fingers tingle. In case he was about to lash out at me again, I needed to speak first. “Can I start? I think it’ll help if you hear what I’ve been thinking about.”
He bit into his pastry and kept his eyes on me until he swallowed. “Okay. Maybe we’ve come to the same conclusions.”
“Thanks.” I clasped my hands together to stop them from shaking. Now that it was time to talk, the right words were hard to find. “I… um…” I blew out a long breath. “I like you so much, Logan. Please tell me you know that.”
He nodded, holding out a hand for me to go on.
“Yesterday, I didn’t want to go out with Natalie. I know you didn’t believe me, but I tried to get out of it. I should’ve told Frank to go to hell because agents aren’t dictators. I should’ve learned that before, and now I have.”
I waited for a reply, but none came. Logan swallowed the last of the cornetto and took another sip of coffee before he nodded.
Shit. He isn’t making this easy.
My coffee had gone cold, so I finished it to keep my hands busy. “I’ve been thinking about something, and yesterday I did some online research.”
