Page 57 of Overtime Goal
I headed to my room and found my iPad.
Is this stupid? Am I imagining things that aren’t there because I’m upset about Logan leaving in a huff?
I powered on the tablet and connected to the house’s Wi-Fi. After an internal debate, I googled, “How do you know if you’re bisexual?”
My hands shook, but I had to do this. I’d known gay and bi guys since high school. Logan was gay, Harpy was married to Luca, and Dog and Holky were so in love you could feel it in the air. Regardless, I’d never felt so ignorant about anything.
Half an hour later, I’d found a lot of information, and it seemed like Icouldbe bi. The facts were undeniable. I was attracted to women and men, and I didn’t want to imagine my life without Logan in it.
I’d learned that people experience bisexuality in different ways. Some have the same kinds of feelings about different genders, while others tend to feel romantically about one gender but are still physically attracted to another. For many, it seemsto come down to feelings; they are physically attracted to people of different genders but make relationship decisions based on emotional connections. There’s no such thing as one-size-fits-all bisexuality. Only individuals can decide about their own identities.
While I considered that, I looked up the address of Natalie’s hotel. I was glad Logan hadn’t taken the car since it would be about a twenty-minute drive from the villa, and I wasn’t sure Positano had Lyft. A glance at the clock told me I was running late. Fuck. Thinking about my sexuality would have to wait. I needed to look good to go out with a supermodel, so I bolted for the shower.
Half an hour later, I spritzed on cologne, gave my hair another check in the mirror, and knotted my tie. Logan and I had brought suits so we could go to fancy restaurants, and now I was going without him. I sighed as I pulled on my jacket, and after one more glance in the mirror, I left.
When I pulled up to the Hotel Il San Pietro, I checked the mirror twice and grimaced at my reflection. Who the fuck was this guy? Hair carefully styled and wearing a tailored designer suit, all because my agent demanded it. Logan had been right. Even though it wasn’t my choice, this was a date.
Inside the hotel, the floors gleamed under bright chandeliers. When the elevator doors opened onto Natalie’s floor, my heart rattled hard enough to make me put my hand on my chest. I knocked on her door, and when it swung open, my jaw nearly hit the floor.
“Hey,” Natalie said. Her smile took my breath away. I’d seen her hundreds of times on magazine covers, but in person, she was fucking unreal. Tall and lean, with her golden-blonde hair falling in perfect waves down her back. Her black dress hugged every curve, and a deep slit up the side exposed a smooth, tanned thigh. Diamonds sparkled at her ears and wrists, but they were nothing compared to the electric-blue eyes looking me over.
“Uh, wow.”Great fucking start, Riley.“You look… incredible.”
Her laugh was a soft, rich sound that made my pulse race. “Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself.”
Her eyes dropped pointedly, and heat flared through me. Damn, it had been too long since I had sex with a woman.
What the fucking fuck? I’m here with Logan, and he’s the one I want. All this could only make sense if I’m bi, right? Attracted to both, wanting to be with one.
I thought about him, determined to prove I could use my brain instead of my dick. It would help to be out in public, where my thoughts would have to stay inside my head. “Let’s head out,” I told her. “We can have a drink at the restaurant if the table isn’t ready.”
“Absolutely.” She grabbed a tiny black purse from the table and smiled. “I’ve been starving myself for this all day.”
In the car, we kept the conversation light: careers, life on the road, paparazzi horrors. She was funny and didn’t seem to take herself too seriously.
At Passi verso il mare, the maître d’ led us to a table on the terrace overlooking the sea. Candles flickered in glass holders, and a string quartet was playing in the corner. It was romantic as fuck.
I ordered a steak, and Natalie went for seafood pasta. After we took our first bites, she sipped her wine and smiled.“I’ve never dated a hockey player before. It’s usually actors or musicians.”
“Um.” I shifted in my seat. “Is this really a date?”
Here eyes sparkled as she laughed. “Oh, I think so. You looked impressed enough when you picked me up.”
I coughed, almost choking on my wine. “Well, yeah. You’re…”
“I’m teasing, Aidan.” She leaned in. “But honestly, it’s refreshing. Most guys in my world are so self-involved they can’t see past their noses.”
“Plenty of those in hockey too,” I said. “But most of us stay pretty grounded. Getting knocked into the boards a thousand times keeps you humble.”
She laughed again, tilting her head to one side. “So, from my social media spying, it looks like you’re single. Why? Is it because you’re on the road all the time, or are you just terrible at relationships?”
“Probably both. What about you? You’re pretty much the most beautiful woman alive.”
“Aren’t you sweet?” She rolled her eyes. “I’m single. With all the travel and scrutiny, and everyone watching and judging, I get exhausted.”
As we talked, guilt gnawed at my gut. Somehow, I was failing her and Logan at the same time. This should have been a perfect date, something to remember, but all I wanted was to be with Logan. I needed to hear him laughing at something stupid I’d said and feel him next to me. I missed him, and it hurt like a bitch. Even worse, I’d hurt him. Would he be able to forgive me?
By the time dessert arrived, berries with zabaglione, I was more confused than ever. I was out with a beautiful woman, but I didn’t want her, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Logan. Whatever was happening, I was not the Riley I used to be. Or had thought I was.
