Page 50 of Overtime Goal
Would it help if he said he loved me and I was all he wanted, forever and always? It would, but deep down, I wasn’t sure I’d believe him. The question wasn’t whether he would mean it, butcould he?
Although I knew he liked me, I wasn’t sure he could ever match the way I felt about him. Was it even possible for him to fall in love with a man? I was afraid we were just friends who got off together, and I was the only one who hoped for more.
I kept saying I didn’t want him to resent me, and that was true. But if I wanted him to believe it, I had to get myself under control. I’d rather be heartbroken with him as a friend than heartbroken and alone. If I wanted the best possible outcome, there could be no more smart-ass comments. I’d have to mask what I was feeling, grit my teeth, and let him do what he needed to.
Every time he glanced over with one of his excited, goofy grins, I forced a smile of my own. Our hands bumped repeatedly, and even though neither of us grabbed for the other’s, I wished he would. I was out, but under the circumstances, I needed to let him decide when to have physical contact in public.
When we reached the bottom of one of the winding trails, Positano opened wide below us. The pastel houses cascading down the cliffside looked like frosting on a crooked cake, and the turquoise sea was a beacon drawing us closer. Everything seemed louder as we approached the beach, with its crashing waves and peals of laughter from the sunbathers. Boats hummed in the water, and somewhere close, a woman was singing.
When we stepped onto the sand of the Spiaggia Grande, Positano’s main stretch, I knew it was unlike other beaches I’d visited. The sand was different under my shoes; not soft, but firm, rocking me the way a boat tops a gentle swell.
We changed in the bathhouse, and I failed at pretending not to look at Riley. I knew the taste of his skin and the shape of his muscles under my tongue. He finished changing first and said he’d meet me outside. After he left, I leaned against the wall, catching my breath and hoping I wouldn’t make a fool of myself ogling him on the beach.
After changing, I caught up as he was paying for water, two loungers, and some towels. We were both shirtless, and I couldn’t help watching him as we walked across the pale beach to our chairs, which were under a blue and white umbrella.
We stowed our bags under the loungers, and when we stood, Riley looked at me. His towel was draped around his neck, his cheeks were flushed, and his chest was already slick with sweat. Grinning, he tossed me a bottle of water.
I returned his smile. “You all right there, Riles? You look like you’ve run a marathon.”
The hair falling across his eyes fluttered in the breeze. “Hot from looking at you. You look like you stepped right off a porn site homepage.”
I laughed as we sat down. “Don’t flatter me. You’re the one who could be a porn model. The way you kept stretching on the way across the beach almost drove me crazy.”
“Yeah, well, look who’s talking. I’m just trying to keep up with you.”
“Bullshit. I’m the one trying to keep up with my boyf…”
Fuck, no. What the hell did I do?
He stared at me for a second, then blinked once, looked away, and took a long drink of water. I fought the urge to run. That was out of the question because my heart was pounding too fast. “Shit, Riles. I didn’t mean?—”
“I know,” he said, turning back toward me. His voice was quiet and easy, like he meant it.
“I… I really was…”
He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. We’re cool. Let’s put on sunscreen.”
I hoped he was telling the truth, that we really were okay. After applying our sunblock and doing each other’s backs, we spread our towels and settled into the loungers. I looked around, letting myself enjoy the view. Pale sand stretched out in front of us, dotted with umbrellas lined up in perfect rows. The shimmering water was clear, its turquoise color lighter here than from up the mountain. A few people with long-lens cameras wandered here and there, the famous paparazzi, and I hoped they’d keep their distance.
“Already tired?” Riles asked.
I tipped my sunglasses to show him a mock evil eye. “I’m thirty-five, babe. My back’s a little sore.”
“You were thirty-five last night too. Didn’t seem to slow you down then.”
I couldn’t bite back a laugh. “Don’t you forget it either. It was a long walk down here, so let’s rest before we go into the water.”
“Take a nap, old man. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Yes, and he’ll probably be surrounded by girls wearing string bikinis.
That thought wasn’t helpful, so I pushed it out of my mind. We lay in silence as the heat soaked in. Close by, a kid shrieked as he chased a seagull, and a woman called something to him in Italian. Finally, I began letting go of the morning.
Riles was still, and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep. I took the opportunity to watch him. He hadn’t shaved since we left Buffalo, and the stubble on his jaw was sexy as hell. His long, thick lashes cast shadows on his cheeks and made me want to kiss them. The things we’d said and done last night swirled around inside me, knotted up with heat and confusion.
Eventually, I couldn’t remain still, so I hopped up. “I’m going in.”
Riley pulled his sunglasses off and opened one eye. “Ready to show off your body?”
