Page 45 of Overtime Goal
He raised an eyebrow, but his expression was unreadable. “You’ve been looking at that woman since I started talking.”
I opened my mouth, then shut it and settled into a sheepish grin. “Um… she’s very symmetrical.”
He looked at his plate and stabbed a bite of pasta. “Right. Symmetry’s important.”
My chest tightened. “Don’t make that face. You know I’m an idiot sometimes.”
He didn’t look up. “Oh really?”
“I mean it,” I said. “You’re the one I want to be with.”
He raised his head, and his lips trembled before he spoke. “I know you like women. None of us can help who we’re attracted to. You’re young, and you don’t owe me anything, so if you want?—”
“I don’t.” I paused long enough for that to sink in. “There’s a big difference between looking and touching. I don’t want…” I shook my head. “I don’t care how symmetrical she is, I don’t want her. And you’re pretty damn symmetrical yourself, in case you haven’t noticed.”
His expression changed, still guarded but warmer. “You trying to say I’m pretty?”
I rolled my eyes. “If you call a stubbly cheek, hairy chest, and big dick pretty, then you’re way past that. Plus, you read poetry out loud without making it sound like a funeral.”
“Fuck you,” he said, snickering. He took a slow sip of wine, and when he looked at me again, his smile had disappeared. “I know you can’t control what you want, but I… I guess I was hoping you’d wantmetonight.”
The guilt hit hard. All I’d done wrong was make him feel insecure, but I hated it. “I thought I said that a minute ago. Idowant you, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t. Like I said, I’m an idiot sometimes.”
“Don’t, Riles. I’m the one who should apologize. When I said you don’t owe me anything, I meant it. Will you promise me something though?”
“What?”
“Be honest with me. If you have to be with someone else, say so. I’ll deal with it.”
What the fuck is going on in my head? And in his? I should want to be with a sexy woman, but I don’t. Why won’t he believe me?
I nodded. “I’ll be honest, but I promise I came here to be with you.”
“Thanks. I promise I’ll be honest too.”
My stomach clenched into a knot. What the fuck didthatmean? Was it some kind of test? A warning? Was he saying he might want to hook up with someone else?Fuck.I thought he’d asked me along so he could be with me.
Jesus. Apparently, I really had gone nuts. If I was straight, why did the thought of Logan with another guy make me so upset? We both had needs. I’d felt drawn to the woman, so why wouldn’t he be attracted to other men? But being attracted didn’t mean you had to act on it.
Fuck me. I didn’t want Logan to be with anyone else, but I was the one who’d said I couldn’t make promises. If he wanted to sleep with another man, I’d have to suck it up and keep my mouth shut.
The walk back up the mountain was quiet. We’d eased back into friendly conversation at the restaurant, but the air between us had felt full. It still did, like there was too much to talk about.
Logan’s hand brushed mine now and then, and though I didn’t reach for it, I wanted to. The street was lit by warm lamps and strings of twinkle lights. Salt air and lemon blossoms scented the air, and somewhere in the distance, music was playing. The occasional barking of a dog reminded me that this was a place where people lived.
As we walked uphill, our shoes scraped the stone path, and I tried not to think too hard. I needed to process our promises to be honest about who we wanted, but not right then. I wasstill too confused, wondering whether he’d made the promise only because he’d asked me to, or if it meant he’d be okay if we were with other people while we were here. I doubted he would, considering his reaction at dinner. And honestly, I wouldn’t either.
What I wanted more than anything was to get him home and into bed. Who knew what that said about me, but I felt like I was on the verge of figuring it out.
We’d left our bags in separate rooms, but after I washed my face and undressed, I went to join Logan. The door was cracked, so I knocked twice and pushed it open.
He was already in bed, propped against the headboard with a pillow behind him.
“Feel like company tonight?” I asked from the doorway.
He glanced up, and an unreadable expression passed over his face before he patted the bed beside him. “Sure. I’m beat, though, so I don’t know what I’ll be up for.”
“Bet I can think of something.” I crossed the room and slid under the covers, turning on my side to face him.
