Page 60 of The Promise
"Yes, at first. Only see there's rules to everything, even whoring, and none of the fancy houses wanted a scrawny kid like me. About the only place I was accepted was on the streets and that was too risky. So I headed west on the first stage out of town.
"Followed the miners mostly. Started out in Del Norte in a dance hall. That's when I changed my name. Saw it on a flyer. Thought it sounded real pretty. Anyway, before long I was making my way. Never had the looks for the fancy places, but I did all right for myself. Finally wound up in Leadville." She stopped memories crowding in faster than she could put them into words. She reached for her locket, comforted by the cool touch of silver.
"Who gave you the locket, Loralee?"
She brought herself back, focusing on Patrick. He had such a strong, handsome face. She could see bits of Duncan in him. She chewed the side of her lip, trying to decide how much to share with him, and finally let the soft light in his eyes decide her. He was a good man.
"My husband."
Patrick couldn't have been moresurprised if she'd up and told him she was really a man. She smiled and squeezed his hand, reassuringly. He tried to stop the wave of jealousy that washed through him.
"I met him in Leadville. Handsomest man you ever did see. Tall like you, but thinner with a wiry build. He was a charmer. But real kind to all the girls. He moved around a lot. Always after big money, I guess. Anyway, he always brung us presents when he got back. He never treated us like working girls. Always had respect for us." She stopped and looked up into Patrick's eyes. "Like you." Her whispered words reduced his gut to jelly.
She turned away again, fixing her gaze on the shadows in the barnyard. "He always seemed to wind up with me and we startedspending more and more time together. He even took me out in a rented buggy once."
The happiness that the memory brought was reflected in her face and it made Patrick want to buy her a fleet of buggies. She leaned back and sighed. "We spent a whole summer like that. I'd never been with anyone like him before. He made me feel special, like I was the only woman in the world. I quit seeing other men. Didn't seem right. Then I found out I was pregnant."
Patrick felt her confusion and pain as if it was happening right there on the porch. He smoothed the soft curls hanging over her shoulder, his hand aching to touch more than just her hair. But she had a husband, he reminded himself fiercely and dropped his hand to his side.
"At first I wasn't sure I should tell him. I mean, I was a whore. And well, I knew it was his baby, but there wasn't a dad-gummed thing I could do to prove it. But finally, I decided I had to." She tipped up her head to look at him. "It was the right thing to do."
He nodded, too full of conflicting emotions to string together any words.
"Well, he was so proud you'd have thought he was the only man to ever make a baby. Started talking about how we had to get married and give our child a home. A home. Can you imagine me with a real home? After all the things I'd done?" She managed to sound outraged and wistful all at the same time.
He whispered 'yes,' but didn't think she heard him.
"At first I said no. I mean I couldn't very well go and marry him. It would have spoiled his reputation. But he just laughed and said he hadn't any reputation to spoil. And he told me he loved me more than he'd ever loved any living thing. Well, I couldn't resist that long. So we got married. And me with a belly already swelling.
"We took a room in town and lived like fancy folks. But the money soon ran low and he said he'd have to go off and find ussome more. I wanted to go back to work. Women do it all the time, but he wouldn't hear of it. I guess in his mind he'd made me respectable and he didn't want me to go and mess it up.
"The night before he left, he gave me this locket. Said it was a reminder that we belonged together. And that he'd be back to get me just as soon as he could." She ran her hand along the filigreed chain. "He fastened it around my neck and kissed me." She ran a finger across her lips, so lost in memory that Patrick doubted she'd even realized she'd done it.
"I remember his exact words. 'Loralee darlin',' he said, 'this locket is forever. It's a symbol of my promise to you. No matter what happens, it will keep you safe. Always.' And then he kissed me again. And then he was gone." She exhaled a breath, her eyes still fixed on the deepening shadows of the yard.
"Three months later Mary was born. The girls helped me, gave me a place to stay. And we waited, Mary and I. He wrote every week. Always promising that we'd be together, that we'd be a family. His last letter said he'd struck it rich and that he'd wire us the money to meet him. I waited and waited. I never heard from him again."
"What happened?"
"I never knew. But I know in my heart that he's dead." She said it with finality.
"Oh God, Loralee, I'm sorry."
She patted his shoulder, as if he were the one who needed comforting. "It's all right. It was a while ago. I've had time to make my peace with it."
"What happened to Mary?"
Her face tightened. "We tried to make it on our own for a while, but no one wants a woman with a child. So I moved on." She opened her mouth to continue and then closed it as if deciding to skip over part of the story. Patrick wondered what she wasn't telling him.
"I wound up here and found a place in the cribs and went back to whoring, but the cribs weren't any place for a little girl. Mary was two and I didn't want her to have the same kind of life I did. So I swallowed my pride and wrote to my sister."
"Faye?"
"Yup. She'd done real well for herself. Married a preacher man. I figured it was the best possible kind of home for Mary. So I sent her to Virginia."
"Have you seen her?"
"No. Folks write for me sometimes, but I don't want her to be ashamed of her mama. So I've tried to let her go. I know my sister is telling folks Mary's hers. She can't have children of her own."
