Page 70 of Taking Care of You
“It’s not,” Frank says softly, but vehemently. “There’s nothing okay about putting your child out on the streets.”
Ethan rubs my back and I force back tears. I know neither Frank nor Grace would put Ethan out. No matter who he loved, they would never talk down to him or make him feel like shit because of it. They would love him through everything.
Grace grabs my hand. “You have no other family? No one else?”
Here it is. Here’s the moment they’ll ask me to go stay with relatives or beg my mother to let me come back home. The problem is I don’t have any relatives. There is no one else. Both my mother and father were only children, and both sets of grandparents are deceased. It’s just me and them.
“No. Just my mom and dad. It’s okay, I’ll give her a call and ask if I can come back.”
“Like hell you will,” Frank says with more bass in his voice than I’ve ever heard. I startle slightly and move back into Ethan. Frank rubs his hand over his face and gives me an apologetic look. “No. You will not go back to a house where you’re abused. You’re here often enough. You’ll stay here.” He says that with a note of finality, one that I can’t really argue with.
I look back and forth between him and Grace and see the same determined look on their faces. This isn’t them pitying me or feeling sorry for me. This is them trying to take care of me. Being there for me when no other adult has. I nod repeatedly and the tears I try to hold back make tracks down my cheeks.
“Oh, sweetie,” Grace whispers and comes over to take me in her arms again. “It’ll all be okay now. You’re safe here.” I cry harder because I haven’t really felt safe anywhere elsebuthere. At Crystal’s, my mother could always walk down the street and terrorize me if she wanted to. She doesn’t know where Ethan lives. I could breathe here. I could be me here. I could be safe.
Here.
After I cry on her shoulder, Grace lets me go and Ethan wraps an arm around me, kissing my cheek gently.
Frank clears his throat and we both look at him. He looks awkward and I have a feeling I know where this is going. “Now, I know you two are eighteen. Adults, technically. But I want to say…be careful. Use…protection.” He grits that last part out and I hear Ethan groan behind me.
“Dad, please,” he huffs out. Despite my heartache, I chuckle.
“I’m just saying,” Frank says. He sounds uncomfortable as hell. Poor guy. “Ethan, we’ve had ‘the talk’, so that’s out of the way. Even still. Safety first.”
“Yes, sir,” I answer, knowing there’s nothing else I can really say. I clear my throat and swallow past the lump that’s lodged there. “Thank you. For letting me stay.”
The next fewdays are tough. I’m not sure why I’m so broken up about not being at my parents’ house anymore. I already had my exit strategy.
But fuck. The things she said. In front of Ethan, Crystal, and Isaiah. They were harsh, even for her.
For fuck’s sake, I’m still a virgin that didn’t like to talk to people other than Crystal before I followed Ethan outside like a weirdo. When I wasn’t at home before I met Ethan, I was at Crystal’s, a house she could see when she stepped out on the porch. So when would I have time to whore myself out?
Why doesn’t my mother want me? Why does she feel like I’m nothing? Because of my sexuality? That’s a tough pill to swallow because I would love for my mother to want me, but I would never change who I am just to gain her love.
Ethan has been there for me, comforting me with his presence. I know he’s dying to ask me how I am and how he can make it better, but there’s nothing he can do right now. I need to sort it through my head by myself.
I try to put on a happy face for Grace and Frank. They ask Ethan and I to help them decorate the tree. I join the conversation and do my best to laugh. I don’t want them to worry about me. I’m already so grateful that they let me stay here.
My mind-reading boyfriend knows me too well for me to pretend to be happy. While we’re trimming the tree, he casts glances at me and I try to send him small smiles, but I’m sure they look shaky and awkward. He returns them, but not very enthusiastically.
I’ve been sleeping in Ethan’s room so he can hold me. I cry every night, something I really hate, but it still hurts. They aren’t the body-heaving sobs like the day everything went down, but the tears make tracks down my face and Ethan is there to wipe them away. Being tossed out like I’m nothing, hurts.
I’m so glad it’s Christmas break. I’m not sure I could’ve pretended to be okay in school with Crystal being all sad and Ellewanting to know what’s going on. I couldn’t hide it from her, and I would be a puddle of tears.
Crystal called me the day after I got my stuff. Her father cleaned up and gathered what I couldn’t carry. But my bed, dresser, and TV were gone. Someone—or multiple someone’s—took them so they have a new home. At least my mother had the decency to pull everything out of each dresser drawer and toss it on the lawn so no one took my clothes with them. The stuff I didn’t have space to bring was safe with Crystal. She promised to come visit after Christmas and bring everything to me.
On Christmas Eve, I’m still sad and not really in the spirit to celebrate anything. On top of that, I don’t have any money to buy anyone gifts. I have Ethan’s gift, but I’m not sure about it anymore. I’m not sure if he’ll like it. It seems so stupid now.
I fall asleep in my favorite position: wrapped around Ethan with my head tucked in the crook of his neck.
It seems like as soon as I fall asleep, I’m shaken awake gently. I pry my eyes open and look around to see what the problem is. It takes me a moment to focus on Ethan’s face. His eyes are bright and he looks excited about something. I reach around him and grab my phone to see it’s one-thirty in the morning. Ugh. Glad we don’t have school.
“What’s up? You okay?” I ask him, sitting up.
He nods, then holds his hand out to me. “Wanna go somewhere with me?”
I immediately grasp his hand. I’ve been out of it for days, but I’ll never turn down an opportunity to go anywhere with Ethan.
