Page 51 of Taking Care of You
“Yes. Overwhelming. And another thing. He’s going to USC, Crys. I can possibly have my boyfriend for more than a few more months. If I don’t fuck it up.”
She squeals again and gives me another hug. I love that she’s so excited for me. Just as I would be for her in this situation.
“That’s great! You won’t fuck it up. I see how you look at each other. This is the real deal, the fairy tale love we hear about when we’re kids. Just let me be your best woman at the wedding, please.”
I laugh and playfully shove her. “Yeah, if we make it that far, you have my word.”
I doubt we’ll get there, but it’s nice to imagine that he’ll be mine forever. Even if we are still young and in high school, I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like Ethan.
We talk for a while longer before I reluctantly head home. Mr. Parker knows about my home life and tries to keep me over here as much as possible, but in the past, my mother has come over acting a fool, so there’s only so much he can do. I stopped trying to hide out here to make sure he’s not put in a bad spot again.
Before I go home, he asks, “You have protection, son?” I duck my head, cheeks flaming. “I know you don’t want ‘the talk’, but if you need it, come see me.”
Nodding, I walk home, cheeks still warm from my best friend’s father telling me he’d buy me condoms to keep me safe.
17
Instead of staying at Ethan’s house for the few days before his first track meet, I stay home. I barely leave my room—only to cook, wash my clothes, use the bathroom, and go to school. Other than that, I spend most of my time locked in my room.
I hear my mom moving around, and I think I hear my dad’s deep voice, but I didn’t check and see. I thought back while I was in my room and realized I haven’t actually seen my dad’s face in two months. It’s even more of a shock that I don’t go seek him out. I’d usually try to find a reason to leave my room just so I could try to have a conversation with him.
Now, I want to avoid both of my parents. After seeing how Ethan’s parents are with him, I know this isn’t normal. I shouldn’t have to beg or put myself in my dad’s orbit for him to speak to me. My mother shouldn’t belittle me or talk down to me or try to hit me. I shouldn’t have a mother that drinks because she can’t cope with the fact that I’m gay or that she’s miserable for reasons I can’t even begin to fathom.
But this is my life. My parents are like that and I have no intention of trying anymore. That thought hurts me deep,thinking of washing my hands of my parents. They’re still my mother and father.
But it is what it is. I have a few more months, then I’ll move and won’t look back.
As I’m packing my bag for the party and for the weekend at Ethan’s, it feels kind of final. I’m not sure why. Ihaveto come back, since I have nowhere else to stay. But I have this nagging feeling that something about this weekend will change everything.
Shaking that thought off, I slide my bag over my shoulder and walk over to Crystal’s. Her dad fixed her car, so it doesn’t make as much noise as before, but he told her that it might not last much longer. We know that he probably won’t be able to afford another one, so we’ve kind of prepared to start riding the bus again.
She pulls away from the curb as soon as I slide into the car.
“Staying with Ethan again? What do his parents have to say about that?” she asks in a scandalized voice.
I side-eye her. “We’re not fucking, Crys. He sleeps in his room while I sleep in the guest room.” I don’t mention that I did fall asleep in his room once, but it was an accident.
Pulling up to Ryder’s house is like pulling up to a frat party. There are several cars in the driveway and some on the lawn, with people standing outside drinking out of red cups. The neighborhood Ryder lives in has tons of land around each house with the nearest neighbor way down the road. Far enough away where they can’t hear the music or the crazy high school kids doing shit they’re not supposed to do.
While Ethan’s house is in a wealthy area but doesn’t look too gaudy or pretentious, Ryder’s is the opposite. It’s a huge mansion that is probably only seen in movies about the super wealthy. It’s an all-white, sprawling expanse that sort of reminds me of the house at the beginning ofThe Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.The shrubs are perfectly manicured and the lawn is cut within an inch of its life.
Crystal and I wind our way around people that are lying on the lawn, smoking or drinking, and we go inside to look for Ryder. There are even more people inside, drinking in the foyer, the kitchen sitting room, and hallways.
I take out my phone to text Ryder, since he gave me his number earlier today, but I hear my name called behind me and I know he’s found me.
“Jakoby! Hey! You made it!” Before I can turn around, I’m pulled around roughly into a one-armed hug.
I smile at him when he lets me go. “I’m here.”
He’s not looking at me though. He’s staring at Crystal. “Hey. I’m glad you came.”
Crystal’s eyebrows meet her hairline. “Yeah? Why?”
Ryder shrugs, his cheeks turning pink. “I don’t know. Just didn’t think you’d want to come, that’s all.” He doesn’t give her a chance to answer. He puts his arm around my shoulder loosely and I grab Crystal’s hand, and we walk to the kitchen. There’s a beer pong table set up and there are two basketball players getting cups together. “Found my partner!” Ryder yells.
I shake my head and drag my feet. “I don’t drink.”
He smiles at me and pulls me closer to the table. “I know. Ethan told me. You’re going to throw and I’m going to drink. It’s fine. I have a high tolerance.” He turns around and winks at Crystal, who laughs softly. I’m sure he’s just trying to make up for the awkwardness at school and in the foyer.
