Page 45 of Taking Care of You
Ethan pulls me more firmly against him and I raise my arms to wrap around his neck. His hand moves down to the small of my back, almost gripping my ass to pull me as close as I can get. I feel his dick, hard and pressing against my belly.
No matter how much I thought about kissing Ethan, it was never this good. Nothing has ever felt this good. His hands on me, his dick hard for me, his tongue moving languidly over mine. Not even my wildest fantasies could have prepared me for how combustible I feel.
I let the kiss go on, moving my mouth and tongue over his…
…then I snap out of it.
Eyes flying open, I snatch my lips from his and stumble back until I land on the bed. I raise my hand to my lips, then look at him, eyes wide with fear. “I’m sorry,” I murmur.
He walks over and kneels in front of me. “Why?Ikissedyou.”
I sigh, tears brimming my eyes. “Yeah, because I made you feel bad about it when we were at the pier.”
Ethan gives me a small, sad smile. “Creep,” he says quietly. I relax hearing the nickname. "You think you made me feel bad about not kissing you? You think I haven’t wanted to kiss you all this time?”
I stop breathing. That can’t be right. He wanted to kiss me? Since when?
Ethan takes my hands in his. “I thought I was obvious. I haven’t been able to be around you and not touch you for weeks. I've been kissing your forehead and cheek for weeks. I’ve wanted you around me every dayfor weeks.” He kisses the back of my hands while I stare at him wide-eyed. “I’ve wanted you, creep. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I also didn’t want you to associate our first kiss with sadness. That’s why I didn’t kiss you at the pier.
“But I shouldn’t have hesitated. You needed it. You neededme.I’m trying to make up for it now.” He kisses my hands again and gazes up at me with those beautiful brown eyes.
I stammer, not knowing where to start. “But…you’re…Ethan, you’re not gay.”
He shrugs and says, “I know. But I’m not straight either.”
Shaking my head, I try to wrap my mind around this entire conversation. “What? What do you mean?”
Ethan gets off the floor and sits beside me, pulling me to his side. “I think I’m bi or pan. I’ve been doing research and still haven’t figured it out. But I like you. So that means I’m not straight.”
“When did you figure this out?”
Ethan takes his time answering the question. I don’t rush him. This is a big deal, coming out to someone. I remember my experience.
I told Crystal first. My heart in my throat, I croaked out that I thought I was gay, and she didn’t waste time giving me a hug, telling me she didn’t see me any differently and that I would always be her best friend. That was all I needed to hear to shore up the courage to tell my parents, though that didn’t go as well.
Smiling, Ethan looks over at me and says, “When you followed me outside.”
“What?”
He laughs and pulls me to him, kissing my forehead, and I melt. “Doesn’t matter, creep. Just know that you didn’t make me feel bad from asking me to kiss you. I felt bad about not kissing you because I wanted to, but I was too afraid. I’m not anymore.” He leans back slightly so he can look me in the eye. “Is that a good enough answer?”
Nodding quickly, I move back into him, resting against his chest.
I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “What now?” I ask softly.
“Nothing now,” he shrugs. “Nothing changes. Well, except you’re my boyfriend for real.” He answers, then adds, “Right?”
I nod again, burrowing more into his side. Ethan raises his arm until I’m comfortable, then tucks me in, kissing the top of my head.
Softly, I murmur, “If you’ve wanted me since I followed you outside, you could have just asked me to be your boyfriend instead of faking it, you weirdo.”
He laughs lightly then murmurs, “I could have. But would you have believed I was serious?"
Not at all.
“You’re right,” I whisper.
“I’m sorry I was a coward and didn’t tell you how I felt, though,” he says somberly. “I hid behind being your friendbecause I didn’t want you to think I assumed you wanted to be with me just because you’re gay.”
