Page 37 of Taking Care of You
I stop breathing. Literally stop breathing. This can’t be real, right? We can’t all be going to the same school, right? That would be too much like the stars aligning and finally cutting me a small break.
I gulp and barely get out, “Me too. Well, not running for them, but that’s where I’m going to college.”
Sitting up quickly, he turns to me and grabs my hands. “Are you shitting me?” I shake my head, not able to meet his eyes. “So my creep will be hanging around a little longer?”
My face grows hot, my hopeless romantic heart picking up that he called mehis creep.
Nodding, I slide my hands from his and take my previous position of leaning against the headboard. “I’m ready to get out of here. I wish I could leave now.” I say, surprising myself.
“Why?” he asks quietly. He knows a bit about my home life, but not how bad it really is.
Sighing, I scrub a hand down my face. How much do I tell him? I don’t want him to pity me—I just want him to understand.
“My mom doesn’t like that I’m gay. She goes out of her way to remind me that she doesn’t approve. I would say my father is the same, but I don’t really know. I haven’t had a real conversation with him in years. He’s always working. When Idosee him, it’s just a ‘good morning’ or a ‘good night’ when he’s getting home from a double shift. I just don’t want to be there anymore. That house hasn’t felt like my home in years.”
I’m thankful I don’t cry when I talk about my homelife. It hurts to talk about what I don’t have when he has loving parents that want nothing but the best for him. That’s not his fault, though. His parents are great, and I love their family dynamic.
I’m surprised when I feel his arm go around me and even more surprised when he pulls me over to lay my head on his shoulder. “I hate that you’re going through that, creep. If anyone deserves good things, it’s you.”
I want to believe him, but I’m so pessimistic it’s hard for me to absorb that. “How do you know? You don’t really know me, Ethan.”
With a kiss on my forehead, he tells me, “I do know you. I know you’re kind. I know you’re weirdly funny.” I laugh at that because I am far from funny. More sarcastic than anything. “You’re smart. You’re loyal. You’re good. You deserve good things, creep. And I know you. Just like you know me.”
“Not enough,” I whisper, kicking myself for trying to push him away with my words.
It doesn’t seem to matter, and it doesn’t seem like Ethan is going to give up on me. “Not enough,” he agrees. “But we still have time. Besides, we’ll be at the same university. We have plenty of time.”
“You think you’ll still want to be my friend in college? You’ll have your track friends and school friends. You don’t want the gay kid from high school hanging around like a stage-five clinger.”
I feel his laugh rumble through me, and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough. “Creep, I’ll probably beyourstage-five clinger. Now, hush, so we can watch the movie. I’m going to quiz you on some of the plays.”
Letting out a small laugh, I try to scoot over to my original spot, but Ethan tightens his hold on me. Giving up—because I know he’ll keep pushing until he gets his way—I get comfortable and watch the rest of the movie.
As promised, he quizzes me on some of the positions and laughs at me when I mix them up. I laugh along with him because I really don’t understand what’s going on. He explains what I get wrong and, after a while, I catch on.
This is what I like about hanging out with Ethan. We just have fun. There’s no pressure for me to be something that I’m not. Even though I still don’t talk as much as I should, he doesn’t care. Ethan pulls information out of me and doesn’t seem to mind the work. I want to open up to him because I trust him. It’s hard to believe that I trust anyone besides Crystal, but Ethan has more than earned it.
I don’t remember fallingasleep. My last memory was laughing at Ethan while he told me about him and Ryder playing prankson each other at away games. We stayed up for a few hours after the movie went off, and I learned a lot about him in that small amount of time.
Like, I learned he and Ryder have been friends as long as Crystal and me, having met in kindergarten, but in the private school that’s a few miles away. I learned that he’s deathly afraid of spiders, which was the prank that had me cracking up.
Ryder hid some of those Halloween spiders in his gym bag, and Ethan said he screamed so loud, the coach came rushing out thinking someone was hurt.
Finding out that Ethan lovesLord of the Ringswas a big surprise. Not because I didn’t think he was a reader, but because those books are fucking boring. I’m not sure how anyone loves them, but I think I was more shocked about that than anything else he told me. I teased him about that, making him tease me for wanting to get aGame of Thronestattoo, a perfectly reasonable first tattoo. Everyone lovesGame of Thrones.
We stayed up trading stories, learning about each other in a way I never thought possible. I’ve never talked to anyone like I did with Ethan. He’d almost smashed through the walls I so carefully built around myself, letting him know things that I would generally keep to myself. Like I want to be a physicist. While it’s not a secret, I don’t share my aspirations with anyone, for fear that they might not happen.
I told him that I want to get published for my work, to learn more about different scientific experiments that will help revolutionize the future. I also told him about some things I want to do while I’m in college—try new things, make more friends, and get out of my shell more. I told him I could be free there and try to learn more about myself.
"Don’t worry, creep,” he told me, kissing my cheek as he pulled me closer to him. “You can do whatever you want to do, and if you want my help along the way, I’ll be there.”
I smiled at that and burrowed into his side, since he wouldn’t move his arm from around my shoulder. That’s the last thing I remember before I woke up hot and sweaty.
My eyes still closed, and lying on my back, I feel a tickle on my face. Going from my eyebrows, to my nose, down my lips and over my chin.
Ethan’s finger.
I almost don’t want to open my eyes and break the magic of the moment.
