Page 63 of Taking Care of You
We break the kiss and Ethan moves back so he can look at me. “Was that okay? Did I do it right?” I’m like a bobblehead from how hard I’m nodding. “No pointers?” I shake my head. “Good.” He kisses me long and deep again, turning me to mush.“Come on, let’s get a shower. We can grab your clothes when we get out.”
As long as I’ve been coming over and spending the night, I’ve never been in Ethan’s bathroom. Since I usually sleep in the guest room, I use that bathroom when I have to shower and what not.
His bathroom is nice and resembles the guest bathroom. Except the huge garden tub looks custom-made.
We shower…after he shoves me against the wall and puts his mouth back on mine. Maybe Ethan feels like I do, never getting tired of kissing me.
Even though we messed around in bed and took a while in the shower, his parents still aren’t home. They sent Ethan a text, letting him know they’re going to be a bit longer, as there was an influx of people who came in on the cold night for a warm place to stay and a hot meal.
After I go to my room and get a pair of underwear, Ethan gives me one of his shirts to put on. I’m practically swimming in it. I love it. It smells like lavender and whatever cologne Ethan uses, even though it’s freshly-washed. Or maybe Ethan’s scent is burrowed into my brain, and everything smells like him.
We climb in the bed, and after Ethan gets comfortable, I tuck into his side, throwing a leg over him. He runs his other hand up and down my back, making me shiver.
Sighing, Ethan tells me, “I want to thank you, creep.”
I look at him curiously. “Thank me for what?”
“You asked me what happened with me and Ryder.” His chest puffs up as he drags in a deep breath. “I thought he didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I wasn’t going to say anything, but when you asked me, I realized I missed hanging out with him so I talked to him about it. I almost lost my best friend because of things he was going through but didn’t know how to express.So, thank you.” He kisses my forehead. “For pushing me to get my friend back.”
I smile up at him and kiss the underside of his chin. “You’re welcome. Even though I’m sure you two would have figured it out anyway.”
“Maybe.”
“Are you comfortable telling me now why you wanted to bemyfriend?”
“Yeah. Sure, creep.” Ethan moves me out of his arms and lies down on his side, mirroring my position. “I watched you for a while.” I snort in disbelief. “No, seriously. I would see you looking at me sometimes, but not how everyone else looks at me.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, eyebrows knitted together.
“I mean, everyone looks at me for what I can do for them, not who I am.” When I still look confused, he sits up and I sit up with him.
He faces me with his legs crossed, holding my hands in his lap. “Like, okay, my parents are rich, so people want to be seen with the rich kid. I’m good-looking, so girls want to date me because of that. I’m a good receiver, so people look at me because I win games. I’m a good runner, so I can place in State, making the school look good. People look at me because of what I can do or what I have.” Ethan threads his fingers through mine, squeezing gently. “You don’t.”
He takes a deep breath and leans forward to kiss me softly, making me sigh and lean into him. “You look at me like I’m…Ethan. Just Ethan. Like if I didn’t do sports and my parents didn’t have money and if I wasn’t good-looking, you’d still see me.”
He’s right. I would. I’ve been drawn to him for a while, and it had nothing to do with his wealth, looks, or athleticism. “You’re right.”
“And…I don’t know,” he says softly. “I felt like we were kindred spirits, or whatever it’s called.” I laugh quietly, making him give me a cute half-grin that makes my breath catch in my chest. “Like we could connect and you’d get me for who I am.”
Since he shared with me, I guess I should share with him.
“I used to watch you.” I pause and say, “That sounds creepy.” Ethan laughs and kisses my hand, waving our hands for me to continue. “I used to watch you because I felt like you needed someone. Someone to make sure you were okay. To take care of you. It didn’t seem like you were getting that, you know?”
“I wasn’t. No one really cared enough about me to make sure I was okay. Well, my parents do, but that's not the same. Maybe Ryder, but he had his own shit. Now I know someone cares. Thank you, creep.” Ethan brings me in for a kiss so sweet that I feel my eyes tear up.
He sighs, then lays us back on the bed, my head back on his chest. “And you’re so shy, so vulnerable, I wanted to protect you. I’m sure you don’t need it, but I…want to.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve been feeling…lost for a while. Like no one got me.”
My heart clenches at his words. I know there wasn’t anything I could do to change the past, but I wish I could. I wish he’d never felt that way. No one as amazing as Ethan should ever feel like he was surrounded by people but couldn’t count on any of them.
He continues, “And I didn’t want them to get me. My friends at school, if you can call them that, with the exception of Ryder, don’t really care about the real me. They don’t ask how I am or what I want to do after high school, or anything. Only you and Ryder knew I had a scholarship for track and field before I told Elle and Mitch. Most of them think I have a football scholarship, and the rest don’t care one way or another. Because no one cares. I’ve felt alone for a while.” I can hear a smile in his voice. “But now, I feel seen. Because you see me."
God, why does he have to be so perfect? If this doesn’t work out, I don’t think I’ll survive the heartbreak.
“I will always see you,” I say. “Because you saw me when no one else did.”
He lifts my chin gently and gives me a soft kiss.
“Good,” he says simply when he pulls back.
