Page 18 of Taking Care of You
“Uh…getting food. I don’t like to eat and drive.” He looks at me like I should know the answer to that question. “Come on, we got some time to sit down and have a burger, creep.”
I huff a breath which makes him laugh and hop out of the car. I don’t mind sitting and eating with him, but I wonder what people will think if they see us out together. He’s…well…Ethan, and I don’t want my reputation to affect his.
Tugging on the sleeve of his jacket, I draw him closer and whisper, “You’re not afraid to be seen with me? People will…” I let my voice trail off, not able to finish.
He shrugs and leans his hip against the car. “They can think what they want, Jakoby. I like hanging out with you. I don’t care what they think. Do you?”
I don’t care what they say aboutme. I’ve heard it all over the years and it’s whatever. No one but my mother has the power to really hurt me with their words.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I tell him, “It’s just, I don’t want to ruin your reputation.”
The laugh he lets out seems to go on forever. “Oh, creep.” He puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me inside. “We're done with high school in eight months. I don’t care about my reputation.”
Once inside, we place our order. Ethan pays for our food with no question and I inwardly cringe. I hate how obvious it is that I’m so poor. It’s one of the many things that separates Ethan and me.
When our order number is called, we find a table near the back so no one will overhear our conversation.
After we sit—and without preamble—Ethan asks, “It was Tim, huh?”
Even though I don’t want to out Tim, I don’t want to lie to Ethan. I look at him pleadingly. “Please don’t tell anyone. It was…a misunderstanding.”
“I bet,” he says with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “I wonder how you can misunderstand fucking somebody, then making them feel like shit after.”
I glance around, making sure no one heard him, but we’re the only ones back here. “We didn’t…fuck. Not really. Just a blow job.” My face flames and I play with my fries. I didn’t mean to tell him that last bit. But whatever. It’s out now.
Ethan scoffs. “It doesn’t matter. That’s fucked up and he knows it. You didn’t deserve that.”
That we can agree on. “I know. But it’s over now. I’m over it. It’s not a big deal. Please don’t say anything to him or act weird. I don’t want…” I swallow roughly. “I just want to get throughthe year. It’ll be easier if I’m not wondering if some muscled up football player is going to kick my ass.”
His eyes soften as he looks at me and nods. “I won’t say anything. I also won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll keep you safe.”
My mouth drops open in shock. Keep me safe? How? Why? I know we’re friends, but does that come with a bodyguard too?
Closing my mouth and shaking myself, I force out, “Yeah. Thanks.”
We finish our food in silence, then hop back in the car. I turn up the radio, hearing one of my favorite songs. I smile a little, then start singing along quietly, looking out the window, watching the world pass me by.
Other than my low singing and the radio, it’s quiet in the car. I’m still a little on edge after telling Ethan about Tim. It’s not something I planned to tell anyone besides Crystal. I only told her because she saw the look on my face when he walked past me like he didn’t know me.
It was no use lying to her, anyway. She’s been my friend for fourteen years—she can read me well. When I told her what happened, she was angry enough to want to punch Tim in the face. I made her promise she wouldn’t start shit with him. Her response was much like Ethan’s. I begged her not to start drama or out him. It’s really not worth the trouble.
Ethan said he wouldn’t and I hope he keeps his word. I trust that he will, but when people get angry, they tend to say shit they don’t mean to.
I’m so distracted and up in my head, I don’t notice Ethan has turned the radio down until he says, “So you can sing, huh?”
I rub the back of my neck and nervously clear my throat. “Oh. Yeah. A bit. I don’t really anymore, unless I’m…sad.”
Singing is one of the only things that makes me happy. I don’t dare sing loud enough for my mother to hear, but if I’m feelingdown or having a bad day, singing a few of my favorite songs makes me feel better. Dredging up the shit with Tim put me in a funk, even in Ethan’s company. It just reinforces what my mom said about me—that I’m always on my knees and being a slut.
Ethan takes my hand and rubs his thumb over the back. “I’m sorry I asked. I really am. I didn’t mean to bring up shit that would make you sad..”
I sink down into the seat, loving how the contact feels. “It’s okay.” He looks skeptical. “For real. I’ve only told Crystal about it. It’s good to be able to tell someone else.”
Much to my heart’s excitement, Ethan doesn’t stop stroking my hand. For the rest of the ride, he keeps up the motion. I just manage to keep my smile to myself.
I could get used to this.
7
