Page 18 of All the Pain of Promises
Which was fine, she didn’t require his companionship.
Narissa had grown rather used to spending time by herself.
She would attend to herladylike matterswhile he gallivanted off with his brothers to shoot constellations out of the sky—a sport which sounded far more exciting than anything she could imagine. Solarius probably thought she intended to busy herself with knitting, or drawing, or spending obscene amounts of money at the shops in Azurvend while sharing bits of gossip with other noble ladies. But in truth, she had no one to share her innermost thoughts and secrets with, she was without a close confidante or dearest friend. Despite being taken in by Reif after the death of her parents, her relationship with her cousin was one of agreeable cordiality. As Lord of House Azurvend, Reif was far too preoccupied with his own schedule and responsibilities to pay her much attention, so Narissa foundher own ways to amuse herself in the long stretches of time she spent alone.
She collected the near-empty plate and set it on the nightstand, then padded across the floor to where a small, bronze siren statue was fixed to the far wall. Wrapping one hand around the siren’s tail, she pulled gently and the hidden door gave way, groaning open to reveal a dimly lit secret room.
The space was smaller than her bedroom, but it was cozy, and it was the one place in all of Aeramere where she truly felt at peace. Where she could lock herself away and pretend the rest of the world had ceased to exist.
Dried herbs hanging from long pieces of twine decorated the rough stone walls, and wooden shelves were crowded with vases of sugar vine, bloodroot, and ash wood. Jars filled with cloud mist, illuminance algae, and moonflower nectar were right beside baskets of citrus peppers, syrenshade, and a random assortment of mushrooms from House Terensel. Her smooth worktable was crowded with bowls of crushed coral, sea glass, along with a mortar, pestle, and a scratched-up cauldron. Wooden shelves displayed Narissa’s prized collections of potions, salves, and sensual elixirs—the latter of which she sold to the ladies of Aeramere by means of clandestine meetings—because Reif would be horrified if he discovered she was brewing tonics designed to enhance a female’s sexual prowess.
Narissa cleared some room on her worktable and lit a small fire beneath the cauldron. She poured in a small amount of lotus oil, just enough for it to simmer, then set to work grinding some winter rose petals with her mortar and pestle. She added a few drops of smoky vanilla to the crushed flowers, blending them together until her wrist and shoulder ached, then combined them with the lotus oil in the cauldron. Grabbing a wooden spoon from the shelf behind her, she stirred the contents whiletiny bubbles gurgled and popped, and a warm, sultry scent hung heavy in the air.
Despite the cold outside temperatures and the wind rattling the panes of the framed window overlooking the sea, beads of sweat dampened Narissa’s brow. The cotton sleeves of her day dress clung to her skin, and she shoved them up to her elbows as she continued to mix the elixir. For one fleeting moment, she considered concocting a love potion. Perhaps then Solarius would come to his senses, even if he was only charmed into believing it.
Narissa laughed softly at the absurdity of the idea. She shook her head once, the golden waves of her hair frizzing slightly in the thick air. Tucking an errant strand behind her ear, she reached for a bottle of pearl dust, then paused when two feminine voices sounded from inside of her bedchamber.
She stilled, listening as the maids who set to work tidying her room also felt the need to share their opinions on Narissa’s relationship with Solarius.
“I don’t know what he sees in Lady Narissa,” one with a nasal, high-pitched voice proclaimed. “She’s hardly beautiful. In fact, I would call her rather plain.”
“I heard their union was contracted by Lord Starstorm and Lord Marintide.” The second maid had more of a husky voice, as though she’d swallowed a handful of rocks. “Lord Solarius probably doesn’t even love her.”
“I pity him,” the first responded, snorting with derision. “How tragic for someone as handsome and charming as Lord Solarius to be bound to such a delicately tedious female who prefers potions to parties.”
“She always was a bit of a wallflower.”
“Well, if Lord Solarius is looking for a more bountiful garden, my gates are certainly open.”
The maids giggled, their mocking laughter echoing through the small crevices of the stone wall, gradually filling Narissa with a sense of immeasurable dread. She pressed the heel of her palm to her chest to alleviate the building pressure there, rubbing in slow circles while she took one steadying breath after another.
Cruelty knew no bounds.
Narissa wasn’t ignorant—she was well aware that her perceived love for the solitary and her quirky hobbies made her a less than desirable mate to most. Yet the truth of it was she didn’tenjoybeing alone. It was simply a matter of fact. She never experienced a proper introduction to society after the death of her parents, and it was a difficult task to find companions of worth as most ladies of Aeramere were rather fond of gossip and lacking in trustworthiness. In truth, the only female Narissa would consider an honorable friend was Lady Sarelle Starstorm, and not even she knew the truth behind Narissa and Solarius’s abrupt and failed courtship.
Admittedly, their reasons for ending things were murky at best. Narissa had no desire to slander his reputation or character, so she stewed in silent contempt instead, only voicing her dislike for him when the need arose. However, Solarius seemed trapped in a world of delusion, choosing to direct his anger for his own misgivings at her instead of himself. Naturally, outlandish rumors surrounded their falling out, with neither Narissa nor Solarius confirming or denying anything. She was never certain why Solarius remained silent on the matter, but for Narissa, her pride had been bruised and her heart had been broken.
Shame cut her deeply, like a blade forged of cold iron.
After all, it was her secret to keep. If she didn’t want all of Aeramere to know that Solarius had charmed his way into her bed, taken her virtue, then refused to speak to her again…then that was her business.
She owed no one an explanation.
And for Solarius to act as though he’d done nothing wrong, like she was somehow at fault…well it filled her with a kind of blinding rage, which was why she gave him her absolute worst any time they were stuck with one another for company.
Anger, insults, attitude, and saucy comments were all she could do to protect her fragile heart from him.
Narissa sighed, letting the contents in the cauldron simmer over the open flame. Eventually the maids finished their cleaning and finally went about the rest of their daily tasks, but Narissa didn’t return to her bedchamber. Instead, she enclosed herself in her room of potions and practicality, a place where she could control every aspect around her. Where nothing was left to chance or fate. She toiled over the cauldron for hours, perfecting the special oil blend until her eyes began to water, and she lost all track of time.
“I thought I might find you in here.”
Narissa’s head snapped up at the masculine voice and her gaze zeroed in on the entry where Reif lounged against the arching wall. The cuffs of his blue shirt were rolled, and his loose tan pants were tucked into his shiny onyx boots. One finger was hooked in the collar of the well-worn coat slung over his shoulder and his sandy blond hair was mussed and swept over half his face, as though he’d just stepped inside from off the beach.
Reif lifted a single brow in question. “Care to explain why you’re hiding away from the world the day after your wedding?”
“Not particularly.” Narissa pressed her lips together and doused the flame beneath the cauldron with a spritz of water, just enough to smother the small fire into nothing but damp embers and curling ribbons of smoke.
“I would have thought you were spending time with Lord Solarius all day,” he drawled, pushing away from the unevenstone wall. “So, you can imagine my surprise when I learned he has been out from House Azurvend since mid-morning and you were not with him.”
